We all need love and compassion

[HelenM]

This post is appropriate to the depression forum too. 

From reading posts on here, from one or two friends and from my own experiences, I  am staggered at the horrendous suffering we experience with mental illness. I could cry for us all. And in a way I should because we have to be the compassion for each other. What we live with is unseen by others and so unaccepted. Despite caring family and friends I do not feel a true part of society.  Take care, all of us  xx

[HelenM]

Hi Neil A quick post as my head 's in a bad place and I can't cope with computers.  I'm sorry you have to live with depression. I thought that perhaps a lot of the time you kept well and your illness had receded. You always come across as upbeat.  I hope you're doing okay just now.  Actually in the charity shop where I help, customers think I'm so happy. It's a face.     Helen x 

[Neil_1]

Dear Helen

Head being in a bad place is never good.  I know all about that – and of late, it’s been very tough.

I actually have severe depression, anxiety and ptsd.  So with the combo of those three things, it makes life not so much fun.

Being on here helps me in a way – as I’ve suffered for so long and for so many years, and I feel as though I’ve had my share (and am still experiencing my every day difficulties), that I might be able to contribute here to try and advise or assist others … if I can.  Failing that, if I type how my brain thinks, then I can often quite often go off on different tangents and that may have the effect of amusement for the reader.  I know that when I read back sometimes stuff that I’ve written, I do wonder what things I’m taking or smoking;  but alas, I’m only on my gp prescribed meds and no other weird and wacky concoctions.

Yes, I know all about the ‘happy face’ or the ‘depression mask’ that we wear – pop it on at various times of the day to hide away how we really are.

I hope that you’re feeling a little better today – and also that your computer is playing more friendly as well.  And if so, please write back, as it’s always great to hear from you.

Neil

[HelenM]

Hi Neil,   It's evening here,  Wednesday evening. Dark, cold, rainy.

I was going to post this morning but my head usually works better in the evening and as for the computer,  it works,  I just don't like them. I'm not a fast thinker but even I find them slow. Plus I'm always doing things wrong.

Is the dog in the picture yours. Bonny, wee thing.  We have a middle size dog. She looks a bit like a dingo. We got her from a dog home and she's thoroughly spoilt.  

I'm sorry you've still got your problems with the black dog and friends. I think the black dog comes in different sizes.  Some people have a poodle to manage.  I've got a rottweiler!  That'd be an interesting question.  What's the breed of your black dog?    

 Let me know how your weather is so I can be jealous.          

 Helen 

[Neil_1]

Dear Helen

It’s early arve Wednesday here;  pretty warm outside, but also a giant storm is building up in the West – it grumbling quite loudly, so if it does come over, we’ll have some very heavy rain in a very short space of time.

Temps here of late have been hitting just the low 30 degrees, but by this weekend the forecast is for 36 degrees both days.

A bonny wee thing … I LOVE that;  🙂   Yes, well she was my Mum’s dog, so we’ve now had her for over a year now and she means the world to our family;  she’s 16yo and is so very cute with the most amazing and cute personality.

We also have our own 11yo, Jack Russell/Kelpie cross;  so if you can imagine a kelpie sized black and white dog and that’s Jack.

What breed of dog is my black dog?  He’s a Hell Hound – large and scary.

You wrote something about you do things wrong, or I guess make mistakes.  Wasn’t it Billy Joel who wrote and sung about how “You’re only human, you’re supposed to make mistakes”.  Everyone makes them, or at least does things wrong.  It’s the aftermath with that can always be a key thing for moving forward.  The process of learning from what we’ve done wrong.  So on that subject, I’m always learning.

Dark, cold and rainy in your area – sounds like a great time to ramp up the fire inside or simply slide under the doona and hopefully listen to the rain (if you’ve got a tin roof) – not many better sounds in the world than that.

Kind regards

Neil

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Helen,

I've seen this post a couple of times and I've just not quite known what to say.
You're right, we need love and compassion and when we find it we feel so lucky. I feel like here I can say anything and nobody looks down on me because they *get* what I'm talking about. 

I especially like that here, people understand the sadness that comes with realising your anxiety and/or depression is rearing it's head again. When I'm well my black dog is miles from my mind and life is good. But I know when it's coming, I can feel it approaching like a rising storm and its so scary. 

