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End of 2021, Holiday, Humbug, or what?

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello everyone, 😺

It's getting close to 'that time of year', & I'm seeing some mention of it here on BB, so I thought, wonder what people are doing this year? Will this year be the same as always for you, or what? Do you plan anything? Go anywhere? Do you want a grand Xmas / New Year? Or something simple &, whether by yourself, or with others? Will you be around BB over the 'silly season', as much, less or more?

I would like to be hanging around here, greeting people who may be lonely, or feeling the stress of societal expectations around these days, such as we see & hear in the ads, movies, & how people always ask 'what are you doing for xmas?', 'spending time with family?' & astonishment if you are not.

I'm not sure what I'm doing this year, I do like to buy myself something, because I don't expect anyone else will. I get some food I usually don't have (not xmas food), & to make my own special meal. I Know I am mostly doing this because of the societal expectations that 'everyone' does it, & people seem honestly puzzled if I'm not doing anything, because I don't practice any religion, don't have a lot of money to buy gifts, & don't like the commercial crap, or go on holidays, & such, don't even like noisy parties..

maybe I'll be invited to one Xmas lunch, like last year, (while COVID-19 was a little quiet & we could), but it seems I won't have other places to go & catch up with some people I know, & think of as friends, well, sort of...not as much as I thought, I guess.so I can say I do something.

I do struggle with people I would usually see being away for up to a month, possibly more, & because I don't have a wide circle of friends or family I miss the presence of even one.

A couple years ago, I went to a community lunch, hosted by a church, for anyone to come along to, & be with other people. I did enjoy that. But I'm not sure if they will be doing that again, yet.

In any event, I thought, this year, I can hang around here,

Any thoughts? Any ideas? Any plans? Or what?

mmMekitty 😺

30 Replies 30

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

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mmMekitty

Hi there mk, there ya go found it.

How are you doin today and feeling about things. Any plans come up now will you be seeing anyone on Sat now or ?

l dunno why l'm feeling especially shytty this yr . On some of the alone Christmas's other yrs l've enjoyed having a chuckle at all the fuss and actual stress so many others go through or turn it into or just feel , bc they won't be alone . Remember those days back when l was married. Although we had beautiful simple christmas's when we just bloody stayed home and had our own , most yrs were guilt tripped into not going, or going, to her family or mine , or somewhere, or something.

Her mob were a 2 hr drive and usually involved or not in this case me being ignored most of the day or painfully trying to make some stupid convo with some of them that'd just get that even more torturing kinda grunt reply back and then they'd just walk off and talk to one of their own instead. Can't stand that feeling of squeezing blood out of stone in situations like that. You all know you don't fit in and and have zero in common with the rest of them and they just aren't your people, but you gotta sit around 4 or 5hrs there anyway with them all.Whata way to spend the day, then drive 2 hrs home again.

Or there was mine , pretty well 4hrs away and driving through and across to the other side of Melb when you did get there, and back again later. Whata stupid thing to on a Christmas day , 8hrs of driving. And no one there could even comprehend that we were totally worn out from the drive and taking of that morning so after all that they'd wonder why you weren't so chirpy. Or other yrs you'd be guilt tripped for not going down, and no one could understand how we had the best Christmas of all anyway when we just stayed home and cooked some food and just hung out, with just us. Do miss those days for sure.

So it was always a damned if you do or don't and those are parts l don't miss at all for sure, not one iota.

rx

Absolutely in accordance with you there, rx.

I'm not having people over, not going anywhere either. I've got some serious surgery coming up, so I don't want to be putting myself at risk of COVID-19 now, even though it would be less likely to cause serious illnes. It would make anaesthesia more complex. I'm so annoyed & confused they want me to go to where I'd be as greater risk of being close to someone infected, in order to get a test to show I am not. & stay at home afer, as I would be do ing anyway.

Even if I had a place where I might go, I would have cancelled.

So, I'm here, & happy to talk.

I was thinking while reading your post, how when people came over to our place (when I was a kid), & the men would sit around the tele watching footy, & only be talking about that or making politically incorrect jokes, & drinking.

I think this is how they solved that social awkwardness you spoke of.

& the women were in the kitchen, gossiping, complaining, I don't know.

Kids were shooed outdoors.

My father had built our pool, so because it was summer, it was fine.

I didn't have friends, was ignored or told to go away.

People get to being 'brain washed' into thinking self-esteem & prestige aremeasured by how many 'friends' you have, & I see something similar in social media. It seems to matter little what the quality of the friendships is, so long as you can't count them with all your fingers & toes.

I vacillate between being annoyed to cynically amused. I want to take the p^** out of it, & frequently think, how good & sensible were the times when it was simple, a get together, bring a plate, or pack a picnic at most, & be outdoors in a park, at the beach, or the back yard. (if you got a back yard - that's a diminishing luxury these days).

Now, don't forget, get your entry in for the Crappiest Xmas Crap Awards!

Looks like everyone who enters has an excellent chance of winning!😺

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mmMekitty

Ah sorry your not going to anyones , or maybe your not sorry.

l could've gone down to Far side of Melbourne , catch some Covid , have a nice 4hr drive ea way butttt, no thanks, so no regrets.Turns out one of the sisters is having something but they tell me like one day before very considerate love it.

