INFJs

[Graceeeeee]

Hi,

This is a thread for people with the INFJ personality type from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

INFJs are the rarest type out of the 16 personality types from the MBTI. Many INFJs experience anxiety and/or depression due to not fitting in anywhere. INFJ stands for: Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, and Judgement.

I found that I fit the descriptions of this personality type last year (I actually underwent a professional personality testing before that and got the INFJ result but paid no attention to it) when I was doing a research task for school. Ever since then I've been very grateful for finally finding a description that fits how I feel and who I am. Knowing about my personality type has helped me discover more about myself and feel more at ease with who I am.

I've talked to INFJs online and found that a lot of us suffer from one form of mental illness or another. So this is a social space for INFJs needing a place to belong, to talk about things that are hard to talk about, or find out more about this amazing personality type.

But! Notice I said this is a social space--If you are dealing with serious issues at the moment, you should consider seeking professional help, to begin with, you can look up information from the BeyondBlue website. Of course anyone is welcomed to join, but do not rely on this forum to recover from a serious mental illness.

A social space can be anything from lighthearted and fun, to a deep and personal safe space for understanding and support. So when you click into this thread--first things first--remember to not be afraid of being yourself (as a lot of us tend to do)!

Enjoy!!

With Love,

Grace xx

[Graceeeeee]

Hey startingnew,

I would love to give you some links but due to BB policies, we aren't allowed to post links in the forums.

The INFJ website I mentioned is called Introvert Spring, just google it and I'm sure it'll pop up, it's pretty popular.

The INFJ group on Facebook is called INFJs are awesome, there's also another group for introverts called Louder Minds, both are closed groups but just request to join and they'll let you in, hope this helps 🙂

Grace xx

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey Grace,

Don't worry, it was ages ago we may have talked about personalities, in the Café. I hardly visit the Café these days as I just can't keep up, it's too busy in there. Anyway, I wouldn't expect you to remember.

Like you, my friend thrives on deep connections. I think her exhaustion with dealing with people comes largely from meaningless interactions which, unfortunately, are rather more common. Of course being as you're in such a rare group I don't know too many INFJs, but I have greatly enjoyed the company of my friend and getting to know her personality. She is indeed a unique person. Very conflicted about herself, but always willing to learn and focused on finding and using the best in herself. I get a kick out of comparing our intuitive sides, as she is a feeler and I am a thinker - I analyse my way to a conclusion through careful observation and logic, whereas she understands people and their motivations but has no idea where the information came from, it's just her instinct. It's interesting.

I first came across the Myers-Briggs types years ago, it was an amusement that came up for some reason at Mum's church back in the days when she was still dragging me along. It was interesting to me at the time, but I didn't make too much of it. Around two or three years ago I came back to it - don't remember why, I was goofing around online and decided to take a test. Nothing about my type had changed in all that time (close to twenty years). I wasn't surprised at all, I've always been highly inclined toward self-analysis and have thus had a pretty solid sense of identity. What was more interesting to me was the comparison with other types and the ways in which we process information, experiences, senses and emotions. For instance, how did my siblings and I come out so different, given basically the same upbringing? My brother is an INTP like me, my sister an INFP - only one letter different, but vastly different in the reality. We were all isolated in general and shunned at school, yet my brother and I have retained strong self-esteem and my sister's is shattered. The answer is in the personalities, and that is valuable. I now understand her better intellectually (as her perspective is alien to me on an emotional level), and can be of more help. In that way, what I am learning is brilliant.

Blue.

[Graceeeeee]

Hi Blue,

Thanks for sharing 🙂 I've learned a lot too from these personalty descriptions. Still amazes me how accurate the Myers-Briggs personality thing is for most people. And as for siblings who have different personalities--still goes back to the nature vs nurture debate. No body really knows what forms our fascinating personalities. Even twins, who have identical DNA and were brought up the same, can have different personalities.

As for being an INFJ, I do agree that having meaningless conversations drains me. But the sad thing is I desperately need connection, I am always searching for someone to have that deep connection and meaningful conversations with, and to get to that point I have to chat with people to see if they can be my friends, this means an awful lot of small talk and I am so tired of it. I've stopped actively seeking for a best friend, I don't have best friends but only close ones, which is fine most of the time but when I get lonely I don't know who to talk to.

Not easy being an INFJ (it's funny how I just describe myself using 4 letters these days), also not easy being an introvert in this noisy world in general. Have a nice evening, my thoughts are with you.

