Why me????? I hate OCD!!!

[keeping_positive]

I have contamination OCD.... I just feel like the last 5 months have been one big blur. I am constantly stressed, I honestly cant think of a time Im not stressed, even asleep its taking over. Today was a bad day, coming out from school drop off and there was wet, fresh blood on the path I dont know if I walked in it but in my mind I have somehow because others may have therefore its everywhere including on my shoes. I was supposed to be going to my first yoga type class but I just couldnt as the fear of it being on me I just needed to go home and shower and clean everything. Whats worse though is I couldnt clean it I just couldnt go near it so my partner had to, which he does but truly HATES doing it. He believes I should and I get that but I was already in a state of panic I just couldnt face it. What is the "normal"way to handle this??? I just feel like Ive lost all sense of reality and what is a "normal"way to react. I mean it was blood, near a school, near my children!!! I try and think what I wouldve done prior to OCD being so in my face but I dont know because I probably wouldnt have seen it and if I did just walked around it. How do I stop this, Im exhausted, my marriage is falling apart Im just leeting everyone down, including myself.

[ci]

Oh keeping positive don't apologize for the long post please post and vent to me anytime. your words feel so familiar to me.

My husband used to be exactly the same. We have beentogether for so long since we where young had our hurdles along the way with sick kids and things it was me the held it together and looked after everyone. so I totally understand how hard it is to go from strong and independent to ocd! my husband would get so cranky and frustrated. I wouldn't be able to speak to him and he didn't understand. Would always just end in mecrying and him frustrated!

Something changed few years ago like a light went on for for him. We had major health scare shook him up and he seemed to change from there. It's so hard to go through this. I hope your husband has the light bulb moment too.

Do you have any other support I know how hard it is to find others who understand ocd. My family think I'm just crazy and can't get there heads around it especially my mum she takes it so personally for some reason she sends my ocd through the roof with the way she acts around me.

I hope today is a better day for you. Please chat on here any time sometimes I wish this site would have a space to set up face to face support groups. I went to a 10 week face to face group it was so amazingly helpful to talk to others who truly understood and didn't judge.

[Verita]

You need to tell yourself that the blood was harmless , it will not harm you and you are safe, your family is safe. It really cant harm you and wont hurt you. despite your mind telling you otherwise. I dont know what you believe but i try and hand over my feelings of uncertainty to god/ universe or say a prayer to give my worries to god, we can not control everything , there will never be a satisfactory answer to the endless questions in our minds about what if that happens and what if this happens. I do understand the obsessing and the fear and panic.. remind yourself that your family is safe and well and leave all the rest to god and the angels.