Mother's Day 2015

[Doolhof]

Hi everyone. Mother's Day can mean so many things to different people. I am wondering how you all think about Mother's Day?

Do you have a close relationship with your Mum, Nana, Grandma, Mother in law, Aunty or a lady in your life who is like a Mother to you?

If you are a Mum, how do you feel about that role in your life? If you have never been a Mum due to choice or circumstances, how does that make you feel?

For me, Mother's Day can be a sad and lonely time, and at the same time I can celebrate with my Mum and my Mother in law.

Am I a Mum? Yes and no. I have been pregnant 5 times but have no live children.

I have a Mum whom I try so hard to love and care for but who also has mental health issues so the relationship is often strained and hard to live with at times. It seems often that Mum is not aware of how much pain she causes people. But she is still my Mum.

So are you looking forward to Mother's Day or are you dreading it?

If it is the latter, then try to come up with things you can do now to ensure you do not feel too much sadness, regret, misery and pain on Mother's Day.

We will be catching up with my Mother in law this year and I will phone my Mum as she lives too far away for me to visit unless I stay over night. I will be thinking of my babies with lots of love and may mark the day with flowers for myself, or I may light some candles.

I will leave this for now and see what replies I receive.

Cheerio for now, from Mrs. Dools,   Lauren

[TheSteve]

Happy Mothers Day all of you mums out there. I hope you all get to enjoy it with your families, friends, and people you care about.

Doolhof, thanks for sharing. Although the conditions present at the time did not ripen to bring you a child, you are very much loved here at BB. Not only this, just like a mother you have given love, empathy, care, and guidance to many here. Like a mother, you have changed and impacted lives for the better. For this, I would like to thank you and wish you a wonderful mothers day also.

Steve

[geoff]

dear Lauren, I couldn't possibly imagine the thought of losing each individual pregnancy five times, it must have been horrendous for you, and the support that you needed was perhaps minimal, trying to understand 'why could this happen to me', and then trying to work out why people don't really understand the pain that you are actually going through.

There is nothing that I can ever say to you that will be able to appease your mind from one year to the next, as I sit here pondering what else I can say to you in total sympathy, but I can tell you that you have friends here that truly understand the pain that you will have to face.

My sincere thoughts and warmest condolences are always with you.

(I don't have anyone who I can wish a Happy Mothers Day.) Love Geoff. xx

[Doolhof]

Dear Steve and Geoff,

Thank you so very much for your lovely, kind, thoughtful and encouraging words.

Over the years I have had the wonderful opportunity to love and care for many children. Some have been family members, others the children of friends, and I also worked in a playgroup years ago. I am still in contact with some of the Mums and their children all these years later.

I have been so very blessed in many ways. I have a fantastic relationship with my nieces and they still love to hang out at our home and have Easter Egg hunts even though they are 18 and 22 years old.

Having faith in God, I do believe that I will see my children when I arrive in Heaven, so they are never lost to me forever. They live on in my heart always. One blessing is that they have never been subjected to the pains and hurts of life.

Thank you so much Steve for your very warm and tender words.

Love and hugs to you all from Mrs. Dools,  or Lauren

[TheSteve]

You're a special person Lauren and have positively effected the lives of many. Never lose sight of this, as we won't.

Steve

[Doolhof]

Hey Steve,

Thanks.

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Mrs Dools,

I was very close to my mum, she was a kind and good-hearted person. a great friend. She died suddenly in 2009. Now, I feel a bit sad as Mother's Day approaches, that she is gone, but happy that the tradition continues for others.

You can't replace your mother, of course, but every now and then, I find, you meet people who treat you with similar generosity. And this reminds you of her.

A great Mother's Day to you and all.

from TMB

p.s. I'm travelling ok, hope you are too.

[July]

Hi Mrs Dools,

I am sorry for your losses, and yes you are a mother, you conceived and carried those  little souls until their journey ended so don't doubt that you are a mother, you will be their mother always.

I was blessed to have four children but have also had three miscarriages, I will always remember them, how far I was, when they were due, the heartbreak of never seeing their beautiful faces or feeling the warmth of their body against mine, it never goes away, and I don't want it to go away either, they were part of my journey here in this life .

You don't have to "give birth" to be a mother, mothering is an "act ", of giving love and  care and nurturing  another, to protect and guide ,that to me is a mother.

On mothers day have quiet moment for all the little ones who did not stay on this earth, an acknowledgement of their existence is all we ask for.

My heart feels for you and sometimes this day is painful for people to, it is not always a "happy day" it brings back memories of what could have been , and I hope you have a beautiful peaceful day.

All the best

July

[Doolhof]

Dear July,

Thanks so very much for your very kind words.

I know I have been so very blessed over the years by having so many different children in my life.

Two of our babies were stillborn, one at 20 weeks and the other at 21 weeks. I had each of them in hospital with me for less than 24 hours before they were taken away and sent to a morgue ready for burial.

I treasured those few short hours I was able to hold our babies and look at them. They were so perfect. Not a thing wrong with them only they were born so early and could not survive.

I have special roses in the garden in honour of our children. They will always be in my heart.

Mother's Day! Yes. It can be a bitter sweet time for so many people. A time of memories, good and bad maybe, filled with what ifs and maybe regrets.

I will enjoy my day tomorrow, and will try to make it special for my mother-in-law and will also phone and chat with my Mum.

Thinking of you all, cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

I haven't checked out this thread for a couple of days. I am so sorry to read that your Mum died suddenly and you no longer have her with you.

My Mum is still alive and I do love her even though I find her very hard to understand at times.

During my life I have been blessed with two other ladies who have been like Mum's to me. One died aged about 50 due to a car accident, the other in her late 80s due to cancer. I so loved the older lady so much.

Her name was Jo. When I was having a rough time with my husband it was Jo whose shoulder I cried on and whose home I stayed at. I could talk with Jo about anything. We laughed and cried together. I so miss her.

I will be thinking of you TMB tomorrow as you no doubt think of your Mum.

Love and hugs to you from Mrs. Dools