Mother's Day 2015

[Doolhof]

Hi everyone. Mother's Day can mean so many things to different people. I am wondering how you all think about Mother's Day?

Do you have a close relationship with your Mum, Nana, Grandma, Mother in law, Aunty or a lady in your life who is like a Mother to you?

If you are a Mum, how do you feel about that role in your life? If you have never been a Mum due to choice or circumstances, how does that make you feel?

For me, Mother's Day can be a sad and lonely time, and at the same time I can celebrate with my Mum and my Mother in law.

Am I a Mum? Yes and no. I have been pregnant 5 times but have no live children.

I have a Mum whom I try so hard to love and care for but who also has mental health issues so the relationship is often strained and hard to live with at times. It seems often that Mum is not aware of how much pain she causes people. But she is still my Mum.

So are you looking forward to Mother's Day or are you dreading it?

If it is the latter, then try to come up with things you can do now to ensure you do not feel too much sadness, regret, misery and pain on Mother's Day.

We will be catching up with my Mother in law this year and I will phone my Mum as she lives too far away for me to visit unless I stay over night. I will be thinking of my babies with lots of love and may mark the day with flowers for myself, or I may light some candles.

I will leave this for now and see what replies I receive.

Cheerio for now, from Mrs. Dools,   Lauren

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

Hope you managed to stay warm and that you had a wonderful weekend away.

I've kept quite busy over the weekend and have managed to achieve quite a lot including finally washing the windows, so I am pleased with that.

I'm off to the pool in the morning for a bit of exercise so that will help to keep these old bones moving. Ha. Ha.

I had a wonderful pummelling on the weekend by an Asian guy at one of those delightful massage places set up in shopping centres. I thought I would scream out in pain at any moment but managed to hold it in. Ha. Ha.

That would have given him quite a freight I think if I had yelled out!

A client was telling me he was having a massage and was in so much pain at one point that he did yell out and fell off the bed! Oh dear!

Hope all is well with you. 

Cheerio from Lauren

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

Thanks for all your well wishes. I had an excellent weekend away and was kept warm mostly by my friend's air-conditioning! lol

I was very pleased that both my teams won in their respective sports, Australia in the cricket and my footy team. I went to the movies and saw "Paper Towns" , a film about teenagers growing up. I liked it, it was quite entertaining. I also bought a few movies, one called "Unbroken" which was a true story to do with "the resilient power of the human spirit". I immediately thought of everyone  here at Beyond Blue!

 I went on some long walks through suburbia, ate out at a few restaurants and socialized a bit. I also listened to my favourite music right now, an album by The Fall.

Maybe the movie you forgot was "Pulp Fiction". It was probably Tarantino's best known film. I was very enthusiastic over some of it but just didn't like other parts, the word "gross" came to mind. haha!

Good luck with the mental health plan! All your labours deserve some reward!

And keep on biting that butt! such imagery! lol. Anything to push that black dog away!

That must be nice having your own garden. I imagine it would be very peaceful sitting there looking at the chooks milling about checking out the different plants etc. Where I live there is no backyard or garden and I miss that freedom. But my place makes up for it in privacy and security.

It is sad to hear of the lack of contact from the CFS and the Church and also a bit surprising as you would think they would be there to lend a helping hand. Not to worry, be strong, at least at Beyond Blue there are people that care. As you say "suck it all up" and look out for yourself and make tomorrow a good day.

 So, your weekend ended up pretty good? Did you go for your relaxing walk in the bush?

Swimming is such a good way to exercise. Even if you do have old bones lol. And what's better for those old bones than a good massage! I've been on the pain threshold before Haha! I remember one time in particular. I was receiving a REAL pummeling, the guy was using the point of his elbows! Anyway, I nearly yelled out stop but managed to contain myself even though I was squirming about. lol.

To my amazement, when he had finished I wasn't sore at all, the perfect massage! lol. And then I shook his hand as if we had been through something BIG together! Ha ha!

Well, it's time I made some lunch. Then, off for a long walk, must lose some weight! lol.

Take good care of yourself, Lauren,

Bye for now

TMB

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

Just a brief message to say hello and to wish you well. Hope you're traveling ok, keeping that Black Dog at bay!

Take Care and all the Best.

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

That blasted black dog rounded up some of his mates and they all sat on me, squashing the last of the fight out of me!

I went to the Dr to have my mental health care plan up dated and ended up in hospital for the week instead! The food was good and I could watch what ever I liked on T.V. as I had a room to myself. No dishes, no cleaning. no housework and no husband as he decided to tick off to Melbourne while I was in hospital.

