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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Aggy Do you ever feel worthless?
  • replies: 163

I have always felt that I was a good person with decent morals and values. Even after many years of evidence showing I am useless and dysfunctional, Even my mum told me my life is a complete waste. I have always pushed on believing they were all wron... View more

I have always felt that I was a good person with decent morals and values. Even after many years of evidence showing I am useless and dysfunctional, Even my mum told me my life is a complete waste. I have always pushed on believing they were all wrong. You know what? It's taken me this long to figure out all those people couldn't be wrong. I am worthless. They were right and now I know I want to just keep out of everyones way. If my agoraphobia and I just stay home, I cannot be hurt in anyway any more. I won't upset anybody. I am safe here and I like it like that. I have my first Psychiatrist appointment in two days. I am feeling like not going. He's wasting his time on me. I'm better off to stay here and rot. Society can do just fine without me. He should try and help someone worth helping, not some one like me that's worthless. Has anyone felt like this before? -Aggy.

fluffybunny Can anyone Help me?
  • replies: 1

I guess I'll start at the beginning.Husband has a group of three friends he's very close to (1 couple and another male friend) who make me feel anxious every time I'm around them. I've spent 2 years trying to fit in with them, I feel I've only ever b... View more

I guess I'll start at the beginning.Husband has a group of three friends he's very close to (1 couple and another male friend) who make me feel anxious every time I'm around them. I've spent 2 years trying to fit in with them, I feel I've only ever been kind and giving to them, I invite them around for dinner or drinks often, I help them wherever I can, because I want to get along with them, for all our sakes. I just don't fit in with them though, I'm very different- they're all into music in a big way, I prefer cooking. They're into music festivals and smoking marijuana, I've never even smoked a cigarette and i've been to 1 festival- I prefer shopping and pampering! So when they come over, particularly the female- I feel anxious. I want to be this girls friend, and have invited her out to lunch, to hang out etc. just so I can get to know her, but I feel our relationship is superficial, and she speaks down to me. so...Husband and I are trying for our first child, we've been trying for about 6 months and had amiscarriage in October last year which nearly broke me. and 5 days before Christmas last year, on the afternoon of our annual christmas party that we host for all our friends she comes over to our house to tell us she's pregnant. I exclaimed I was ecstatic for her and gave her a hug and fussed over her. But inside I was broken. When she left I fell off the rails, I threw everything on the kitchen bench on the floor, I burst into tears, my heart was breaking. Fast forward a couple of weeks, husband and I are pregnant again (I'm currently 5 weeks) and this week I had a large bleed, I called husband as work straight away, it tears and he rushed me to emergency, the results are basically inconclusive and I just have to watch and wait. But on the day I had the bleed- this girl and her boyfriend announced their pregnancy on Facebook. I want to be happy for her, and I keep telling myself I am, but inside I'm screaming. I've done everything right- I gave up drinking, I've taken folate for a year, everything, and she's had her own troubles conceiving which isn't fair on her, but she's still smoking and drinking! I feel so angry- I don't know at what, or at who, but my chest is all tight just writing this and I just feel so anxious. we're going camping with them next week, I don't know how I'll cope for 4 days. It doesn't help I'm still waiting on results for our baby. Can anyone help me?beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

HelenM I can't untangle my mind
  • replies: 12

My sleep is causing me a problem. But in reality it's all about my memories regarding horrendous sleep problems 13 years ago when I was first ill. So, I'm having problems sleeping because I'm scared of all those memories. I'm dealing with it much bet... View more

My sleep is causing me a problem. But in reality it's all about my memories regarding horrendous sleep problems 13 years ago when I was first ill. So, I'm having problems sleeping because I'm scared of all those memories. I'm dealing with it much better than all those years ago, so I should realise from that how different things are. But other fears are jumping on the bandwagon. Friends tell me it's a spell that will go. It came for no reason and it will settle. Meanwhile I wonder if I'm becoming psychotic - I've never had psychosis, and then I worry that I think I'm psychotic and that will ruin my life. Crazy thoughts, all saying your life is ruined. I've had terrible fears before but not concerning a return to my sleep problem or thinking I'm psychotic. What's happening in my head?