Sometimes, when I'm having a bad day I come here and feel a sense of ease because I know I'm ok here. I also find that replying to other people's threads helps, because it reminds me of the steps I need to continue taking too.

I hope you find some of the same sort of solace here. 

[Guest_5218]

I've also been following this thread for a while, but never contributed to it before.  

Neil, I was very taken with your comments regarding the weather.  I actually love cold, dark and wet weather - perfect to snuggle up in front of a roaring open fire.  I miss that, as it doesnt get cold here even in winter, at least not compared to where I used to live.  And yes, I also love the sound of rain on a tin roof.  At least we still have one of those here!  We just had a big thunderstorm pass by here too.  Lots of noise, and heavy rain, but thankfully no hail and no wind.  I believe Sydney has copped a tornado earlier today.

Like you Neil, I also suffer from anxiety and ptsd.  But I only have mild depression thankfully.  Nonetheless it does not make for a very happy combination most of the time.  Definitely many ups and downs along the way.  If we are lucky enough to find love and compassion, along with understanding, then it definitely makes the 'downs' easier to take.

Thinking of you all with affection.

Sherie xx

[Neil_1]

Dear Helen (& Chicken Wings & Sherie)

So awesome to have you join us in this thread – always great to have others chime in.  In this site, I think many heads are better than one – and our heads are all so well aligned, that it’s easy and comfortable being here as we know each other is not travelling well and so there’s no need to be worried about how we feel here.  Gee, I knew what I wanted to say there, but I hope it came out ‘ok’.

Weather first – yes, we got a couple of decent storms yesterday, rained ok at times and yet other places close by either got lots more rain or barely anything at all.  I guess that’s the thing with storms … they can be very hit and miss.  But holy smoke, yes I saw that Sydney copped a battering yesterday, very wild winds and big rains, etc.

That was awesome to read from Chicken Wings, I believe who wrote that coming here can be a helpful experience and great to read that by posting to others it is also helping as well.  I feel exactly the same way.

Plus we know how rife this awful illness is and so each day we have new people coming here and no doubt being scared about it all, as well as being a bit scared about posting on here for a first time.  So that’s always a good feeling to reach out to those people and to try and calm down any fears they may have and to offer some help, if I can think of something ok to say.

It then gets back to what Helen’s thread is about ‘love and compassion’ – and as important as it is to hopefully have that out in our real lives, by coming here we can get a very real feel of that on Beyond Blue as well.

I don’t know where I’m really going with this, so I may just finish up here and wait for the next post.

Kind regards

Neil

[HelenM]

Hi Neil, CW and Sherie,      

Neil, l love your posts!  They are so inclusive which is mega important as most of us feel excluded in the 'real world' even when we're not.  In fact that 's where my head often is -  feeling I'm not as good as others because I've failed again. Then if I feel well I suddenly feel as good as everyone else.    

Sherie and CW,  it's so good to see you both. CW, that's exactly what I feel, nobody looks down on me here.  What is it about mental illness that makes us so ashamed.   Sherie,  there's nothing ,only,  about mild depression and as you say you have other problems.    Also,  Neil I love talking about the weather, I'm the Scottish weather woman on the site.    

Me doing the weather:    

Och,  well it's a wee bitty drizzly just  now, and by early afternoon we're in for some awfy heavy showers so you'll no be putting your washing out.    

Love to everyone,  Helen 

[Guest_1055]

A....... yeah me too, I've been reading this thread as well. It's a bit like a long interesting story. I have sort of met all of you before so hello again. But I have not come across you a lot Helen, and I really wanted to say hello, and give you a warm hug. You seem so,so nice. Do you have a strong accent, because that is how I imagine your voice to be.

Don't know what else to say at the moment though. So I will just say goodnight.

With love to you all

Shelley xxx

[HelenM]

Hi Shelley  

 Thank you for saying I'm so nice. I don't know you well either but I know we've bumped into each other on here. I think there's a warmth on this site with everyone. We need each other and recognise each others vulnerabilities.  I don't have a strong Scottish accent as I grew up in England.  I do use the words though. My son has a strong accent,  my daughter less so.  

Love to everyone,   Helen  x