Funny really about the men back then you talk of. Yaknow my ex's family and people were actually ok people really,l just didn't fit , never did with them. But for some reason it was left up to me to somehow supposedly do something with the situation but it was all fine for them just not to even bother. Well although they weren't like your your times , they were all into cricket and a lot of the time were all cheering on some cricket on tv , but talking coming and going with wives or others or kids too. l'm not sporty at all though so it was just one more stone out of place.

l don't know what all the sm stuff is like for adults over all but l do know it's all ruined many of the kids lives my d's included. Yeah it is very very shallow and weird stuff these days l truly just feel sorry for them and the friend things the same. How many followers and so called friends - they don't even know, who's the pretties, hottest , who's got the most impressive looking life and glam pics and on and on. lt's really sad stuff. Mind you , seen a few and heard many a story too of adults just as bad.

Crappiest Chrissy awards eh , yep , we've got that.. Still don't know why l'm feeling so crap on this one actually, done this plenty before and haven't cared less. Weird , doesn't seem too many struggling around BB this yr. Good for then l suppose but other yrs there's been a lot of around feeling pretty rubbish.

Sorry about your surgery situation . There's plenty around here having this or that done or troubles l see so l hope you can all help ea other through things.

rx

I've seen some around BB who are struggling with Xmas, whether it's lonliness or isolation, or family friction, or whatever, I can empathise. I feel some need myself to be in some sort of contact, but not so much being social. Maybe with my sis, if she wasn't wanting to be with her son, far away. I do want us to have the closeness we once had when we were kids. So many years, I'm not sure it's even possible, but I want to try again.

Circumstances as they are, I am here alone in my flat/, trying to feel some happiness, trying to hav a little fun, trying to have some time to feel calm & at peace before the storm to come in January, or maybe it'll start up again Dec 31, when I, one way or another, have to get a COVID-19 test prior to being admitted to hospital.

In the meantime I want some kindness & care for myself.

the times wen I have felt terribly alone & simply wanted someone to reach out to me, & let me know they were there, had heard me, (even when I was silent), are what I'm thinking of when I reach out to someone here. I want to give someone something I never had. I don't like thinking they are feeling like I have felt; it's too awful.

That's my 'serious Xmas' I'm doing this year.

*

I was never sporty either. I began feeling out of place in my early teens, about the time most kids begin to become more self-aware, & feel self-conscious. & also begin questioning whatever is going on around them. Nothing made sense to me. I thought it must be me.

I'm trying to satisfy needs I have, trying to meet them to some extent, here.

mmMekitty

We got together at my place yesterday for lunch. My son came at 10 to put turkey in the oven and prep veg that I hadn't done. His wife came later when she was ready. My dtr arrived with 2 gingerbread house kits so while food was cooking the 2 groups of grandkids built the gingerbread houses. Friendly rivally between the groups promoted by son. Certainly wouldn't win prizes in a show but plenty of lollies stuck on top as well as consumed. Most of them had never held a piping bag in their life so lots of concentration and ignoring my sons teasing. The kids all got presents they liked so lots of happy faces. The adults did a silly santa. Each provided a ?$10 gift. Numbers pulled out of a hat for order of choosing gifts. For your turn pick a wrapped gift or steal off someone whose got a gift. They then pick another. One gift deserves the crappiest gift prize. It was a game fishing for poo. Noone wanted it except my sons kids who egged their dad into stealing it so they could play it at home. For crappiest decoration comes my dining table which started the day with Christmas table cloth and decorations but finished off with 2 gingerbread houses surrounded by spilt icing lolly wrappers etc etc. We ate outside so it remained that way the rest of the day.

What fun! Il love the Gingerbread House Kit idea. I once bought a Ginger bread House & spent 10 minutes putting jelly babies down the chimney. 😹 I can imagine the kids, icing everywhere, but somehow some gets on the Gingerbread Houses.

Yes, Fishing for Poo is certainly in the running.😺

& imagining the table, after a few hours, also covered in ants & flies! Very good. 😺

I've just had a email from my home helper, saying she & hubby aren't having people over this year, & that she will bring me a plate of turkey & mash potato (which is what she's cooking for them), for lunch! Not crappy at all - what else can I say but 'thank you'? 😺Ain't she adorable!

mmMekitty

Glad you will get a plate of nice food for lunch. Not sure what we will do today. Our kids are doing things with inlaws. Fortunately the table covered in icing was inside with flyscreens so no flies etc. 2 grandkids decided they weren't getting wet enough in the water fight so both tipped buckets of water over themselves so looked like drowned rats. Can soaking wet clothes count as crappy christmas clothing. Mr 3 walked up to his mum my dtr while she was chatting to the sensible adults who were ignoring the kids having water fights. He pointed the water gun straight at her side from close range and fired a long stream of water. She jumped up soaked to the skin while he looked around at everyone looking pleased as punch.

That's a distinct possibility! 😺

That's one thing Australia has in it's favour, weather warm enough for soaking kids, pets & watering the lawn all at the same time. 😸

I expected more rain where I am, but so far, it's warm & humid. with a blanket of thin cloud diffusing the sunlight, making outdoors look very glary bright to me.

Maybe later?

I have found some jazz music but it doesn't sound very Xmassy. I will look again.

mmMekitty

Lillylane
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

hi mmMekitty and all,

Yay! Found your thread!

I’ve alternated between being fine today, to moments of having a very heavy heart.

Thanks for being here and reaching out to others. Kindness and human interaction goes a long way.

Christmas music can be such a mixed bag. Some of it can put me in a festive mood. Other songs, especially with too many screechy high notes, has me reaching for the ‘mute’ button!

Take care lovely people x