TJE Can't face going to work, but worried what happens if I quit
  • replies: 10

I was diagnosed with anxiety about 18 months ago, but now see that I've been struggling with it for years without knowing it. I'm having a particularly bad few weeks, especially the last few days. I went back to work after Christmas on Monday and whi... View more

I was diagnosed with anxiety about 18 months ago, but now see that I've been struggling with it for years without knowing it. I'm having a particularly bad few weeks, especially the last few days. I went back to work after Christmas on Monday and while objectively nothing REALLY bad happened I was in tears when I got home. I'm an English as a second language teacher and it seemed the students (young adults) were just really disengaged and didn't want to be there, they grumbled and moaned about getting on their feet to do activities that are supposed to help bring up the energy. I was paranoid some were laughing at me. I know it was the first day back for them as well and they're only human, but I still feel very much like it's down to me. I only retrained and started teaching last year and this is a new class, so I am trying to be kind to myself in that it's a new career and I'm still finding my feet, but right now I'm just struggling to get from one day to the next. I called in sick yesterday and today. During lessons there isn't really any 'down time' to have a moment - the nature of the job is that you're in front of the class leading things every day. I'm thinking about quitting, which would be a short term relief, but then comes with money worries and probably looking for a new job. I'm not sure I'm eligible for much in the way of benefits. It would also feel like a bit of a failing, given that my wife and I only recently put a lot of time, money and effort into retraining me for a new career that we hoped would suit me better. I spoke to my wife about it and she's generally really supportive and tries to help me see things more objectively and not be so down on myself. But when it got to the point where I confessed I wasn't sure I could carry on with the job she is quite worried both about me and about the future - money, rent, bills, all that stuff in the short term, whether we'll be able to save for a house, have kids etc in the longer term. I feel like I'd be letting her down when she's been so supportive and given me money for retrainig, to cover the rent while I was looking for a teaching job etc. I've had two sessions with a physchologist at the end of last year, but she's away until the end of Jan. So I'm seeing my GP this afternoon, although I'm not sure really what I'm expecting her to do. I don't really know what replies/advice I'm expecting either, other than to get this off my chest.

stayingsane Hi, im new and just wanting to vent! Any support appreciated
  • replies: 2

Hi there. I'm new to this forum. I suppose I've been trying to reach out to people, online and sometimes in person to people I love, but it's very hard to do. I have been back in a state of anxiety and hence depression for 2 months I think. It is ver... View more

Hi there. I'm new to this forum. I suppose I've been trying to reach out to people, online and sometimes in person to people I love, but it's very hard to do. I have been back in a state of anxiety and hence depression for 2 months I think. It is very long. I spent all day in bed and ofcourse felt rubbish about that. And I don't get much out of it, just hiding. And hoping I'll fall asleep again. Which is hard to do once you've had enough sleep! I am trying occasionally to express myself to friends and family but I can feel my world getting smaller. the thing is, yesterday I had an ok day and felt so excited about it, like Im back! im ok! everything will be ok! and then today was a disaster. when you are in this state it is so hard to connect to the world. you feel so far away. and the future is scary. feeling lost and alone. reading some of these posts, it appears there are others who feel the same. we deserve better

Heidiiiiii Anxiety attacks whilst sleeping.
  • replies: 2

I'm 25 years old and have been battling anxiety most of my life. Its affected my ability to work and go to some social events. But I've usually been able to battle through it. Recently I've started having anxiety attacks in my sleep which I've woken ... View more

I'm 25 years old and have been battling anxiety most of my life. Its affected my ability to work and go to some social events. But I've usually been able to battle through it. Recently I've started having anxiety attacks in my sleep which I've woken up to and been completely terrified by. Its happened twice, so far only at my boyfriend's house. Im not sure how to handle this, what the cause might be or deal with this?