Unfortunately there was no help offered regarding my mental health issues, just an opportunity for respite. The Wednesday scheduled Psychiatrist appointment has been changed to Monday, so I am really hoping that is not cancelled.

My Dr has put me on some new medication so hopefully this will work okay. He said he didn't think I could wait until the psychiatrist suggested something.

These new tablets have me feeling a bit like I have been on the booze. I was out in the garden and felt like I was about to topple over all of the time. We have a little bank/hill with a garden on it, so I weeded that, so I had less distance to fall. It was lovely to be out in the fresh air.

So your team won the footy and the Aussie's won the cricket! Excellent. I have seen a little of the cricket. We have also been watching some of the Tour de France cycle race. Those guys are so super fit!

We are attending a friend's 50th Birthday tomorrow, I have told my husband we will go for a while and I will let him know if I have to leave early. I'm looking forward to helping my girlfriend celebrate her birthday. She came to visit me in hospital which was so lovely of her.

Today we caught up on some of The Voice Battles. Some of those people are so talented!

I'm hoping for a walk tomorrow so will see what happens. Even if I just wander up the road from our place and back that will be good.

I've just put a Meatloaf CD in my car so will be looking forward to listening to that next week while I am driving around. Ha. Ha.

Hope you are keeping well yourself,

Cheers for now from Lauren

One of my clients phoned me on my mobile ph. while I was in hospital. She said she knew I was in hospital but was it possible for me to take her around a dozen of our chooks eggs please! I told her that was not possible so she asked if my husband could do so and I had to tell her he was not around. Oh dear!

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

I hope you're not racing around like a bat out of hell! Haha! Delivering eggs to people no doubt! lol.

Seriously, it was really good to hear from you. I was getting a bit worried by your prolonged absence. So you made it to hospital for a well earned rest. I hope it was timely for you, yes, the good food and lack of responsibility can be very beneficial to you. When you're sick it's not a bad place to be, so they say.

Hopefully, your scheduled appointment with the psychiatrist goes ahead as planned. Best of luck with it.

Good to hear you were out in the fresh air too, it would've been a change from the confines of the hospital. You are a busy beaver, weeding and such.

So you're on new medication. Gee, I hope that kicks in for you real soon. And you're feeling a little woozy and unsteady on your feet! I have experienced similar before (when drinking lol.) In my case it was low blood pressure from the medication.

Damn black dog(s), what will they think of next? Hopefully, with what's going on now for you, you can get rid of them for a change. Chain them up and throw away the key!

My footy team plays again tonight, so keep your fingers crossed. And the cricket resumes next Wednesday. Have watched a tiny bit of the Tour de France, I saw a few crashes! and cyclists getting up to go again! Gutsy!

Here's hoping your friend's 50th birthday goes well. That sounds good that you can leave if need be and I'm sure you'll help her to celebrate! How kind of her to visit you in hospital. I imagine that gave you a big lift!

Yeah, I have been watching The Voice pretty regularly too. It's a good show. I find it entertaining, watching the contestants AND coaches perform. Yes there are some very talented people but not as many as last year, I don't think.

Good luck with your walk tomorrow, hope you enjoy it! Take it easy! I have started going for walks again just lately, they certainly pick you up, overall and you get to see outside! haha.

I am going ok, have a good weekend planned. Friday, I had home-delivered Thai food for tea, Then watched the footy for 4 hours! lol. There were 2 games on. Saturday, on the computer, the grocery shopping then a walk then a movie? Sunday the markets are on again so am looking out for Dvds and any other bargains I can find. Then in the afternoon, more footy, The Voice and maybe 60 minutes.

I am keeping the Black Dog sort of at bay, at present, so wish me well! Taking it day at a time!

Take care and Best of luck with everything.

Bye for now

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

You will never guess what! I was almost attacked by another dog yesterday! This time it was a real one with 4 legs, fur, teeth, and angry bark and all. It is our neighbours dog! I was coming home from my walk and the blasted thing came charging at me like it was about to rip me apart!

The neighbour just yelled at the dog and didn't apologise or anything. I will take an umbrella with me next time for a bit of protection from that beast! They have no front fence so the dog can just charge at people going past.

Apart from that I enjoyed my walk. I saw a huge kangaroo on the track so that was a bit of a thrill. I also managed to pat a couple of goats that came up next to the fence and heard lots of birds.

The guys on dirt bikes racing along the track were a bit of a distraction. I  thought how much fun they were having and wished I was joining them!

I was able to enjoy the birthday party. It was a very low key affair with only a few of us there. We have all been friends for years so every one there knew of my depression and were very supportive and so pleased I was able to make it and stay for the whole evening as well. I felt their love and support and that really gave me a boost.

