Worried

[Rainshaddow]

Hi , new to this , don't know what to expect , suffer from anxiety and depression and C-PTSD , live alone out in rural Aus and just wanted to talk , some form of contact ,

[Rainshaddow]

Oh that's right kitty , shoulder x-ray came back fine , dr says just soft tissue issue , almost no pain at all now so whatever it was is on the mend for sure , I can sleep on my r/ h side more now so all good .

Volunteer SES is going ok , still nervous but hope it will pass soon . Yes the spiral anxiety talks can get full on eh , I tend to ramble as I lose my train of thought with too many thoughts at once and then forget my initial point , dammit ! Hence why I avoid conflict at all costs , it sux and I don't need it ,

I have borrowed a Samsung tablet from the town library and was given a quick run down in it and an instruction manual too , just for 3 weeks to see if I like it and then perhaps but one or a laptop , easier and bigger than a small phone ,

I got some good news on jobs front from 2 different places yesterday and today , things may be looking up at last , both back in mining , one though a mate and my old boss from last mining job I was at in the north west of WA ,

I really hope your job in aviation gets better , both in more secure with a pick up in flights and also how are things with the people you are working with , has it improved , or same or worse , let me know how things go with your partner , I truly hope he comes to his senses really soon , I kinda don't want to stop text talking but library closes soon and I got to drive out home , and thankyou for continuing to talk to me even when I had dropped off the radar , it means a lot to me , a shallow person would not have bothered , hugs from me to you 😊🙋

[Rainshaddow]

Hi Isabelle , how are you , yes the coffee shop I go to is so quaint , it's at the end of an arcade type ally walkway thing , the seat I get is at the large front window overlooking the footpath and main Street and across the road to the library I use , the main Street is on a hill that runs down to the railway line and port and a big open inner harbour , I am lucky I know , the scones are crumbly fresh , now I'm hungry ! 😋 How are things with you ?

[Rainshaddow]

I just had a thought Kitty , shall we do a bit of a lite relief , happy thing of ,

Favourite color ,

Fav food

Fav dessert

Fav band

Fav song

Fav music genre

Fav movie

Fav actor

Fav car or time of year

Etc , feel free to add to the list , no real boundaries , just a bit of fun I think ,

Geez I can't talk for days and now I can't shut up !

[Rainshaddow]

I will start thinking about my list , no pressure btw ,

[Rainshaddow]

Favourite author

Fav book

Fav flower ,

Fav time in history ,

Favourite anything in fact , why limit it ?

[Kitty1991]

Oh Rainshaddow I am sorry to hear about the the stage 2 jobs 😕, keep trying, I am sure your luck will change 🙂.
It would be nice for NSW to get their act together- but I think it will take a while for the COVID situation to settle down. It is a little uncertain atm with other airlines standing people down. I am with QantasLink, so being a regional airline we are generally the least affected and the last ones to be stood down. I think I should be okay on that front, but the unknown is still stressful and anxiety inducing.
I have made the really tough decision to separate from my partner of 10 years. I think it is time I look after myself for a while. While I know in my gut I have made the right decision for me - it still is terrifying, I haven’t lived alone for 10 years. I do have my cat to keep me company though 😺. He can’t understand why I want him to contribute to our relationship and he keeps insisting that I might be mentally unstable and need him to look after me. I told some friends this and they laughed till they cried over the idea I might be “unstable” because I have depression and anxiety. I find that notion really disrespectful to anyone who suffers from a mental illness.
We have our first couples counseling on Thursday- I not interested in reconciliation, I want to just focus on me for awhile. But I do hope the couples counseling can help him understand that we are just people who have different expectations, values and different goals in life and it’s time to move on.
the whole situation is very stressful and has made my anxiety go crazy. Had an anxiety attack on the way to work tonight, pulled over and managed to get myself back under control in about 10mins. Then I got to work and lost it having another anxiety/panic attack, full on body shaking, crying, with that massive uncomfortable lump in your throat that makes you think you can’t breathe. This one lasted about 30mins. I hid in one of the offices till I got myself under control, constantly doing breathing exercises from my therapist. Fortunately my boss realised I was having a meltdown and left me allow so it wasn’t awkward having a breakdown in front of my supervisor. I am hoping when the situation resolves with my ex and he moves out of the house I will calm down again.

