Rock Bottom

[willdoanythingtohelp]

Feeling extremely despondent and secular at this point in time. I suffer from Clinical Depression, Anxiety and PTSD.

I have been loyal to my workplace for nearly 8 years now but after suffering a back injury some 12 weeks ago ( pre-existing condition ) I have been subject to animosity and ridicule on all levels of management (which I am a part of). I have weekly appointments with Physio, Doctors and Psychologist at this point.

I just can't seem to snap out of my dark mood at the moment and feel that I am getting closer to self harm every day now and it frightens me beyond belief.

I feel that I have everything to live for but have nothing in life. I suffer chronic pain every day along with chest pains, shortness of breath, headaches, night terrors and sleeplessness along with chronic fatigue and no motivation.

I have explained to work that I am not about making a claim but just want to return to work so I can at very least wake up with a purpose each day, but this falls on deaf ears as I believe I am being managed out.

I just wonder what my future holds and this impacts further on my psycho social well being.

I am at a loss as to where to go from here.

Please everyone KEEP SMILING 😀

Regards

Bill

[Sophie_M]

Hi willdoanythingtohelp,

Thank you for posting to the forum tonight. We're sorry to hear that you're having trouble snapping out of your current dark mood, and that you've been feeling in danger to yourself - fearing that you are getting closer to self harm every day (and how scared this is making you feel).

Chronic pain, clinical depression, PTSD and all of the other issues you're struggling with are no little matter. However, sometimes we can find it harder to cope than other times. 

With your current injury, this could be a trigger for you, creating feelings of vulnerability on top of every thing else - and lets face it, chronic pain can most certainly wear down even the strongest amongst us.

Willdoanythingtohelp, you are strong, you are a warrior. Please keep on going, you're doing a lot of the things you need to do - now you need to give yourself the time and space, and compassion that you extend to others. Healing is an ongoing process.

Please don't hesitate to contact us at any time. We have trained counsellors available 24/7 (phone 1300 22 4636, or online chat if you prefer texting to phone here). It's confidential and non-judgemental. 

If you feel in danger at any time, please don't hesitate to call your mental health triage, or go to your nearest hospital emergency department for care.

We hope to hear from you soon,

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Petal22]

Hi Bill,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand that having management treating you the way they are would be hard.

Bullying is never ok…. Can your go higher up the chain to report the way you are being treated?

If you are being managed out I believe this is appalling by the company you work for.

Can I ask if you are currently seeing a health professional regarding your dark moods? 

You don’t have to deal with this on your own there are health professionals who can help you manage this.

[geoff]

Hello Bill, I'm very sorry you are feeling like this and whether your injury was or wasn't from your workplace does make a considerable difference, however, if you are being picked on and trying to be pushed out, makes this situation one that needs to be reported.

What you are suffering from is quite chronic and may have an association from your work, which also needs to be reported to a lawyer, as everything that has been going on should be documented.

They will need to decide whether your psychology and psychio appointments should be paid by your work rather than you having to pay for them.

Can I suggest you have blood tests, if not already, blood pressure etc to see if there are any abnormalities which medication may help you.

Your doctor may allow you some time off work, this would depend on whether you believe they are trying to push you out first, so please consult a lawyer first.

Geoff.

Life Member.