Leaving stressful job and too much change at once - feeling broken

[Guest_7070]

For the last couple of years I worked 12 hour days and it wasn’t unusual for me to bring work home to complete on weekends. My family warned me that this wasn’t sustainable. Then three weeks ago after not sleeping due to stress, tension and anxiety, I resigned from my management job. Stupidly, I thought once I left my job I would feel better again quickly. Not having a job has made me feel empty and even though I want to look for work as soon as possible, I feel scared of the process and starting a new job.

Two weeks ago I went to see my Doctor and just broke down in tears – it was very embarrassing. She thought it may be due to the lack of sleep and prescribed sleeping tablets to take for two weeks to try and restore my sleeping pattern. I had to wait while the Pharmacy ordered them. In the meantime I started to sleep again, so I didn’t end up taking them.

Then one week ago my eldest son moved out with his girlfriend which broke my heart and the house feels so empty … I know I should be happy about that. Unfortunately I’m not sleeping again. I have decided to start taking the sleeping tablets for a week and see if that makes a difference. I will go and see my Doctor next week once she returns from holidays. I have also made an appointment with a Psychologist.

I have done extensive reading about how to return from this horrible experience, but I think the constant reading of the endless information on the internet probably isn’t overly helpful. I have been trying to reconnect spiritually, learn mindfulness/meditation, walking heaps, positive talk, etc. and forcing myself to eat even though I have no appetite. I'm taking natural remedies for mild anxiety.

I found the lead up to Christmas to be incredibly difficult – I just wanted it to go away. At the moment I feel broken and I just want to feel normal again. Has anyone else felt like this before? Any advice would be welcomed.

[demonblaster]

Hi Victoria thanks for coming to BB & sharing

I'd imagine that'd be normal to feel lost & empty after putting such hard yards into your work. Most of your time was taken up with it.

I feel you've got the goods to get through this, you're doing everything right, Dr app psych walking, positive talk etc, you have the will to get through & that's vital.

Sleep is a biggy when we're struggling, I hope the meds work ok so you do get back into your routine. It weakens us & life's harder to cope when we're tired

Understandable to be sad about son moving out, you're a loving parent & human. Be gentle with yourself. It's a big thing, time will help

Hope to see you again & hear how you're going

All very best 🙂

[Aprilsnow]

I am in a similar situation, my anxiety got worse when my daughter moved out of home suddenly in May last year & I have been on a downward spiral ever since with other problems too. My daughter and I were very close and did everything together so I really found I was grieving for not just my daughter, but my friend and shopping buddy. It is so hard being a mum, I know as you miss them so much. She is my only child & I am a single mum. I raised her to be a strong woman and it is not her fault that I cant cope with it all - I think that it happened so fast that I could not catch up - with her suddenly moving in with a boyfriend after knowing him for a short time and then engaged - but I am trying hard. But my health has taken a real toll - lost 25 kilos and other issues too. Anxiety is behind it all and I am trying to cope. I hope we can get the help we both need soon. xxx

[Guest_7070]

Hello Aprilsnow,

I’m so sorry you’re struggling! Your daughter sounds like a strong and wonderful person. You should be very proud. I totally understand the feeling of everything happening way too fast. It can be very scary. Does your daughter know how you feel? Are you getting any support from family, friends or professionals?

Can I ask if you’re taking medication and if so, is it helping? I’m trying so hard to get through this without medication as the thought of it petrifies me, but I don’t feel like I’m getting any better. Some people have told me to just go and get another job, but it’s not easy when you’re feeling horrible. If only it was that easy.

I hope we can both get better real soon and start enjoying our lives again.

[Guest_7070]

Thank you for your encouraging words. I was hoping to start feeling better by now. I have been pushing myself to do activities but everything seems like a big effort and I can’t lift this cloud that’s following me around. I just want it to go away. I hate feeling like this.

[demonblaster]

Hi Victoria

How are you going, its often the way with depression that we sink back at times but as long as we keep getting back up

Are you still exercising meditating mindfulness positive reinforcement?

Hope youre coping better ☺

[Guest_7070]

Thank you so much for checking in with me. Unfortunately I haven't been feeling to good. It's been 6 weeks and things aren't getting better. My Doctor believes I now have depression and has prescribed an AD. I never wanted to do this, but feel I have no choice. I'm so nervous about starting them.

Still walking daily, meditating, etc. but doesn't seem to be making much difference. I keep telling myself this is only temporary, but it's so difficult. Now seeing a Psychologist who is confident about my recovery.

[Guest_7070]

I would love to hear from anyone who can share their positive experience after starting AD.

[demonblaster]

Sorry you're not travelling so well darl but good hearing psych confident for recovery & you're still being proactive good on you

Yeah temporary Victoria youve got a great mindset you'll work through this & you have here as well

All very best hun ☺

[ciclista]

Quick background .. 40 years suffering from Anxiety and depression ( Im only 47years old ) Always throw myself in the deep end and try to do the best I can for all around me. To my own detriment! Similar issues with work and after a company australia wide restructure my whole work life has been turned upside down and has ramped up the anxiety and depression to 11. Im on AD ( have been for 17 years ) and now also taken the plunge after such a long time to seek professional help. With regards your question, I find that my AD meds are quite mild, hav'nt effected me too dramatically and are quite " non invasive" in my everyday life.

What I have found is that since the work upheaval that my appetite has gone, I constantly worry, feel very tired and struggle to stop the " background Noise " that is anxiety and depression. Quite clearly, a combination of medication AND cognitive assistance is going to be required to unwind 40 years of Anxiety and depression in my case.

Can I ask, have you had any previous Anxiety or depression prior to the work pressures etc ?