The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[Lonelydan]

Hi Alec, you're that rare minority in the gay world that wants love/ relationship. In the heterosexual world women give sex to get love a man give love to get sex so where does that leave the homosexuals. We have poor relationship skills nothing is taught everything is underdeveloped. I think a lot of relationships can start from a casual encounter men with no afflictions can have high sex drives and the grass will always be greener. There's not a lot of love stories to be told in the gay world most relationships are short we are a bruised people who are still fighting for our rights to exist in this horrible world. Danny...

[Lonelydan]

Hi inner strength, I'm so sorry for my late reply the last couple of days I've been feeling mentally unwell somedays it just creeps up on you climbed on my back sits on my shoulders and I can't get it off me. But today I'm feeling a little better. Where does one start with prejudiced and all the other STUFF!!! My friend had a child with her partner together 6yrs a perfect beautiful baby girl once the baby was born my friends partner changed her mind and doesn't want to be a mother and now has said biologically it's not my child and is not going to assist financially and wants to sell there house leaving my friend homeless and unable to afford Sydney rents. There's no protection like in heterosexual relationships which has laws regarding a marriage and divorce settlement Financial support gay Gay marriage really needs to be legalised desperately. Danny...

[Raynor]

Sara, this:

Growing up, actually from about 7 or 8 yrs old, I imagined myself as being strong and heroic like TV characters (mainly men)

was me too! Only mine were mostly book characters, until I discovered my dad watched star trek late at night. And then later at some point I switched to inanimate objects. But yeah, I lived my whole childhood as fictional characters.

[Just Sara]

Hi Rayne, Danny, MsP, Essen, Eyes, Rob and our new Alec;

Wanting to be a hero as Rayne and I have chatted about, is a common theme among survivors of abuse and trauma but it's being a hero to ourselves that has lasting effects.

I've been trying to save people for as long as I remember, so I think it's important to concentrate on saving myself; it's not before time.

It's for this reason I'm taking a short sabbatical to reboot and recharge. Life requires it sometimes and this opportunity's in line with a fresh start and overhaul.

I love you all and you're surely precious to my journey and continuing self care; you'll be missed.

I'll return with a new sense of self and wonder, so keep on keeping on being your beautiful selves ok.

Take care of you first...

Love Sara xoxo

[MsPurple]

Sara we all need time to reboot. You will be missed but will be glad to see you back in no time feeling all refreshed.

Alec welcome to the the rainbow cafe. I know exactly what you mean about struggling to date in this community. I think I replied on another post you were in. I don't really know how to online date. I don't know how to date. I haven't gone on a real one in ages. Yes I've gone on some but they didn't seem genuine. I kinda wish I was my current age 10 years ago before online dating became huge. Before iPhone was big. I just wanna meet someone in person. Yes I love my phone and how we are connected, but I think I would have liked to of found someone before it. Does that make sense?

Dan I completely agree about the whole same sex having a child situation. I know some people adopt their newborn kid if it isn't biologically theirs. I have also heard to people getting into registered defacto relationships so I assume if one has a kid that would make them accountable? not sure because I know step parents can walk away without child support so probably the same thing.

[Raynor]

take care of you sara

[Lonelydan]

Sara it's so beautiful you're putting yourself first. Take care of you, pamper yourself give yourself permission to do whatever you please turn off the clock. Be free you require nobody's permission. Danny... xx

[inner_strength_]

Hi MsP

Thank you, you too! That’s incredible that you’ve accepted your sexuality as it can be really hard!

Oh definitely, there is always more to figure out about ourselves
Haha! Yes, Agree with you there. It is no where near easy and we should give ourselves a break about it (because we all go through our own shit about it) as it almost feels the more common opening up/coming out now is as varying sexualities (which is amazing!) ... the trickier it is in some respects to be considered to need support as it appears to the hetero community/people that support is all around because a larger
number of people appear as they are no longer straight. Poor heteros! Haha. But yeah, it is not easy, even though the representation is rising .. still with bisexuals getting a bad rap.. every individual in their coming out process needs time to ‘deal with’ or ‘come out’ as who they are comfortable as and we don’t
just come out once!. It does feel like it is a little too polished online and you don’t always get a lot of the real
deal. Do you not have supportive people in your life? They can be hard to find. Here for you! Do understand that that a lot of the hesistation is, if people decide in 5 years they are gay and not bi that people won’t believe them or give them a hard time or not support them.

Coming out and sexuality for me wasn’t easy in the sense that I’ve struggled with the catholic guilt and suppressing thoughts, actions and dreams of when I was young and not wanting to make a connection or not knowing about it due to always knowing ‘I’d need to marry a man’.

Have you or someone reading this experienced the conflict between sexuality and religion? Haha get what you mean.

Definitely don’t feel a sense of community much anymore as I’d use to, however, do feel a sense of ego and attitudes and competition. Also, basing alot on appearance so it feels to me, like you have to fight your way in and prove yourself as ‘gay’ or bi enough etc.

[inner_strength_]

Well, okay. What I’d term community to me would be I’m apart of the wider sense of community because of my sexuality but don’t necessarily feel apart of it physically in terms of connections as much as I’d done.

Feel as though I’m not sure what the community entails either as when I’d been ‘apart of it’ it was drinking and
getting together. I’d always been a bit more thinking for myself and not following the crowd and it got old for me. That, yes, we would go to house parties together, sometimes meet through the day but one way or another we would end up involving alcohol. It wasn’t all dull, had some incredible nights out and gatherings. Just wanted more.

Yes, ha, that would be nice to meet up and do things that aren’t just social drinks. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with that obviously. Just want more from a friendship. Kind of glad we (myself and partner) steered a little or a lot away from the ‘community’ because of the drinking, drama and always knowing someone connected to the other ha! Again, not all that bad.

I’d really like to meet older lesbians and other members of the community in other settings in which we could socialise, have a day out, go on a road trip. Really just want to make new and open-minded friends. Working
on myself to get more involved in interests that’d lead to friendships

Really feel for the bisexuals of the ‘community’ as I’ve said, do feel you guys have it harder in some ways!

Maybe there is a community that someone can tell us about? Ha!

In regards to the community and friends. I’d not had the confidence many years ago to be okay telling my friends at the time.. did tell some.. I’d questioned myself too much and really drifted away. Feel disheartened
but since then, have gained a stronger me and a better understanding of myself.

Going with the flow really is the best way. I’m definitely the same...honestly have struggled for a while with mental health holding myself and my partner back from socialising… really feel like we need a new group of friends.

Ha. Will try and work on shorter responses. There is so much for me to type that I’ve needed to edit myself a number of times. Ha. Think this will have to do! Hope it makes sense!

[inner_strength_]

Just Sara! shout-out to you too! Take care of yourself, yes please stop being selfless and be selfish (who cares!) Need to take care of ourselves before others x