Mother's Day 2015

[Doolhof]

Hi everyone. Mother's Day can mean so many things to different people. I am wondering how you all think about Mother's Day?

Do you have a close relationship with your Mum, Nana, Grandma, Mother in law, Aunty or a lady in your life who is like a Mother to you?

If you are a Mum, how do you feel about that role in your life? If you have never been a Mum due to choice or circumstances, how does that make you feel?

For me, Mother's Day can be a sad and lonely time, and at the same time I can celebrate with my Mum and my Mother in law.

Am I a Mum? Yes and no. I have been pregnant 5 times but have no live children.

I have a Mum whom I try so hard to love and care for but who also has mental health issues so the relationship is often strained and hard to live with at times. It seems often that Mum is not aware of how much pain she causes people. But she is still my Mum.

So are you looking forward to Mother's Day or are you dreading it?

If it is the latter, then try to come up with things you can do now to ensure you do not feel too much sadness, regret, misery and pain on Mother's Day.

We will be catching up with my Mother in law this year and I will phone my Mum as she lives too far away for me to visit unless I stay over night. I will be thinking of my babies with lots of love and may mark the day with flowers for myself, or I may light some candles.

I will leave this for now and see what replies I receive.

Cheerio for now, from Mrs. Dools,   Lauren

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hey Mrs Dools,

Thanks for your kind words regarding my mini holiday and I'm really glad that our correspondence is helping you as well.

My weekend went very well. I took it nice and easy, went for a drive in the countryside, and a few walks, ate out at some local Asian restaurants and watched a few movies and the rugby league on tv. My team won easily which was great, for me, to see.

I tried submitting several posts via my phone with mixed results. I found it difficult.

I'm sorry you and your husband are sort of "separated". I trust you don't mind me using that term. With biopsies and a car accident, your husband, is he coping alright? Thankfully no-one was hurt in the crash.  I hope his test results come back all clear.

So you were teasing him about the possibility of romance? ha ha!

Gradually coming off your AD's eh. That's not good at all that you were in such pain. And as you say not good for the head.  Are you going to try a new AD? If so, I hope it is relatively side-effects free. Please keep me posted, if you like.

I'm on a sedating AD. It was intended to get rid of panic attacks which it has done but I feel drowsy a fair bit.

I hope you enjoy your trip to Renmark, the river cruise sounds marvelous and so does the boutique brewery. I hope your week off goes well and is a good break for you too even if it is annoying to others.

Well, I'm back home again. I have a trip to the Psychiatrist arranged for Wed. Nothing to worry about, just my 3 monthly check up. I promise I'll go easy on him.lol

I trust you enjoyed your morning walk. I like to go once a day , usually in the afternoon.

Not sleeping too good the last few days. 4-5 hours a night. It's no big deal, I will catch up with it soon.

Will keep my eye out for those canaries!

Bye for now

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

Your weekend sounded great. I'm planning a few outings and drives for my week off as well.

Our canaries are a bit unusual as they have funny looking spiky feathers on their heads. I called the father bird Rod Stewart, so if they come your way, you will certainly recognise them! Ha. Ha.

I have been asking my husband how he is doing and he has been talking a lot, so that is a good thing.

He will be with out a car for two weeks so that will be interesting as we have no public transport any where near where we live. He will have to organise his appointments around my clients. I'm sure we will sort something out.

Our time in Renmark was lovely. I snuggled up next to my husband on the river boat. It was a bit like hugging a tree, as a tree doesn't hug you back, but never mind! He was warmer than a tree.

Hope your appointment on Wednesday goes well. It is good to touch base and see how things are going. I have a great Dr. I can chat with and he knows my husband as well so that kind of helps him understand where I am coming from when I mention life is a little "interesting" at times.

Regarding the medication, I'm not sure what is going to happen. I have to get off this one successfully first. Last time I ended up in hospital for a couple of weeks being rather ill. My dear clients really didn't appreciate that very much nor did a couple of my bosses. Oh well. It happens.

