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[Lulu89]

Hi All,

I am not sure where to begin. I have always been a "stresshead" (not my term) and a worrywart, but of late it seems to have escalated. I am now experiencing panic attacks, which always come out of the blue (to me anyway) and are frightening as well as knots in my stomach, having little to no appetite, difficulty sleeping most nights, crying at the drop of a hat and just not myself. I am uncertain as to what is the cause or trigger but before I got speak to a doctor I thought I would try and find some support from others in the same or similar position or not at a all but are happy to listen.

About me: 28, 3 children aged 8, 4 and 8 months. I work as a disability support worker with shift work hours however I'm currently only working 15-20 hours a week as I've come off maternity leave recently. I am partnered. My partner works shift work hours in management elsewhere.

According to my father I have always been the queen of balance -working, study, raising children, taking them to their extra curricular activities and school, home duties shared with my partner etc and I am still managing to do it now however I just feel like I'm going through the motions.

Am I just being silly? I feel like I'm not making sense..

[JessF]

Hello Lulu, I am interested when you say you feel like you're going through the motions. I have had periods in my life where I have been going along perfeclty in a routine, and anxiety strikes. Looking back, I can see a connection between the anxiety and that feeling of going through the motions. It's almost as if there's a panic about being stuck on a treadmill and not being able to get off it. Does this resonate with you at all perhaps?

[Quercus]

Hello Lulu89 and welcome!

Good on you for reaching out for support.

Ah my old nemesis shift work. I have a two kids 3 and 4 years old. Hubby works 12 hour shifts and I used to work part time night shifts. It was not sustainable. Something ends up giving and in my experience it was me.

Try writing a list of all of the things you are required to do in a week. And then examine your sleep patterns. I used to do night shift, get home at 3am, hubby would be getting up to start work, sleep until the kids woke me up at 6 and get up. Manage the kids on autopilot as they didn't nap. And then spend the next few days trying to catch up. With children that is impossible!

It is easy to say ask your partner for a break but not realistic. We have bills to pay and someone has to work. And someone has to do the school run and cool and clean and grocery shop and care for the bub. This is just life.

Regardless of how organised you are... Something will give. Lack of sleep and a baby and school aged kids... I really am not surprised you feel so low right now.

So... The plan of attack. Asking for help and getting some supports in place. Who have you got around you that you can ask for help?

You mentioned your Dad. Can he take the kids to school after your shifts so when bub naps you can too? I like lists so making one of the options available to you for support is a good plan. And use them! Asking for help is very hard but people usually are waiting to know how to help you... Ask?

It is time to book a long appointment with your GP. If it helps you print your post or maybe do the K10 quiz (the depression one the midwives get you to do) on BB and take the result in too. Don't let them fob you off ok. It is not reasonable to have insomnia and panick attacks and to cry all the time and feel numb. There is something wrong and you know this and we can see it too. Trust your gut!

I hope you can keep writing when you feel able and can get some rest whenever you can.

Please take care of yourself.

Nat