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Middle, mature, elderly aged person...lonely & living alone...Needing someone to talk to?..Let’s be here for each other.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Everyone....🤗.

have noticed that a lot of mature aged and elderly people are living alone and overwhelmed by loneliness...I though I would make this thread to give and receive support to each other as well as a place where we could also chat about any thing you want to chat about...so we can all get to know each other...Life’s not as lonely with others to talk to....forum friends can be a big help for us in not feeling so alone...

Share some tips, exercise, gardening, favourite meals, recipes, books your reading, hobbies, what you like doing.....pets and their impact they have in your life....anything at all you feel that would help other people struggle with living alone.💐...and loneliness..

I have a volunteer day..one day a week, which gets me outside of my home and into a different atmosphere where I can talk to the other volunteers and sometimes even customers, when I venture into the shop...Do you volunteer yourself somewhere...

I have 2 little Maltese x Yorkshire..that are my companions, they help me to get out of bed each morning to care for them....when really all I want to do is stay in bed.....

Please feel free to talk about what your interests are or how your traveling right now..

Looking forward to getting to know you...

Grandy..

67 Replies 67

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Everyone...

Yesterday was my first Tuesday home after I finished my volunteer job, due to not feeling unwanted...

I decided to not sit around and think about it..instead I thought I might vacuum the floors...and ended up doing a thorough cleaning of my lounge room....started by moving out the lounges and vacuuming behind and under them....Oh my goodness those tiny little annoying black insects that attack the lights at night..I must have vacuumed up enough to start a small pot plant off...😁..

Those horrid thoughts came into my head about why am I doing this..what and who for..it’s only me and my fur family...My answer this time instead of stopping what I was doing and have a cry...Was...Me...I’m doing it for me..I like my home clean..I deserve to have a clean home because it makes me feel better...so after a little rest I started to continue to clean...

My vacuum job, ended up with me washing windows and changing curtains to darker ones, due to the hot summer heat we have in the central west of NSW..Washing the curtains I replaced and putting them away for next winter..polishing my lounge room floor which extended into the kitchen and dining room...polishing furniture and ornaments..One last thing to do...light my candles then make a well deserved iced coffee..sitting on my lounge, I was so happy with how clean everything looked...and the aroma that the candles added to the room....

A small job that should have taken only 20 minutes to do, ended up taking up most of my day...and made me feel quite good about myself...

When living alone can be lonely, boring and we can get very unmotivated and our thoughts of why do I need to this and that... The reason is for you..because we deserve to do what ever we want to do...whether it’s cleaning, sitting in the sun, reading a book..sewing, crosswords....It’s our life to live the best way we can...

I am still trying my best to live alone, care about me..and be content with me...How are you all doing today..How do you all fill your days living alone?..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy..

Rishie
Community Member
HI,
Nobody seems to have posted here for a while but I found this thread and it seems to fit my situation well. I'm a 48 year old blind woman and I've been living alone for 2 and a half years.
I moved in with my best friends when I left home, and what a relief that was! We moved up to this little town and got us a house together. It was the perfect arrangement for me. I'm an introvert, so I need my own space and time alone, so I could have that and still spend time with my friends and go out together. They moved away in August 2018 because Maria's mother needed full time care. Of course I understood that, it was right for them to go, but it was hard and even harder because my fiance had died just a couple of weeks earlier. The loneliness was crushing and the days dragged on by.

I'm doing better now, I have a great Church family and I have a friend in America that I talk to by phone every day. We read the bible and pray together, listen to music and chat. I don't know what I would do without her support. I also have my little dog, and he is a wonderful companion.

As for my family, well we get on better at a distance. My mother and Aunt came up here before Christmas and tried to persuade me to move into an assisted living place, which I don't need, or alternatively to move down to Grafton where i have family. Thanks, but no thanks. I like it here, and if I moved away I would need to find a new Church, and make friends there, and I would need to find the same sort of help that I have here now. I have someone take me shopping once a week, and someone cleans my house once a fortnight.

Well, I'm rambling here. It's just nice to write to other people who understand.
I do feel lonely at times, though I find things to do. I read a lot, I play my piano and sing, I write poetry, and I have a couple of reborn baby dolls that I totally love. Living alone is good, but the isolation can be hard at time.

Well that is definitely enough from me for now.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Rishie!

Its very nice to meet you...I’m really sorry to hear about your fiancé...that must have been devastating for you...I have been living alone now 7.5 years after I lost my husband..it has taken me a long time to learn to live alone..

My children and their families live over 7 hours drive...I really don’t see them much at all because the trip is too tiring for my fur babies..I don’t like leaving them at home alone...I was happy to read you have a beautiful fur companion....

I think family get concerned about us living alone..you sound like a beautiful strong person who loves your independence...I love those re- born dolls and hope one day I can get one....I do have a small collection of antique dolls that sit in my lounge room and keep me company sometimes..,,We have a poetry page on the forums your very welcome to add your poems to if you feel like it...I have put a few of mine in there...but I think it was a couple of years ago...

Its been nice talking to you and hope you’ll drop by this thread again when you feel up to it.....and talk some more..this thread is for talking about whatever you feel you want to talk about...more for company and ideas to help others living alone...

Rishie....no dear lady..you are not rambling at all...this is what here is for..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..dear precious lady..

Grandy..

Amelia02
Community Member

Hi,
I just want to say hello. I hope everyone is well.
I’m new here but was thinking of starting a thread for people who were interested in keeping track of goals they’re setting for themselves. I’ve found keeping track and keeping structure is more challenging when you live alone as I do. I find myself sleeping at crazy times and everything else going off kilter from this a lot. If there is already a thread for this type of thing let me know.