I didn't end up going for a walk my bones and muscles all ached too much. I went to the pool this morning and did some exercises there, that was good.

The term "separated" kind of fits in some ways. We still go places together and act like a couple to the outside world. A bit like an egg really, you have a yolk and a white, they look like they form one thing, but they are totally different.

Tomorrow is a new day with a whole load of new happenings waiting to eventuate!

I hope your day is a good one!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Mrs Dools,

Glad to hear your husband is good and I will keep an eye out for Rod Stewart. lol

I saw my psychiatrist today (Wednesday) and he was interested in Beyond Blue once I told him I was visiting the forums. He had a quick look on his computer and seemed suitably impressed.

We agreed I was doing well and I see him in another 3 months. We get on reasonably well but my inability to express myself fully has made things a bit difficult. By that I mean, I haven't been able to properly describe some of my symptoms to him. He nods and says "Yes" but I don't feel I am getting through to him sometimes.

Maybe I am, and he just doesn't show it. Whatever, it doesn't matter that much as I am nearly fully well now.

That's no good at all that you ended up in hospital last time you went off your anti-depressants. I sincerely hope that this time it is a smooth transition. Don't worry about the bosses and the clients, you take care of yourself!

The pool is a great way to exercise, isn't it?. It's gentle on the body, relaxing and can be strenuous without strain. I used to swim 20 laps of a 50m pool, one at a time ha ha!, at the ocean baths, years ago. I was very fit and healthy.

Thanks for wishing me a good day, I send the same back to you.

Cheers for now

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

It is good the session went well, but it seems you have a few doubts the guy really understands where you are coming from.

Would it be easier next time if you write stuff down? I certainly find it a lot easier to do that than try to explain myself verbally!.

I'm so pleased you feel you are getting on top of your mental health issues! Well done, Congratulations, Excellent work and all the best. The future is yours, you just need to go out and grab it!

I have a quiet little laugh to myself at the pool some days when people who look a lot older than me go swimming massive amounts of laps while I am struggling to do one! Ha. Ha.

One day, there was only myself and a young lady in the whole pool. She started to use the diving boards and invited me to join her. It was hilarious. Talk about belly flops! From Me, not her!

The excellent thing is, the next day my lower back was no where near as sore as it has been for decades! (that goes to show just how old I am when I start talking in decades!) Ha. Ha.

Another time I corrected my neck my walking into a branch. I had a wide brimmed hat on so I did not get sunburnt, but ran into the branch instead. I nearly knocked myself off my feet.

Maybe we could open up our property as a self help health resort! We will just need to repair and fill our pool and install a diving board!

Hope you have a great day.

My brain is doing crazy things coming off this medication! Ha. Ha.

Cheers from Lauren

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

Thanks for your post.

Yes, my session with my psychiatrist did go well in ways but the last day or so has been difficult. I have felt subdued, stressed and very flat, mood wise. I think I have been pushing myself too hard, thinking I can do it all, and have consequently run aground. I don't seem to have a cut off switch for some things, the Beyond Blue forums included!.

Please don't worry about me, I am ok, I just need time out for a while. to recharge the batteries. That's no good you are feeling unstable with you coming off your meds. You take it easy ok? If you don't feel up to responding that's ok too. Just take care of yourself.

You're right, next time I see my psych. I will write my symptoms down. It makes good sense.

Yeah, I have never been too good on the diving board either. Ha ha! Also, I remember when I first started swimming, thinking how do these people do it, lap after lap after lap! I do think it is great exercise though.

Funny you mention it but I have done similar with those rotten branches! Walked into one several months back, not watching where I'm going, lost in thought. Hit it pretty hard too!

Thanks for your praise and encouragement, it is much appreciated.

Take care,

Bye for now

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

I can totally relate to the feeling burnt out bit as I am sure most of the people posting here at Beyond Blue could as well.

