When does it get better!

Bluey_moon · ‎22-03-2016

I'm so impatient for things just to be "fixed".

For those that have ready post previously would know part of my anxiety and obbsessive thinking was thinking I had scizophrenia. I have been assessed multiple times and told I don't have it. and I do believe them.

But I have a hard time believing anxiety could cause what it does, for me thinking I hear things because I became so on alert about "hearing voices". And while I beleive that anxiety causes all this, it's hard some days not to fall into the old thinking habits.

Dwwmills · ‎22-03-2016

Hi Moonstruck.

You describe what anxiety feels like very well. Especially GAD as it doesn’t necessarily focus on any one thing.

What worked for me was CBT and medication. The medication just took the edge off and allowed me to use CBT more effectively. It also allowed me at times to feel what a day without anxiety was like. CBT by far was the most effective long-term treatment. I no longer use medication but I practice CBT almost daily. CBT just helps you look at what you are thinking and replacing irrational thoughts with more helpful ones. E.g. one of my irrational thoughts revolved around my work. I have been doing the same job for 40 years and am quite skilled at it. I run my own business where I manufacture items for other businesses. When I pick up work from the businesses I would never ask how they would tackle this particular manufacturing job as I thought this would make me look incompetent. At times I would get quite anxious about how to tackle a particular job. My irrational beliefs were that “I had to know everything”, “If I had to ask questions I was incompetent” and “If other people know more than I do that would make me incompetent.” I have to tell you that this was a pretty tough set of beliefs to live with. Basically “If I did not know everything and do everything perfectly I was a failure.” I use CBT to on earth these irrational beliefs as I was not conscious of what I was telling myself. Once I’ve worked out what was happening I challenge these beliefs by actually asking people how they would tackle particular makes. I found out that no one thought I was incompetent because I asked. I also learnt quite a lot because I ask questions. It also turned out that I did know a lot because I exchanged my knowledge with other people. The end result was that both parties were better off for the discussion and my fears of being “found out” as a fraud were not realised.

I used CBT like this to find and tackle a lot of my irrational beliefs. Bit by bit it got better and my confidence grew because of it. It was and is a very rewarding process. Eventually you stop looking over your shoulder for the next thing that is going to go wrong because you now believe you can tackle it no matter what it is.

I hope this helps.

Dean

Mares73 · ‎22-03-2016

Hi there sorry to intrude & you are all to be admired for your strength & courage. What struck me was Dean's description of living daily with anxiety. I too have never read such a true description. It describes my life everyday. Dean how did you start initially to overcome the battle? Can you suggest ideas for how to start dealing with the exhaustion of living on nerves, waiting & creating crisis in my head. I have great respect for how you've managed the battle.

mares x

Bluey_moon · ‎23-03-2016

I think I give up. Maybe it's just ment to be this way. Sorry I'm winging this isn't me. I just can't make it better. I'm exhausted today after a long night with my baby boy! Then I'm thinking I hear things again, no tv on, I'm sleepy, people outside. Maybe their wrong, maybe something is wrong with me 😭 I'm so sorry

Dwwmills · ‎23-03-2016

Hi Skye.

You did well yesterday taking some action and feeling better for it. I always think if you can turn things around on a bad day it is an absolute bonus and you should be proud of that.

Sounds like you are really tired today. Being tired makes it hard to do ordinary everyday things never loan tackling anxiety. Maybe if you can catch a short nap sometime during the day it may help. Sometimes when I’m really tired I just have to accept that the day is going to be difficult and not to fight too much. You may hear voices but you know it is just your anxiety. To expect that you won’t have any bad days is quite unrealistic. It doesn’t mean that you are sliding backwards or failing it just means that you are tired. Try to get a good night’s sleep tonight if you can and things will be better tomorrow. If you are having trouble sleeping due in general you can try guided relaxation or see your GP about it. My GP prescribed sleeping tablets for me that I used if I was having a prolonged period of poor sleep. As much as I dislike taking them I found that by taking one just got me kick-started and gave me a good night’s sleep so I could tackle the next day.

