The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[MsPurple]

Hi everyone. Thank you all for your kind words regarding my last post. You are all such beautiful people.

Innerstrength welcome to the forums. It is lovely to meet you 🙂 As you know I am a bisexual woman still in the discovery stage. I have accepted my sexuality but still figuring it out as I go alone. It is still a relatively new concept. Sometimes I think the internet (such as youtube) make is sound really easy. Come out to yourself (or publicly or to close friends etc.) then all of a sudden you are in and you meet a gay person and go from there. Whether you date or just friends they bring you into the community. I know people who identify as bisexual but aren't really a huge member, meaning they don't have many connections. I guess i don't fully know what being a part of the community intales. Do you meet up or what. Yes sounds silly but I just had these thoughts and figured I may as well type them so others who think this also know they are not alone. 🙂 At this point in time I am just going with the flow and open to love and friendship in any form and for me this is ok 🙂

Hope everyone is well. I've been a bit stressed with work and not getting enough of it but trying to remain positive that it will pick up

[Just Sara]

Hey Rayne!

I'm mid NSW in the shadow of a small mountain. Night before last it was -4 and -1 at 8:30am. Yesterday our top was 8 degrees.

At present it's a cloudy 6 degree's and 1pm. The coldest I've lived thru was -6 living in a caravan. Outside it looked like a Winter wonderland with dim night lights sparkling off the frost.

I'm thinking this yr will bring temperatures plummeting to new lows. We'll see...

Hope you're travelling well hun, will be sending my confidence your way on the 6th. Best of luck!

Hey MsP;

I'm sorry to hear things aren't going that well in your neck of the woods. In saying this though, you seem to be dealing with it ok; this I'm glad of. Sending a big hug your way hun...

The whole sexuality label thing is a constant on this thread isn't it? So is finding our soul mate among the right social habitats. I figure, when I meet the right person, I'll know. Just as I have in the past, only with more insight and self protection/promotion in my sights.

I've gotten over my desperation to find a partner to live out my life with, it caused me so much anguish. I'm more settled now.

You're where I was 30 yrs ago only with more resolve, insight and support. At your age, I kept being drawn to straight women which got me into some dicey situations. It did with men too, but that's for another thread.

I was propositioned once by a girl in an elevator, although she was lovely and I was very tempted, I was drunk and had to meet up with friends so I declined. You can never catch up on the one you missed out on eh? Ah ha ha

Ah...the good ole days! He he

Big shout-out to Danny, Eyes, Essen and Rob.

Love to all...

Sara xo

[MsPurple]

Thanks Sara for the hug 🙂

I also should admit I do have a bad 'gaydar' as some call it. But at the same time its not the first thing I think about when I meet someone. I more think, 'they seem nice', 'I like her dress', 'wow he is tall' etc.

Did anyone watch the State of Origins game? I had a delema. I now live in QLD. Moved here in October 2016. I also lived in NSW from 2014-2015. I was born in NSW too. So I kinda felt connected to both. I went for NSW because I've always gone from them but did feel a bit of guilt. Haha. I did choose sides before hand :). Jarrod Hayne is back 🙂

[Just Sara]

OMG MsP!

NSW or QLD? Men or women? You got it bad hun!! Ah ha ha

I had to say it ok!!

Sara xo

[Raynor]

MsPurple, I didn't watch State of Origin but I totally get interstate conflict re sport. I grew up in NSW then discovered AFL was a thing in the decade that I lived in WA and am now in Vic. I've basically worked out a hierarchy of teams depending on who is playing but it's definitely a conflict!

More seriously, certain things in the media are making me crazy today but anything I would say about it would definitely not be 'social'. I wish we had more than one thread here.

[MsPurple]

I know right!! haha both are good 🙂

[Just Sara]

Morning everyone!

I'm up with sparrow fart today which is unusual for me. It's -2 btw. Yes my daily weather report. lol

MsP I'm glad you see the funny side of your comments. I struggle with decisions sometimes too, actually with most things these days opposed to Sara BC (before crisis)

My last anxiety episode was due to 3 appt's in one day and my sister popped in to visit. What to do; what to do; what to do!!! I cancelled all appt's then anxiety rose because my sister was watching me go thru it. Sigh...