Like you mentioned, we just need to find a balance. The last few days coming off this AD I really have felt rotten. It feels like all my muscles and bones are aching big time, my brain is like a marshmallow, and heaps of other lovely stuff!

Medication is great when it works well for you!

When I am soon feeling a lot healthier, I will really appreciate my good health!

For now I am sitting in the garden now and then with the chooks reading a book...me reading, not the chooks. One of the chooks does jump up on my lap now and then to see what I am doing which is kind of cute as long as her feet are not too dirty!

I had wondered with your previous post if you were cruising along okay or not. Hopefully you will be able to cut yourself some slack and do what you need to do to recharge your batteries.

Beyond Blue and myself will be here when you are feeling up to connecting again.

So hope you manage to hang in there okay, and I will be thinking of you wishing you well.

Cheers for now from Lauren

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

I really hope you're finished with those rotten feelings, the muscles and bones aching etc. And I hope your head is back to normal too. I imagine you have had enough of it!

Gee you have your chickens well trained. Are they reading the local "roasts" from Hollywood? HaHa!

Thanks too for your very supportful reply, it was much appreciated. I needed that as I felt a little down on leaving like I did. You're a good friend.

So the good news is my batteries are almost fully charged. I did next to nothing for a couple of days and gradually my strength returned. I was staying on the computer much too long and from now on will be taking it easier. I'm thinking of replying to you every second day instead of every day but I'll see how it goes.

A friend came down to spend the weekend and it was good to have some company. Didn't do a lot, watched my footy team get flogged, it was very depressing, and watched a movie. Spent Saturday at home resting and Sunday we did my grocery shopping then went to JB HiFi for a look.

I ended up getting 3 new blu-rays, including Birdman with Michael Keaton. The film won the Best Picture award at this year's Academy Awards! So it should be good.

I read somewhere that your hubby is all clear healthwise. Fantastic news!

Dined out for lunch today at the local Thai restaurant. I had red curry chicken and my friend had sweet and sour. Delicious.

I also got a CD I ordered, from Hong Kong!! It is from my favourite band, The Fall, can't wait to listen to it. (hope it's ok)

Well, I am all out of news, except for 60 Minutes last night where they have found a cure for paralysis! cells from the inside of the nose are used to grow and repair the spinal cord. It takes years to work but it does. Incredible.

Well, I hope you've come good and life is treating you well.

Cheers for now

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

I feel like I haven't been on the computer for ages. I spent a couple of days totally out of it with shocking migraines. My dear husband took me to the Dr after I asked him if we still had ambulance cover and could he please pass me the phone so I could call them.

Anyway no need for all the health details. I think I need to be spurting blood everywhere for my husband to think there is something half seriously wrong with me. Ha. Ha.

Yes, I will be very happy when "normal" health returns. I have taken the week off work. Not much I can do at present when I can't get my head off the pillow for very long!

Thankfully my husband does not have cancer again, that is so reassuring, thanks for mentioning it.

Regarding being in contact here at Beyond Blue. You will know what suits you and fits in best. I sometimes try to tell myself I will do my stretches first, feed all the creatures and myself, do the dishes or what ever and then have some time catching up with everyone before I head off to work.

Similar deal in the evenings. It depends what my husband is up to as well. When it is a Saturday night and there are three Aussie rules matches on, I may watch one with him then spend some time on the computer. It is all a sense of balance.

Hope you enjoy all of your new purchases. I watched part of a very old movie called "Patch of Blue" last night. The last couple of days I have been more listening to t.v. then actually watching it as my head is still spinning around like I have been on a merry-go-round running at high speed! Ha. Ha.

I needed some fresh air yesterday so sat on a chair while I let the chooks into their short run. I had to keep catching them so they didn't fly over the fence into the 2 acre garden. I certainly had no energy to catch them out there and play chasey under the bushes with them! I don't like to leave them roam alone as we have foxes...darn things.

