Croix Parler

[Croix]

I'd like to use this pace for miscellaneous matters that don't fit elsewhere or you think I might help

Thanks

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Thanks for explaining....yes the princess had me confused.....I am afraid the virtual bowling will lack something vitally important i.e. the big, dark, sleeping giant out there to breathe life into.....

I think you would find this DVD website of mine quite useful in finding "hard to find" movies..also sells other items but I am so glad someone put me onto it.....Clue...what do you have in the sea with you, besides seals, whales, jelly fish and octopi?.....what's in the ocean?.......(may I ask which DVD movies you'd be seeking or is that too personal?).........Luv, Moon....

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I expect I'm familiar with the establishment you are referring to.

As for what I'm seeking. The one that has eluded me for many years is "Maigret", starring Rupert Davies, a BBC production aired between 1960 and 1963. I've only a couple of episodes out of the 52 made (not counting some German versions that do not have English subtitles). I do have many other Maigret series including those starring Rowan Atkinson and Michael Gambon.

Is there a particular film or TV series favorite of yours?

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Dear Croix

I will keep an eye out for Maigret...re my favourite series and movies...from some years back I loved Upstairs Downstairs; Nanny ( quite different from "The" Nanny set in NY with Fran Drescher) Mine had Wendy Craig, set in UK in the old traditional "Nanny with kids in the nursery" era...managed to get quite a few episodes from my website..

more recent Aussie series I also have, are Brides of Christ, Come In Spinner, Sword of Honour, Sea Change, Offspring, and will never tire of Call The Midwife (a brand new series of it just beginning on ABC) I got all these from that website so I can binge any time.

Movies I found on there were 3 favourites of Neil Simon (brilliant playwright) Goodbye Girl, Only When I Laugh, Chapter Two, all star Marsha Mason (who was his real life wife at that stage) Chapter Two is based on the two of them leading up to their marriage......I only had old VHS recordings...and so pleased to get brand new DVDs....

[monkey_magic]

I'm impressed with all the movies you all seem to watch and know...

I usually just watch whatever comes up on the tv program.

Not as dedicated as you lot.

Enjoy 🙂

[Croix]

Dear MM and Moon~

MM~ I'm surprised you do not have a favorite, perhaps nothing you have seen has realy appealed deep down as yet. Then again some that are too close may be painful, I have few like that. I do go back to my favorites year after year and get enjoyment from them again and again.

Moon~ I remember Wendy Craig as a spy's daughter in a Dangerman episode, then again in Nanny opposite Bette Davis I think.

Barefoot in the Park with Jane Fonda and Robert Redford? was a film made of one of Simon's plays I think too, as was at least some of Sergeant Bilko.

It is amazing the huge labyrinth of films and plays that exist to amuse and provoke.

Croix

[Moonstruck]

No Bette Davis wasn't in Nanny...

(My partner died last night Croix. I am ok...how can I be Ok?)

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

There is no script or timescale for how one feels, we are all different. For some the first thing is numbness and not feeling anything, for others it seems for a while as if they feel the same as before it happened, no change .

There are others again who do not succumb to overwhelming grief and go on with their lives - though they are subtly altered.

It may sound silly to say but I still see my first wife. When she died I was the sort that was overwhelmed straight away, devastated and could only see the loss, now I see our whole lives together, the good and bad, anger and humor, she is still part of me and I'm most glad of it.

I think - tell me if I'm wrong- that you had started to seem him again more recently after a long break, and that your worried about it but drawing closer anyway. A friendship and renewal that grew and your both took pleasure from. The original feelings between you returning, but perhaps in a slightly different way.

I would think there are others that may be grieving , would your son be one? Sometimes lending one's presence to another can help both.

I'm not going to talk more right now, I'll wait for you. I hope you would like to come back as you can and talk more, about now, about the past, about family or something completely different, wherever your mind takes you

Your freind

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Dear Croix....thanks for replying to my rather abrupt post about my partner dying. It came from out of the blue didn't it.....we'd been very important to each other for 11 years with a couple of breaks, on/off over the years but always missing each other enough to try again. we reunited a couple of years ago, and had become comfortable like pairs of old shoes....but I honestly say he made me happier than any man ever had.

No great handsome pin-up, no prestigious job, just plenty of laughs, same sense of humour, and strangely of all...he loved me. I know he loved me which is the most precious thing he left me with. Having been with many men of different kinds, for different reasons...this was the first time I honestly felt "loved". It was worth its weight in gold. Since a health condition worsened over the months I was all he had in his life, having turned into something of a recluse, losing weight and becoming a frail old man. I watched the strong guy I had known disappear in front of my eyes..it was confronting. I visited him the day before and he seemed fine, no distress, no pain,.......Drs said he went very suddenly the next night and it appears no prolonged suffering or pain But he didn't tell me he was going! He didn't tell me that was the last time we'd speak....or I might have said a whole lot more.......I wanted to tell him how happy he made me, how special he was. no woman had ever made him feel like that before.......how can I tell him now? We laughed so much,at the same things, we understood each other and were so alike in peculiar ways.....One thing I can do from knowing him is....."Yes, now I can say, I was loved"...............what happens now? whats the next step for me? What will I feel next? What if certain songs overwhelm me and make me cry. How do I behave now?

[quirkywords]

Moon,

I am sorry to hear about your partner. Your post really touched me as you write so honestly and from the heart. It is great to know that you have been loved. You had something so special and it hurts now it is gone.

There are no rules you behave however you want and feel what you want and cry to songs if you want to.

I have always admired the way you follow your instincts.

Croix has written a supportive post, so I just wanted to say I was thinking of you.

[Croix]

Dear Moon~
So if you cry - OK you cry, it will be fine. It can actually help. It is also OK to laugh, that can help too.

Please let me say that looking for next steps, wondering what you are going to feel, what if you lose it and cry - it is natural, but you are a unique person and your way of grieving will be uniquely yours, just as mine was when my partner died.

Don’t worry about ‘stages’ of grief and loss, they are in fact vague, occur in any order - or not at all. You will hurt, now or later I’m sorry but that is the truth. If you are like me you will find the grief will always be there, but so will the good things, in time a balance very much in favor of the good.

Being made happy by someone works two ways, you feel happy, and the person feels your happiness and is glad, feels better about themselves too. Same with love, he loved you, how great! “I have been loved” is the greatest of treasures. You loved back, even if you hesitated to call it that on here.

“I did not have a chance to tell him … “ is not important. Turning up every day, laughing together, understanding each other, being so alike in many ways. Do you honestly think inside he did not already know all you wished you said. Do you really think he did not now he was sinking, but simply wanted to save you pain.

There is one important thing I need to say. He knew you, as does your son, as someone who resists alcohol. Please stay that same person now. Get help straight away if things get too much. Now is not the time to be too much alone anyway.

Behave how you need, talk as much as you need,

Croix