I look at my Avatar sometimes wishing I could be like her; mainly admiring her physical strength and physique. Yes, it's masculine, but she carries it well.

Growing up, actually from about 7 or 8 yrs old, I imagined myself as being strong and heroic like TV characters (mainly men) It wasn't until recently I understood it; living in a chaotic and volatile home not knowing where or when threats of danger were coming. Saving my sisters was at the core.

When my son was born, my focus changed to saving him after his infancy sexual abuse. As a single mum, I was mother and father with all the responsibilities ta-boot.

26 yrs later and coming out as bi, I tried to sort out if my gender and sexual identity issues were more about nurture than nature. Yeah, a lifetime saga of biblical proportion.

My last sexual encounter with a woman put me off women thru fear of making the same mistake again; same with men. Physical, sexual and emotional abuse has a lasting impact that confuses and defeats.

Bloody hell!! How morbid for this time of the morning. I guess what I'm saying, is that in my mind - curiosity kills the cat; best to stay away from both.

I needed to write this today. I hope it makes sense and didn't annoy anyone too much with my purging; there is a moral.

PTSD has its grip on so many aspects of my life especially decision making, I'm beginning to understand the big picture. Luckily my comprehension of complex concepts is good, so insight into my [triggered] reactions is growing.

It's not perfect, but I'm learning.

Thanks for listening...love ya's!

Sara xo

[Alec92]

Hi I'm Alec, here is my storyI've given these dating apps a good try: I've been on them intermittently for a year and a half or so and things were just not happening for me! I was mostly ignored and came away feeling annoyed and frustrated. I did my best to relate to others and tried to find a connection with someone, but I felt as though I was wasting my time because my effort and enthusiasm was not reciprocated.I initiated communication and sent people messages but I often got nothing back in return. Other times I received delayed replies that were very short or two words long, which provided me with very little information about them to build on to keep the conversation going. So therefore the interaction back and forth between me and the other person would fizzle out very quickly. Often the other person would disappear completely after the third or fourth message was exchanged.Conversation felt very one-sided most of the time because no one reached out to me first. When I stopped doing all of the initiating, I would never hear back from the other person again! I showed a genuine interest in others by asking them thoughtful questions about themselves, but few ever asked me questions about myself. When I did share things about myself, few asked me follow-up questions.Regardless of where I met other gay men: many I encountered were heavily into the clubbing scene, did party drugs, slept around and were only after hook-ups and/ or casual sex. I found all of this very frustrating and disappointing because I wanted a relationship/ decent boyfriend that would be my partner and my friend! I was left feeling in despair!All things considered, I find the whole process of online dating apps to be infuriating and unfulfilling. I consider the gay scene extremely difficult to navigate and it was a lonely experience for me.

[Just Sara]

Hey Alec!

Welcome to BeyondBlue's caring community and our Rainbow Café.

It seems you've had your share of the online dating scene right up to 'here' yeah? Me too hun...

I wasn't going to post, but I wanted you to know you're heard and validated ok?

We so hear you! A lot of us have been thru similar experiences, you're not alone! Hopefully tomorrow will have more members online to talk with you; Friday night can be slow.

If you want to continue posting here, that's fine, or have a look around the threads/sections to see if there's discussions you might like to contribute to. Talk soon...

Take care; warm thoughts...

Sara

[Lonelydan]

Hi Sara, I've had one of those days to,it's so strange how you can feel so good then so bad. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing but my medication has ended my sex drive. I don't think it's possible for me to have another relationship. No one want to here from someone they love that your touch can cause my body so much pain. Even if you do meet someone and it gets serious then you have to explain yourself the sexual assault last and lasts all the showering I've done I'm surprised there's still water left there's just to many triggers with intimacy I'm unable to have anyone close to me. The child knows nothing about my past I've never wanted her to look at me that way when someone finds out or worried. She knows little about her mother or my parents other than they're horrible violent and not safe to be around. I know I've done a excellent job raising her and I know you're a mother worth your weight to Sara. Life is so unfair some get everything some nothing and them some don't even get nothing they get a life that's unspeakable and that's me unspeakable. Danny...