Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the circus performer decide to quit her job?

Because she was juggling too many things.

[Croix]

At a circus there’s a calamity and two lions escape.

They manage to grab hold of a clown and start devouring him. One lion turns to the other and asks “does this taste funny to you?

[Eagle Ray]

A pigeon got a job with a fencing contractor using a post hole digger to build fences. Why did he decide to quit before long?

Because he felt he was being pigeon-holed all the time.

[Croix]

What’s the difference between me and a pigeon?

The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.

[Croix]

What’s faster, a Porsche or gossip?

Depends, is it juicy?

[Eagle Ray]

What kind of car do pets like to drive?

A Furrari

[Croix]

How do you know you do not have an energetic dog?

He chases parked cars.

[Ggrand]

What did the police officer do when he saw a dog giving birth on the side of the road?

He gave her a ticket for littering.

[Croix]

I can't take my dog down to the local pond anymore, because the ducks keep attacking him.

It's my fault for choosing a pure bread dog

[Eagle Ray]

What kind of creature has an existential crisis on a regular basis?

The Loch Ness Monster because he doesn't know if he is real or not.