In the meantime I hope everyone is safe and dry with all this heavy rain.

Amelia

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Amelia02,

A belated Welcome to the forums...

I agree about living alone and how hard it is to set ourselves some goals, then to carry through with them...

I think when we are living alone, it’s really hard to get motivated to do much of anything...

I seem to go to bed at all different hours, eat when I feel like it..,sometimes I don’t eat breakfast until mid afternoon.😂😂..don’t go to sleep until after midnight...hmmm everyday chores, only if I’m motivated enough to do so...

I have set a couple of goals for me...One, my main one...is to be able to just walk out my front gate...on my own and go for a walk feeling like I’m safe, instead of constantly looking behind and all around me...

Talk here anytime you just want to chat about...well anything you feel to...

I have a thread called “small achievements you managed today”..that you can search for in the search box...to help us keep a record of our achievements....I’m not sure if this is the type of thread your looking for...

If not.....you are more then welcome to start your own thread on keeping a record of your goals...

My kindest thoughts with my care, lovely Amelia..

Grandy,,

Amelia02
Community Member

Hi Grandy,

thank-you for your welcome 🙂.

-sleeping at different hours - check
-eating whenever (or, ahem, eating all the time) - check
-chores - what’s that? - Sometimes. I do them sporadically.

I checked out your small achievements thread. I like it a lot.
I think I saw another thread you started? On manifestation too. I also like that! I will have to check it out more thoroughly.

That sounds like a quite big goal for yourself there. Perhaps you need to work up to it. Some people say feel the fear and jump in to it but I’m different. Not sure which approach you take.

I think I will start a thread for anyone who wants to get cheerleaders for themselves and their goal setting. If they are into discipline they can call it accountability 😶. That last emoji is me getting triggered on the word discipline 😉 hahaha. Motivation in whatever form people need it hopefully 🙂. I really need something to keep me on track.

That is a lovely sign off you have 🙂. I hope you’re having a lovely day/ night whatever you’re doing, A

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey Grandy, 😸I only just re-discovered this thread.... wondering, am I old enough?! Not quite ready for the Beatles song, nor the Age Pension... but I feel I past these a decade ago.

😺So, this is just a note, in case I lose this thread again...while I'm sleeping/listening to my audiobook.

Out tomorrow for more tests/scans.. it's like lions & tigers & bears, oh my! I am not really getting used to them at all. I continue to feel anxious every time I have to go for another x-ray, scan, test with/without dye or fasting...

Then, my helper said, we go for lunch & to visit her place again, now she has a new puppy! (That's 2 adult Labradors 2 varied cats, 1 kitten, & now 1 Labrador puppy. One adult dog is going to have puppies in early July, too.

I think the weather will be better than last time when it was raining rather too much.

😺mmMekitty🙀💤(I hope, for both of us)

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello mmMeKitty and everyone...🤗..

It doesn’t matter your age at all lovely lady....Everyone is welcome here....

I am the same...with anxiety and going out...I’m okay if I stay in my car...it’s getting out and around strange people that causes me so much stress/anxiety....

I had an appointment yesterday and today...to have a halter monitor fitted yesterday and removed today....I thought I could go on my own as my support worker had forgotten about this appointment.....I did manage to drive nearly half way to my destination, before anxiety took over me....I stopped on the side of the road, trying to regain my control over my now ongoing panic attack....didn’t realise I stayed their for over an hour until I felt safe to continue....but by now my appointment time was well gone....I drove back home feeling disappointed in me....for not being able to do something so simple that most people don’t give it a second thought going to appointments etc...

My cardiologist did rebook me for another appointment in 2 weeks time...he also rang my support worker with the new appointment date....and said he will ring her the day before to remind her....

Your helper sounds like she really cares about you...and it’s not just a job to her....My first support worker was like that...caring and kind....made a couple of social visits to me outside of her work...makes a big difference to our mental health when people are caring....

I am pleased that you’re going to have a visit at her place and get lots of fur cuddles tomorrow, getting to visit all her gorgeous animals....I do hope you enjoy tomorrow...

Sending you my love, care and hugs dear sweet mmMeKitty..

Grandy...

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

DearGrandy,

For having this kind of anxiety with the panic attactks, I think you did very well! I understand how awfully disappointed you felt, though. I was exactly like that about going to the Dentist, & about anything gynaecological

I would suggest some practice runs, setting off as if going to an appointment on days when you don't have one. It may take a number of attempts, going a little farther each time, before you are able to drive yourself there.

& with some help & understanding from your Cardiologist, & a reminder to your support worker, I hope things go more smoothly when the appointments are due.

*I sometimes will decide on something to reward myself, even though I know the consultation with a Dr is for my benefit, to help myself & care for my health, I may still want to treat myself for successfully getting to the appointment, & staying, & listening, (but I do want my helper taking notes now), thereby keeping myself in the moment & not letting the thoughts & feelings lead me to panic.

Doing these things does take a lot of practice.

I still think getting half way is blooming good 😺

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

mmMekitty

Akasha_Torc
Community Member

Hey there Grandy,

          I really thought that I was alone in wondering where in the world Older aged people could go for support amongst my peers of at least 45 years and above, but I really haven't found that and am going to follow through and go to link for the suggestions page when I finish here. Sometimes it is so hard, some days I need someone to listen that knows what I am talking about when I have my really dark and down days.  But I thought I would take a look when I am not having such a down day.  Hope to chat more soon and with more, over 45ers.

  Looking forward to getting to know you too,

     Old, Fat and a little down