The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[inner_strength_]

Danny!

It’s okay, don’t be sorry. I’ve been in a similar mindset recently too so do excuse my delayed response! You put it well, that is what it feels like! Frustrating and debilitating! Hope you are finding that inner strength of yours!

That is a very sad situation! Oh gosh! Honestly, not great with legalistics. So damn sad. If she lives nearby a town centre maybe she could try contacting for example Newtown Neighbourhood Centre or a local town centre who can help with people in a homeless situation. As well as maybe a local church for advice, know of one in Newtown that is accepting of the LGBTQI+ community!

Honestly, it is ridiculous! Desperately indeed! This is not okay. Hope you and your friend are doing a bit better.

Have been with my partner for a similar amount of time. Could not imagine her mindset! Hopefully she can find a supportive mother’s groups, even online or near where she would move before moving! Maybe she could try moving out West and hopefully getting benefits (low income?) and working part time and when her baby needs sitting, could go to a friend/ family member. She is lucky to have you! Hopefully circumstances improve quickly!

[inner_strength_]

Hi Guys,

Did not mean to take what seems like a long break! Just having a difficult time as we all do.

Stuck and not doing what I'm aware I'd need to do to feel better.

For me it's stressing about everything, trying to begin/continue a project/s and not knowing how to continue because I critique myself too much as I’ve consistently been by others and just don’t do what I’m meant to even though I’m aware I’m able to do so. Tend to not realise how critical I’m being or that I’m being critical at all on myself. On the other hand, I’ve not socialised for a long time due to not wanting to compare because of this inner conflict of not accomplishing…..

Usually, I’ll postpone what needs doing, dwell on things that means not letting go of past disappointment and dwelling on the negative

Do you guys experience this? Feel alone and would appreciate your advice. Know that it can be common and you need to figure it out yourself but wondering if you guys have tips for moving on with things and getting out of a rut of being swamped in? As I’ve not know for a while of how to get on with it and what I’ve needed to do for a while..

This is really hard for me to even type things like this because don’t want to dampen other people. However, feeling down and would appreciate your advice. Had a realisation the other day, so simple but made me
rethink that I’m just dwelling continuously on what I’ve not accomplished or don’t have... Also recently read that unhappy people dwell on what’s missing but happy people dwell/focus on what they have.. Simple and common sense but thought that was helpful and it may help you who is reading this…really don’t want to make others feel down..

[inner_strength_]

I'm really hard on myself and feel like not doing things I've needed to, I’ve put so much more pressure on myself even though it has been due to mental health. Tried/try to also give my mind a break as it’s exhausted from overthinking just like if my body was exhausted from overexercising .. but the inner conflict is persistent and tend to have guilt for taking further time to do what needs doing. Also on the other hand, try and tell myself to be selfish and do what I’ve needed to do to feel accomplished and strong. Have a difficult time with moving on

Avoided typing this out for a while as these shit situations can put a downer on people. If that’s the case, please
remember this is temporary in some respects and things can be good again. Appreciate any advice of getting out of this even though it does come down to me. Sometimes, feel like I’m continually overthinking most things and continually critical. Definitely trying to look toward the other projects in the future to make me feel/ believe that I’m able to be and feel accomplished.
May just post this on the Depression thread instead?..Hope you are well and keeping on!Thanks.

inner strength.

[Lonelydan]

Hi, In strength, Please don't ever think you're dampening anything here. I like your ability to express yourself I think it's a positive thing. Thank you for your advice for my bestie I love her so much I meet her in 1989 we were 15 living on the streets. We took care of each other she was the best shop lifter in the world we'd walk into a supermarket her being a b cup and leave a double d cup sometimes maybe looking like she was in her third trimester. We used to make ourselves look like we were diseased and ugly so the maggots wouldn't get us and be made to be a teenaged prostitute you don't want to be a pretty little thing out there so many memories only wish I had photos I have no pictures of me at all only after 17. I went to see my friends ex yesterday and explained a few things that could possibly happen to her in the future the good news is my friend will now get 60% from the sale of their home. This should be enough for my friend to buy a modest apartment in Sydney west subs were I am so I'm happy about that. Achievement is such funny thing I've always found success only breeds a new goal never ending cycles it go on and on and on never ends until you hope off the merry go round. Danny...

[MsPurple]

HI inner strength

Yes I do feel religious guilt (well more fear) about my sexuality. Since I'm not in a long term relationship I feel like I am still 'in the clear' (so to speak) but I still feel it. It doesn't make sense because to me I don't think if other same sex couples date, get married, have sex etc. I don't think it is a sin. I don't understand how love can be a sin? Maybe back in BC men used to rape men and women rape women? Or maybe they did it out of hate? I honestly don't know. But I do also believe that us as humans have evolved over time and biology etc have allowed us to be of different sexuality, races etc. So I think know it is not a sin now at least. Back in BC I don't know. Does that make sense? The only way I can accept it to be a sin is if it is done out of hate (like rape or something that terrible) but I still struggle to think every same sex sexual partner back then did it out of hate. That is the only way in my head how I can justify how in some time it used to be sinful. I think God is love and same sex couples are showing love. So why would God condemn someone showing love to hell? I don't get it. I also don't get why I don't belief it is a sin yet why I am sill fearful this could send me to hell. In all honest I am not hugely religious ( I went through a phase when I was 14. Very religious and anxious about going to hell. Still a little anxious about the after life but before it was crippling and I was kinda in a cult like church). Yet I still have these contradicting thoughts. I think I should talk to my psychologist about it next time I see them.