I hope you are able to keep that darn black dog chained up as well. Sometimes it doesn't take much for it to slip it's leash and sneak up and bite you. A bit like the German Shepherd next door!

The markets you mention sound interesting. We have a food market not far from us that happens every Saturday morning and a craft market every couple of months, but not much else close by.

I'm guessing my husband will be watching the AFL footy, Tour e France, cricket and what ever other sport is on at present for most of the afternoon and evening. I will find some craft to do so I can join him in the lounge room. Along with the cat.

While I was in hospital I had time to read a couple of books I had borrowed from the library the week before on depression/stress/anxiety and took notes. I will re-read them (as I have already forgotten what I read. Ha. Ha.) and will try to put some of the stuff into practise.

I also went crazy and printed out hundreds of photos last weekend from a holiday, so I will organise those in albums today. Hopefully I still have the itinerary somewhere to remember where the photos were taken! Ha. Ha.

Hopefully your weekend is going better than you hoped it would be!

Cheers for now from Lauren

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

These dogs have got it in for you, haven't they! Are you sure the German Shepherd wasn't the black dog in disguise?  It must have frightened you and you were lucky to get away unscathed! I don't think they are allowed (legally) to let dogs roam about like that. I'd take the brolly next time, a big heavy one! lol

Your walk sounded good, animals, and birds about and dirt bike riders speeding around! As you said, it Would've been fun to have had a ride!

Having good friends is so important isn't it. I'm glad the birthday party went well with you getting a real lift from seeing your friends. My friend left for home today after a really good weekend of markets, eating out, footy, my team winning! TV, walks, etc.

I have the black dog chained up but can hear him barking loudly at times. Trying to ignore him but am prepared for battle if need be! That is, I hope I am!

The markets we have are very good. They are on once a month and sell just about anything you can think of, jewelry, CDs, Dvds, Blu rays, clothes, tools, food, books, records, pictures, games, small furniture, trinkets, guitars, toys  etc etc.

I hope your craft-making is going good. I read about your shells in another post. A market devoted to food sounds great too. One would need to have a lot of self control, lol.

I'm a bit of a sportaholic. I love the footy and the cricket, can watch it for hours. You seem to have a lot of interests, particularly craft.

That's good you were able to do some reading while in hospital. Best of luck with the revision. Maybe you can share some pearls of wisdom when you're feeling up to it? Still haven't done it, so far, but I will this week get back into studying my latest screenplay book. Have been on hold for quite a while.

So you went mad printing out photos! I hope the organizing went well and I hope you found your itinerary! Haha!

I got some real treats at the markets. 5 music CD's and 2 movie Dvd's. I saw some action figures that would've been just great for Indra's youngest boy. My friend got a very nice ring and a statuette of a dolphin for a friend. I nearly bought a carved wooden Buddha, as I collect them (sort of). There were even some dog collars, lol.

Watched the "Theory of Everything" last night, the film about Stephen Hawking. I thought it was quite good and very good acting by the leading actor, Eddie Redmayne.

Hope you are feeling better soon,

Good luck with your appointments!

Bye for now,

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

The markets in your area sound excellent. They are certainly a wonderful way to pick up some bargains and I always find it interesting to just have a look around and see what people have on offer.

The food market near us is excellent. Most of it is all local produce and the place is always crowded. It ranges from fruit and veg to honey, breads, chocolates, meats, cheeses, home made sauces and so much more. You can walk a round and have a little feast just tasting stuff. I love the home made fudge!

I had my tele-med hook up with the psychiatrist yesterday, that was a different kind of experience. The mental health nurse stayed in the room with me which I found a little off putting, but at least when I see her later on I won't have to repeat my story to her as well, as she has already heard it! Plus she knew how to operate the "machinery and technology" required so that was probably a good thing she stayed in case something went wrong with the hook up. Ha. Ha.

Yesterday I enjoyed listening to Meatloaf as I was driving around between clients and appointments. Some of his lyrics are amazing. I also enjoyed the passion and power of the music during the songs. It is like a whole story is being told as you are listening.

I'm still finding time to sort out those photos! I have some post cards I bought as well. Problem is I never wrote on the back of them where they were from and some of them are written in languages other than English so I might have to Google them to see where they are from! 

One thing I have learnt through my reading is that I need to forgive more. Myself and others. I suck a lot of stuff up and don't stand up for myself, so that just builds up resentment, which then builds up walls and just makes me angry.

I need to let that stuff go and learn to do more of what feels right for me and bring back more control in my life. I need to find a way to do this that helps me and doesn't hurt others at the same time, so respect is the key.