Cut yourself some slack no one can be on top of things all the time. Hope you have a better afternoon.

Cheers

Dean

Dwwmills · ‎23-03-2016

Hi Mares.

I’m flat out at work today and it’s my daughter’s 18th birthday so I’m short on time.

In short I just realised that everything I’ve been worried about was just a smokescreen and it was really the underlying anxiety that I had to tackle. I started by learning as much as I could about CBT and using it myself every day. My psychologist had been using CBT with me before so I had some grounding to work from. I found a good app for my phone to help with this. I basically took charge of the whole situation I didn’t rely on my psychologist or psychiatrist to do it for me. I use both of them to help me but basically it was up to me to drive everything. It was very empowering and it worked surprisingly quickly. The irrational beliefs I had about the world was what was contributing to my anxiety. The CBT help me uncover these irrational thoughts and challenge them. I’ll expand on this more tomorrow.

Cheers
Dean

Simona · ‎23-03-2016

Oh you must be so wrung out... I know when I don't sleep enough everything is amplified and my reality is distorted. When my 10 year old was a teething baby I woke up through the night to what I thought was a bee stuck in my ear. It buzzed just like a bee and would not let me sleep so I became distressed but I was told there was nothing there.When I do hear a voice or an unidentifiable noise I HEAR it. I don't think "Did I hear that?" The voices/slamming sounds are very loud. But I don't dwell on them. I don't obsess. I guess I'm used to hearing strange things. I tell them to shut up or to please just get it over with and leave. Because that's when I'm really tired and getting very agitated . Yeah I talk to mine sometimes : )

Thinking of you : )

blondguy · ‎23-03-2016

Hey Skye

You never winge and have nothing to apologise for. You are a wonderful and kind hearted person, I would like to quote something Dean mentioned;

"everything I’ve been worried about was just a smokescreen and it was really the underlying anxiety"

Bullseye Dean! Skye...When we have a 'tired' mind it does tend to 'race' and 'overthink' which results in intrusive/negative thoughts/worrying. A huge contributor towards having a 'tired' mind is poor quality sleep.

I have had GAD for 25 years and even now if I have a poor sleep, I will always have difficulty the next day with unwanted thoughts/increased anxiety. Dean has done well not to be on meds. I still use them as a platform on which I can recover effectively including many years of CBT that has helped me not to 'beat myself up' by having these bad feelings/thoughts.

Calm and True Acceptance that the bad thoughts are harmless do take practise and time but does work

Mares....Thankyou for your very kind words of support on another recent thread x

Please be Gentle to Yourself Skye (HUG) 🙂

Paul

Bluey_moon · ‎23-03-2016

Thank you Dean for all your advice and your caring, thank you Paul too. I saw my psycologist today who is still convinced that it's anxiety, I'm still well I still worry it isn't.

Simona my love I'm glad you are ok! I was worried when I hadn't heard from you. I'm sorry my tired brain won't understand what you were saying. I think you were reassuring me that I wouldn't just think I did hear something, that I would and it wouldn't be like background, people outside ect it would be loud. But I don't know?! Is that what you ment? Sorry to ask, don't if you don't want to answer.

I'm just confused and scared!

Skye

Simona · ‎24-03-2016

Oh Skye : ) sorry for the confusion. Yes i was trying to make it better - reassure you. Yes. Aha. I know you are worried about S word sometimes. I don't have the S word but someone mistakenly wrote it in my file. I don't know who this person is. The advocate read it out last week and i said huh? I do hope it was followed by a question mark. What i think* though (and I'm no expert on mental health) ; is that i think* those undiagnosed who Do suffer with the S word are not actually obsessed/fixated about the possibility of having the S word. They are busy with other things. Like me with wire. Now and then. Except i don't have the S word.

I hope i have explained myself better. if not, just read my first sentence again ending in 'Aha" and ignore the rest. I do hope you are feeling better : )