Hi, im new and just wanting to vent! Any support appreciated

[stayingsane]

Hi there.

I'm new to this forum. I suppose I've been trying to reach out to people, online and sometimes in person to people I love, but it's very hard to do.

I have been back in a state of anxiety and hence depression for 2 months I think. It is very long. I spent all day in bed and ofcourse felt rubbish about that. And I don't get much out of it, just hiding. And hoping I'll fall asleep again. Which is hard to do once you've had enough sleep! I am trying occasionally to express myself to friends and family but I can feel my world getting smaller. the thing is, yesterday I had an ok day and felt so excited about it, like Im back! im ok! everything will be ok! and then today was a disaster.

when you are in this state it is so hard to connect to the world. you feel so far away. and the future is scary. feeling lost and alone. reading some of these posts, it appears there are others who feel the same.

we deserve better

[white knight]

Hi stayingsane,  welcome

Life....death is part of life, ups and downs is part of some peoples lives and not in others, the list goes on, some are deformed some have complexes, some inherit a business brain while others ....

Many in our case need proper diagnosis and the appropriate medication to keep their roller coaster from going too high or too low, so they can survive in society just that little easier.

Your problem you face with family and friends is them not understanding. Talk all you like to them but all you will do is prolong their frustration at not "feeling" what you are going through. It's a reason why some of us are here- because us birds of a feather flock together. Among new friends you will get the naive, the ignorant and the stupid when it comes to mentioning your issues.

"We deserve better"  Of course we do. We havent done anything to deserve our plight. Use search to read "think b4 you act" it is an account of a member here, a brave member that by his own hands, tried to end it all only to survive and undertake many operations to reclaim his health. Some fools would say "its his fault" while us here would say that his mental state wasnt stable and he needed help.

At the end of the day one can dissect all aspects of your illness, and come up with wall after wall of obstacles that hinder our progress. In my opinion there is a number of essentials to a the possibility of a good future and they are-

- acceptance of your illness as likely a permanent one needing proper continuous management

- To get to know your cycles and when low not try to aim for goals that are unrealistic which can cause you to lose confidence.

- To rid your life of people that do not contribute positively to you and cause you stress and upset (no matter who they are, dont feel obligated just because they are a key relative.)

- That you note the importance of key living needs. These could include the environment you live in eg a quiet areas rather than a night time noisy one, ca city move to the country, etc work career and environment etc

- Ongoing therapy

- persistance

Managing your illness is a package not one thing. Determination and being positive certainly helps.

Example. My anxiety. Diagnosed in 1987 but had it most of my 34 years till then it climaxed. I went on meds, had therapy and learned muscle tensioning exercises. I went off meds 12 years later and after 25 years 2012 could claim the anxiety is so little that it isnt there.

We deserve better and we can get it.   Tony WK

[Beltane]

Heya stayingsane!

Did you know that 1 in 5 adults get diagnosed with a mental illness at some point in their lives? And the 3 most common mental illnesses are depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. I'm telling you this so that next time you feel very alone you can remember that statistics say you probably know people who also have a mental illness.
Funny though, you don't see 1 in 5 people crying and panicking and suffering do you? Thats because therapy, medications and proper treatment make people a lot better- many recover completely, others recover but are susceptible to suffering another episode in their life..... (Statistics taken from BlackDogInstitute.org)

Anyway, statistics say you can and will recover. But unfortunately it wont go away by itself. I know you feel AWFUL- no energy, sad, terrible, all you can bring yourself to do is stay in bed all day, even getting up to go to the loo can seem like climbing a mountain.... But if you can, try to persist with checking in with your doctor, taking any medications prescribed, and seeing your therapist as often as they recommend. (you get 10 cheap visits under Medicare, and Extra insurance with many providers is very affordable and covers psychology, amongst other things).

I've got diagnosed with anxiety and depression 3 years ago, though i know i've had it for 10 years.. i was just too scared to fight it... it took me those 7 years just to admit i had it! anyway, it was so bad i was at one point suicidal and self-harming, my anxiety was so good i couldnt work, be in a relationship, go to social events, or even go to the shops!.... point is its only been 3 years but through therapy and medication (it took 7 medications to find the right one), my life has completeld changed. Now i have a career i LOVE, i'm in a happy long term relationship, i love going to see friends/ parties/ movies/ concerts, and my mood is wonderfully stable. my anxiety is 99% gone, its so wonderful. i never the life for granted now- other people dont think twice about going to see a movie, but i'll always remember what it was like to not be able to go, so i appreciate it. i always have to watch how i feel though, double check how i am and see my therapist if things arent looking good.

point is, i honestly and truthfully believe all people can improve their illnesses- it might take some time, it might take a lot of trial and error to find the right treatment/s... but eventually they'll feel better...