[Kitty1991]

It sounds beautiful where you are with the lake and ocean - but seriously burr burr with the wind off the water. 🌬🌊🌬🌬🌬. I am jealous that you get to see the night sky without light pollution. I grew up in rural NSW with the beautiful night sky. I do miss it living in the city.
😆 I also write my responses down on paper- I find it really hard to type and think at the same time.
Indian Sitar music sounds good I will give it a go on the way home from work in the morning.
I think it is amazing you can borrow a Samsung Tablet from your library- I didn’t know you could do things like that. At least you can try it out and see if it works for you.

I am glad you heard from your mate and old boss on the job front. Are you excited for the prospect of potentially going back to the mines or are you more a cautiously optimistic person?
the people I work with 🤔 a couple still don’t acknowledge that I exist. I have been told by others that the problem is I am an assertive female. That doesn’t sound like a me problem, it sounds like a them problem. But it still make me feel strained and anxious working with them. Each crew that works on aircraft are split into 2 levels of authority. AMEs ( aircraft maintenance engineers) this is what I am, then LAMEs (licensed AMEs). I have told all the LAMEs who are in charge a little about what is going on and they are very supportive. So as long as they know, everyone else can bugger off and do their rumours. I am hoping these people will get over themselves soon.

[Kitty1991]

Oh favourite author all the possibility is lol. I guess my all-time favourite author has always been Raymond E Feist, with magician, the riftwar series and daughter of the empire series. but recently I listened to a complete audiobook series by Michael J Sullivan called legends of the first empire also the riyria revelations and riyria chronicles. I absolutely adored these- the perfect blend of humour, fantasy, and action. Oh, I could probably talk about books for ages though.

Favourite flower-I love blue Dutch iris

Favourite colour is blue

Favourite food- all now you have got me started- food glorious food … too many to pick from- I can't pick one so I'll pick a favourite dish from each animal;
-Lamb cutlets crumbed with mash and veggies
-chicken Kiev with anything because hello chicken kiev
-it's a toss up between meatloaf or corn beef
-I make this smoked salmon on sweet potato toast that I absolutely adore for brunch. brunch you get a sweet potato and thinly slice out like long pieces of sweet potato so it's like becomes the toast and then you smash an avocado on top and then put a fillet of hot smoked salmon with a poached egg on top and it's amazing.

favourite fruit cause it needs a completely different category than food I think- mulberries but because they really rare I'm also claiming watermelon

favourite dessert I'm tired between strawberries and chocolate mousse or a crepe suzette

favourite movie I'm going to say Lord of the rings

favourite time of year ah this is hard, I love autumn because butterflies migrate up here in Brisbane mostly like blue tigers and lemon migrants so when you walk in the forest she's surrounded by butterflies. But I also love spring because that's when all the new birds come out and you know lots of cute little animals.

Favourite time in history I don't think I've ever thought of this before… I do find ancient Egyptians interesting (come on this pyramids and cats are gods what's not to like) but the mediaeval times with jousting archery nights and according to some legends there's Dragons so that could be pretty interesting as well.

......

[Kitty1991]

Oh my God I am of them really annoying people who can never remember the name of the song or an artist. I do like country music, rock and roll including rockabilly, Blues (type in piano Blues one- a two hour long compilation into YouTube by soy music rock if you're interested in checking out this out) , update swing jazz, I enjoy listening to triple J hottest one hundreds I also like Celtic music. Pretty big variety I don't like um that heavy metal music where they are screaming and you can't understand what they're saying.

Favourite bird- galahs I love how pink they are in there a little silly.

Favourite animal- definitely a cat but really anything that small, fluffy and cute AKA puppies, bunnies, red pandas 🐈🐇🦦🐕🐆🐅🦉🐥🦊

my favourite TV show has to be Game of Thrones. have you watched Game of Thrones?

favourite instrument to listen to is the violin. whilst I have absolutely zero music talent I really admire people who can play music

favourite thing about a rainy day is the fresh clean earthy smell after the rain goes away

favourite big cat is a snow leopard because their paws are so fluffy

favourite colour roses yellow because it's really bright and cheerful

favourite chore to do around the house would be the gardening

favourite kitchen appliance (a weird one I know) would be the kettle because I cannot live without a cuppa☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️ Lol

this was really fun rainshaddow, great idea mate 😃

[Rainshaddow]

I was just looking on this site and they have a BB social zone , perhaps we could use that a bit for when we do our socialising , like what we have done with Fav things instead of the anxiety page bit , what do you think Kitty ?