Willow26 Finally dealing and accepting
  • replies: 7

I have suffered anxiety for over 1 year and I have just finally received help. My doctor has subscribed me some medication but I am having major anxiety about starting to take them and am worried and extremely scared at the side affect. Are these saf... View more

I have suffered anxiety for over 1 year and I have just finally received help. My doctor has subscribed me some medication but I am having major anxiety about starting to take them and am worried and extremely scared at the side affect. Are these safe to take? Can they harm me in anyway? What is the safest of all the anxiety medicine? This terrible thing has ruled and ruined my life for long enough I live day to day constantly worried about everything I have the worst anxiety symptoms ever from racing heart headaches dizziness sleep loss stress and I am done with it all I want my life back!!!

BMW_X5 Scared
  • replies: 1

Hi All, I am new to this forum and seem to be having Anxiety attacks. I will share my story and experience with you all. Better go grab a coffee as it may take some time to read. It all started a about 4 weeks ago when I was driving into town my hear... View more

Hi All, I am new to this forum and seem to be having Anxiety attacks. I will share my story and experience with you all. Better go grab a coffee as it may take some time to read. It all started a about 4 weeks ago when I was driving into town my heart started to race and I couldn't breath, well I could breath it just felt like I wasn't getting any Oxygen, I drove myself to the emergency department thinking I was having a heart attack. They gave me some stuff which is supposed to stop your heart and restart it but it had a reverse effect and actually speed it up. anyway they kept me in Hospital over night and my racing heart started to settle down. I guess I should have explained that over the past 3 months I have had an uncomfortable bloating feeling in my chest as well which I have put down to my refux. anyway since leaving hospital I have been back 3 times and seen my own doctor about the same number of times as I now have muscle pain constantly through my chest, my shoulders and back ache, everytime I go to the emergency dept all my blood test, xrays, ultrasounds ECG all come back negative, which makes it really hard considering I have this constant pain, they have said that I suffer from Anxiety and I was placed on some anti-depresents which then made things worse as I started getting a tingling sensation running through my head down my shoulders and arms which made me more anxious about having a heart attack. I stopped taking them today as I couldn't cope with the feeling anymore (spent most of the night crying last night). I guess I am trying to see if anyone else has the same symtoms as me.

Lena123 Social Anxiety worse for specific events
  • replies: 2

I have suffered anxiety for many years and take an anti-depressant, which helps a lot. I suffer from social anxiety all the time, but can generally cope. What has prompted me to join up and make this post is that I have been invited to a hens night a... View more

I have suffered anxiety for many years and take an anti-depressant, which helps a lot. I suffer from social anxiety all the time, but can generally cope. What has prompted me to join up and make this post is that I have been invited to a hens night and from the moment I was invited I have felt anxious, stressed and had a headache. It's a fancy dress theme. I'm not especially close to the bride to be and dislike hen's nights to start with. I feel that I should just decline the invitation, knowing that the stress will end. This occurs whenever I'm invited to a big event, especially when i can't attend with my husband. What do others with social anxiety do in situations like this? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks.

lisalovesbacon OCD and intrusive thoughts.. help please!
  • replies: 5

I find that my thoughts are either a fear of disease (sometimes I fear AIDS, cancer (mostly skin cancer), heart disease, etc. And then I get the fears of hurting my close loved ones which is absolute torture, my current one is hurting my partner and ... View more

I find that my thoughts are either a fear of disease (sometimes I fear AIDS, cancer (mostly skin cancer), heart disease, etc. And then I get the fears of hurting my close loved ones which is absolute torture, my current one is hurting my partner and this is the one I can't stand the most. I' m scared these thoughts mean it will actually happen.I was going really well for a long time and a bout of stress due to giving up my dog brought out the harming ones again, I can barely sleep or eat while I'm like this. Sad part is, I'm just about to embark on a holiday and I don't think I'll enjoy it. What I keep repeating to myself is that I have gotten past these thoughts before, and I WILL do it again. Nothing is going to control my life but me.I'm currently not on medication, but I'm starting to think it might be a good idea. Thanks for reading.SIMILAR THREADSOCD and Intrusive ThoughtsHelp with intrusive thoughts caused by OCDIntrusive thoughts and imagesAnxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts help!Intrusive thoughts