Worst Joke Wednesday

Neil_1
Community Member

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

 

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

 

1,468 Replies 1,468

Croix
Community Champion

What do you call an existential lycanthrope?

A whywolf.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Hello everyone…🤗♥️,
 
I had to look that one up Croix …(lycanthrope) 😁

How do you support a werewolf’s YouTube channel?….

 

 

Lycan subscribe. 

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor

Hello Croix, Grandy and All,

 

Croix, I had to look up lycanthrope too. I imagined a whywolf/werewolf looking confused about life.

 

And Grandy, I found your joke clever and hilarious.

 

What do you call a creature who eats all the cobs in a cornfield except for one that it leaves behind? 🌽

A Unicorn

Q. What do you call a unicorn with no horn?
A: A horse.

Ha ha! That reminds me of a Spike Milligan sense of humour Croix. I just came across something else that reminded me of Spike...

 

I just watched a short film called Granny Grommets and in it someone had a sign in their home that I just learned is a saying by comedian/actor Steven Wright which is:

 

"I intend to live forever, so far so good".

 

Then there is the epitaph that Spike chose for his own grave which is:

"I told you I was ill".

Apparently it's in Irish Gaelic because the church thought it was too controversial and that there was their compromise.

 

And then I made up my own joke:

 

A woman was working for a spy agency. She reported back to her colleagues that a subject of interest they were following had 8 legs. Her colleagues didn't believe her but she insisted this was true. How is this so?

 

Because she spied-her 🕷

Hello everyone…🤗💙..

 

I like your joke Eagle Ray….😂😂..

 

What do unicorns call their dad?…..

 

Pop corn

"I intend to live forever, so far so good". 

Very funny, ER!

 

On the subject of unicorns here's another unicorn-themed pun:

 

Did you hear about the pessimistic unicorn? 

He always said "neigh". 

Well done Grandy and sbella 🤣

 

When bored in the vegetable patch the various types of vegetables would tell each other jokes. Why did all the others groan when it was the sweetcorn's turn to tell a joke?

 

Because the jokes were too corny.

What happens when you cross a spider and an ear of corn?


Cobwebs.