Ah, life is good. Each day I am getting better. I have lots of plans for things I would like to do on my "healthy" week off in a fortnight and staying in bed all day is now something I don't need to do as I have done that already!

Thanks for the 60 Min story, that is really exciting! Hopefully people will benefit from that soon!

Cheers to you from Lauren

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Lauren,

Glad to see you back in the saddle. Missed seeing you around. Migraines! I've never had one but I've seen in others how bad they can be. You poor thing! And you had to call an ambulance? Far out! Anyway, as you say you've had a good rest and it's marvelous to hear you are improving every day!

A week off work sounds good.

Me, I'm looking for that balance. I just have to face it, I can't do a lot on the computer in one go. I need time out.  I suppose it's the same for most people but my illness makes me feel drained a bit more quickly. I'm not 100% yet.

I guess you may not have heard about the state of origin match on last night. NSW versus Queensland. Qld were favourites but NSW won 26-18! It was an exciting game!

"Patch of Blue" sounds familiar but I can't quite place it.

I have been busy installing a game called Quake that I bought on E-bay from America. It has been quite a challenge but I finally got it up and running in it's full splendour. So, I am like a big kid, blowing things up and running amok.

Saw an interesting show the other night. It was about young offenders serving time in America. They showed how they were rehabilitated while in prison. It was a bit chilling too as some of the boys? were hardened beyond their years.

Asides from the computer, I have been cleaning around the house and watching telly a bit. The landlord came and fixed two lights yesterday so now I can see properly again!

I am feeling better myself the last few days, more relaxed and less cluttered in my mind. Ever so slowly, I'm getting there. Sometimes the anxiety can be quite strong. Just have to accept it.

Am going to see 2 friends tomorrow. We are going to have lunch at a local Chinese restaurant. They make good, wholesome food and give you big portions which I like! lol. Then tomorrow night there is footy on the tv and probably a Dvd to watch.

Want to get back into my studying of screenplays. I have been pretty slack of late, busy with BB. I only have 2 or 3 more books to go then, hopefully, I'll be ready to start my own script. A daunting task but I think I'll enjoy it. Anyway, something to look forward to.

All the best for your "healthy" week off in a fortnight. I hope you enjoy it to the max!

Cheers for now

from TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

You have certainly been up to a few different activities recently. Quake sounds like an excellent game. Maybe I need something like that now and then to help assist with my need to fulfil my adrenalin issues! Ha. Ha.

"A patch of blue" is a movie about an African American guy who befriends a blind girl he finds in a park. It has Sydney Portiere in it (I think) . My brain isn't stretching that far right now. It is time I switch the computer off!

The Chinese meal sounds excellent!

Tonight we are attending a friend's birthday party. His wife and one daughter are involved in a play tonight, so we are going to the hotel first for drinks, then to watch the play while eating pizzas. All sounds like a bit of fun.

I have asked Michael to not consume too much alcohol so he can drive home as I don't think I am up to the almost 2 hour drive home tonight.

Yesterday I had a good appointment with My Dr with my husband present. My Dr. doesn't know what to suggest medication wise as it seems most medication I take now for anything has so many horrid side effects for me.

Even at the dentist, the guy used three lots of local anaesthetic and I could still feel everything he did! I was holding onto the chair so I didn't whack him automatically due to the pain he was inflicting.

I have discussed getting another cat with my husband. I want one that will actually sit on my lap and let me pet it. (Why do we use pet instead of pat anyway? That has always confused me!)

So on my week off, we are going to go and look for a cat. I would have preferred a dog, but my husband hates dogs with a passion, so a cat it will be.

All the best with the screen play books! I do understand how the computer, the games and other distractions get in the way! I know I need to be a bit more disciplined at times and sort out what I really need to do and would like to do and find a balance.

Hope you enjoy your weekend, I will catch up with you again soon. I need to go and feed the chooks, canaries and fish.

Cheerio form Lauren