I think his is a bigger barrier for me then I thought. I think this could be holding me back in dating in general whether it is with a guy or girl. I feel like no matter who I am with I may go to hell? Or that I maybe tarnished or something. It's so silly cause if another bisexual said that to me I wouldn't agree with them, yet for me I think differently. Funny how anxiety can make us feel about ourselves. Questioning everything and having contradiction thoughts.

Sorry I know I ranted but sometimes I think it is good to put this stuff down because I know a lot of others maybe able to relate to this.

[MsPurple]

Usually, I’ll postpone what needs doing, dwell on things that means not
letting go of past disappointment and dwelling on the negative

Yes inner strength I do have this as well. I feel it all the time. I struggle to sometimes start things as I remember the time I did something similar and it may not have been as good as I would have liked. I sometimes struggle to move forward because I have trouble letting go of the past. I think with anxiety we always think work case scenario. Back in cave men days this helped us survive. If we just ran into the bushes to attack a monkey we might die. If we think of the worst case sernario (in that monkey case dying) we may avoid ranning into the bushes to kill the monkey and instead make a net trap. Does that make sense? But as we have evolved as a race our brain and thought patterns may not have evolved so quickly so we know struggle to deal with something that used to be helpful but is now counterproductive. Osher said something about his on his podcast anyways and I found it helpful

[nixy360]

Hi guys,

I'm new, so I thought I would introduce myself 🙂 I'm a gay transman who suffers from bipolar 1 disorder. I have been in hospital for the last month receiving rTMS therapy for my depression and I think it's going pretty well 🙂 Only 5 more sessions to go!

In about 6 weeks I am going in to surgery to have a hysterectomy, which I am both excited and scared about! I'm currently trying to lose pretty much as much weight as I can (with help from a dietician) before surgery... which is not so fun!

I live in a rural town so I don't know too many other LGBTI+ people, so am hoping to make some online friends 🙂

[MsPurple]

Hi Nixy and welcome to the forums and the rainbow cafe 🙂

I have to say the dog in your picture is gorgeous. So cute! What's its name?

I am glad your treatment is going well. I know it can be nerve racking going in for an operation, but the doctors will look after you and you'll do just fine. It will be a relief to get it over and done with. With the weight loss before surgery I would try follow the dietitians advice as best you can. It will become easier post surgery when you an go to a more maintenance phase or maybe a less intense phase of weight loss.

I came from a rural town and the LGBT community wasn't too big there either. I only knew a handful of gay people in general, and I wasn't really close with any of them. None of my close friends were part of the community which statistically is kinda surprising if you think about it (1 in 10 i think they say it is)

Welcome to the cafe and I am looking forward to getting to know you more here at the cafe and on the forums 🙂

MP

[nixy360]

Thanks for your reply MP.

The dog in my picture's name is Sunny 🙂 He is actually my Mum's dog, but I live close by so see him often. He is a 6 year old Maltalier (Maltese x King Charles cavalier). I'm a sucker for spoiling him! He can always tell when someone is depressed/unwell, and he gets very snuggly. Although he misbehaves quite often, he's a very loyal dog. He definitely has his own personality! When I get out of hospital I am going to make more of an effort to make sure he gets walked everyday.

I'm not really close to anyone in the LGBTI community either. I have joined a gender support group which meets once a month. Apart from the gender and sexuality side, I don't have much in common with them though. However, they are definitely very supportive 🙂

looking forward to getting to know everyone at the rainbow cafe 🙂

[MsPurple]

Naw Sunny, that's a cute dog name. Well I live in an apartment with a housemate so I don't have any pets living with me but I still count all my family pets kinda as my own. My mum got me a dog for xmas nearly 10 years ago. We got another one around the same time. SO my mum lives in NSW with two maltese shitzus boys called Sammy and Brian (ok that's what we were told they were but we think they are mutts or not pure maltese shitzus, which is ok by us because they are so longing). My brother lives in VIC and he has a whippet called Betty. My dad lives the closest to me in QLD (40 mins drive) and he has a cavoodle named Max. I love all the dogs. At one stage me mum and my brother were under the same roof and had 3 dogs living together. So many dogs but I loved it 🙂 Miss having one at home but don't think it is fair to have a dog in a small apartment. I think Sunny would love to get walked every day. I wanted to take Max on a walk today but it was horrible outside

I have never been to an LGBT support group. I don't even know if they have any in Brisbane, although I assume they would. I should really look into it