I'm going to phone the neighbour about their dog! I went to bring the rubbish bin in yesterday and the darn thing came racing along the fence line and out onto the road with its owners screaming at him to come back. The dog has jumped up at me so I don't know if it will actually bite me one day or not.

I've seen "The Theory of Everything", it is an amazing movie and the guy is just amazing. Hope you enjoy your CDs.

Cheers from Lauren

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

Your food market sounds wonderful! I wouldn't mind wandering about having samples of all the food you mentioned and more! I tell you what could be handy, one of those juice extractors so you can make fruit/veg juices. I imagine that would be very healthy for oneself. And you love the home made fudge. I think I've tried that before.

There are other markets around where I live but none as good as the one I go to now. There is a good one in Sydney called Paddy's markets. Have been there a few times.

So glad your tele-med hook up went well even though the mental health nurse was present which would've been a bit off putting. I hope you got it all sorted out with him/her. When I see my psychiatrist, I remember to make sure I go easy on him, lol!

Is the Meatloaf CD called "Bat out of Hell"? If so, it is a great album, I think. Very passionate and powerful! as you say. I can see you bopping along to the music! Now, drive carefully. lol. I know what you mean by terrific lyrics revealing an entire story.

I'm listening to the latest album from the Fall. It is dark and moody and for me, brilliant. The lead singer/writer is Mark E Smith and he must be 60!

Good luck with Googling those postcards. Should be very interesting!

Wow, reading about your needing to forgive more and your building of resentments and anger was just like a page out of my life! I've learned that I need to be TUF i.e. Tolerant, Understanding and Forgiving, and that the more I do this for others, the more I can do it for myself. As you say, you want to help yourself but not hurt others which means that respect for each other, is the answer.

With regards anger, I too say little, sometimes letting resentments build until I become  angry. Much better to assert myself at the appropriate time. Live and learn eh?

Good on you for asserting yourself with regards the neighbour's dog. Can't have it jumping up and biting you!

Well, I finally stirred myself today. I had to go out early for a blood test and it was such a nice sunny day. Anyway, the nurse made a comment about doing some thing with the day, so I decided to get off my butt and go to the beach!

Caught a bus up and walked all along the beach, down to the baths and up to the lighthouse. Checked out the waves, the surrounds, the sand, the surfers. Got some chips and fed the seagulls and soaked up the atmosphere. All in all a very nice  day out. Now I feel pleasantly tired. Tomorrow?

Thanks, I'll be listening to my CD's very soon.

Cheers for now,

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

Chris let me know I had a slip of the fingers and signed off with my real name in my last post. I have disliked my name since I was a kid! It is so old fashioned to me. All the people I know with my name are a generation older than me.

Guess it could have been worse, I could have been called Gertrude! (Apologies to anyone reading this called Gertrude!) Ha. Ha.

Your day sounded excellent. I wish I could just catch a bus to the beach, that would be wonderful. Then again I can't complain, I get to drive around the Barossa Valley every day for work and to a couple of other out lying towns. The scenery is gorgeous.

The seasonal changes are so striking as well. You don't get to notice that so much when you live in a city or even a larger town.

My day didn't go quite to plan yesterday. I was so tired I didn't achieve much. Never mind. I had a nice snooze with the cat on the bed keeping my feet warm and a friend visited for a couple of hours.

Yesterday I had a totally different choice of music playing while driving around. I grabbed a Christian CD with a choir belting out "old time hymns" . Some of the vocals were lovely. A lady at the church I attend plays a harp now and then and that is just so beautiful to listen to.

I have a friend who just listens to classical music and nothing else. I like to have a variety. I usually only listen to what comes on the radio, but have started to listen to some CDs in the car recently. Yes, the Meatloaf I was listening to was "Bat out of Hell". I bought the album as a teenager and had the poster up on my bedroom wall.

Most of the time I just listen to the music and have no idea who the artist is these days. A bit like cars on the road, I have no idea what model or type anything is any more. There are too many around to know the difference. Ha. Ha.

On of my first cars was a white HR Holden. As a teenager I had wanted a hot pink panel van, jacked up at the back, with hot wheels and a noisy muffler. That was in the days before I realised why some guys bought panel vans! Ha. Ha.

I thought it would be excellent to escape in down to the beach for a weekend with a surf board on the roof racks. I never did get the van  and didn't learn how to surf! Guess there is still time! Ha. Ha.

Speaking of time, guess I had best get ready for work. I need to help out a couple of old dears today and deliver some eggs!

Hope you have an excellent day.

Cheers to you, from Lauren