With Love,

Grace xx

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi Grace,

I admit, I'm likewise impressed by the accuracy of the Myers-Briggs. Of course there will always be room for improvement on anything like that, but it's as comprehensive as anything existing gets. I guess the thing I appreciate about it is that there is such a wealth of information and extensive research that I can clarify anything about it with relative ease, and have found a lot on the subject that simplifies and puts in words things I had an innate understanding of about myself but wasn't quite sure how to explain to others. I was particularly interested in the comparison of INTP and INTJ on the Personality Hacker website, as my other half is an INTJ - we are very, very similar types (and both pretty rare), but on occasion there are things we expect to process in the same way but turn out not to. That comparison has given me a better understanding of why for instance he can deal with things like the idea of shmoozing to get a good job and I can't think of anything more abhorrent.

As for siblings, I definitely subscribe to personality being a mix of nature vs nurture, though I err on the side of nature. A person's experiences will impact more on what aspects of a personality are developed. When it comes to twins, the idea of them being identical is a bit off. Same basic genetic pattern, yes, but even in the womb, different things will be happening. A hormone or chemical or nutrient may pass to one and not the other, for various reasons and there are differences in both physical and mental characteristics. One of my best friends has cystic fibrosis. Her "identical" twin sister doesn't. Pretty big variant for twins, so in light of that, different personalities don't seem unlikely at all.

I think you'll find we all need meaningful connections, and that most of us have some difficulty finding them. Not to mention we all have different ways of going about it. I'm not one for small talk at all, I'll manage it for a minute or two then get bored and wander off, haha. It was my tendency to just say things how I saw them that kicked off my friendship with an INFJ. She liked that she didn't feel like she needed to play social games or put up any pretense. I, in turn, enjoyed the forthright openness she applied to our conversations once she felt she was in a safe space to do so. Observation and intuition were her tools for zeroing in on a new friend, and they worked well for her. Could be the same for you, and save you a lot of icky small talk.

Blue.

[Raine49]

Hi all,

I am actually really new to BB, I think this is my 2nd post ever so I'm still discovering the ins and outs of the forums.
I took the Myer-Briggs personality test quite some time ago, and came out as an INFJ-T. Reading the explanation about the type of person INFJ's are, it was crazy how accurate it was towards things I hadn't even though about before. Things that I hadn't realised that not everyone did.

I also found it very surprising that I was a mix of my parents, they both took the test within the same day, I'm unsure what either of them ended up as, but I was basically a mix of both, with more similarities to my Dad, whom I've always clashed with and thought I had nothing in common with. Turns out it's the other way around.

I've always found personality tests intriguing, but this one really hit the nail on the head.

- Raine

[Fiasco]

I am an INFP too 😄

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome Raine;

I'm with you, this is an interesting topic. Grace hasn't been on this thread for a month, and I don't know if she's still around. I hope so.

I contributed here a while ago, but haven't been back. Sometimes threads get lost among the daily growing list. By you posting, you've bumped this thread up the list so others can see it on the first page. It'll also be on your personal list of threads now too. That's generally how things work, I'm sure you'll get the gist in no time.

Now, I mean no disrespect hun; could you please identify yourself as male or female? This is one aspect of communicating on here that sometimes causes embarrassing moments.

One Community Champ used to write to me in non gender specific ways thinking I was 'probably' male, but in fact I wasn't. We did eventually clear that up, but his embarrassment was evident. That's why I changed my user name to Just Sara.

People's user names and pic's can be very confusing when trying to interpret gender. I try to find words in their posts that might give clues. I'm so sorry to bring this up, but it's better I cringe a little than say the wrong thing.

I hope this hasn't caused you any embarrassment as it's definitely not my intention.

If you see me around the traps, be sure and pop in to say hello. I'd be more than happy to respond as will other really caring people who regularly contribute.

Again; welcome to our forum community.

Warm and kind thoughts;

Sara

[Just Sara]

Hi Grace;

Sorry to hijack your thread hun. I've been chatting with a newbie; I hope you don't mind. I still think it's a great topic.

Sara

[Raine49]

Hi Sara,

Nice to meet you, I'm definitely starting to get the hang of things on here.
Definitely no embarrassment, I can see how it could get confusing.
However, to clarify for you, I am female.

~ Raine

[Just Sara]

Yay!!

Thankyou 🙂 girlfriend! He he...