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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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SG1993 Work causing Anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hi, my first post here and looking to seek some assistance. I am quite concerned with the possibility of developing some kind of Anxiety and/or Depression disorder due to my job and based on how it has been affecting my well-being and quality of life... View more

Hi, my first post here and looking to seek some assistance. I am quite concerned with the possibility of developing some kind of Anxiety and/or Depression disorder due to my job and based on how it has been affecting my well-being and quality of life. I've been employed in a Government job the last two years. Starting this job I was quite happy and keen seeing that it has been my dream job, however this all soon changed. A few months into my job, I went through some issues with a now ex-spouse which was quite distressing for me involving legal action etc. I sought help and advice from my workplace to be moved closer to home in a bid to deal with these issues, with my workplace not allowing me to move closer to home and being un-supportive.. To cut a long story short, in this time in my work place I have been bullied and have been branded a "trouble maker" by senior colleagues for speaking up about certain issues, which had at the time resulted in me becoming quite nervous and even anxious before going to work. Before work I would get heart flutters, some mild feelings of sickness in my stomach and just emotional detachment to loved ones at times when I would know that I would be going back to work. I still experience these to this day - however prior to this I have been fine with nil symptoms, and am normally a happy and out-going person. Outside of work I do enjoy life and I feel I have zero anxiety or depression symptoms. Outside of work I am able to enjoy time with my spouse, family and friends and keep quite active, however whenever it comes to my current job I seem to just "break down" and feel anxious before and during shifts, missing my spouse and also thinking about other occupations. I'm looking for advice on what to do here, as whenever I am going back to work or at work I seem to have a roller coaster of emotions and feelings which I find extremely draining and even negatively impacting my work performance. My biggest concern is developing a disorder of some sort, as these ups and downs are quite large for me. I've been using sick leave at times because sometimes I just cannot front up to work, where-as in the past and in previous occupations I would never do this due to job satisfaction. I dream about work nearly every night, and taking holiday's for weeks to even a month hasn't seemed to alleviate the problem going back to work. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

RedRose123 Can I be forced to work more hours at my job then I'm contracted to?
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure if anyone here would know but I need some advice...Due to my anxiety (and depression) I work permanent part-time 4 hour shifts, 4 days a week. I feel like I have quite enough hours as it is. Some times it feels like way too much as it is... View more

I'm not sure if anyone here would know but I need some advice...Due to my anxiety (and depression) I work permanent part-time 4 hour shifts, 4 days a week. I feel like I have quite enough hours as it is. Some times it feels like way too much as it is. I've really been struggling. On Friday my boss mentioned that she needs me to work more hours. Due to what was going on at the time we couldn't really discuss it. It was just said in passing. But I want to find out my rights before we do. I want to say no. I'm honestly already at my breaking point. I do not want more hours. Can I be forced to work more then I'm contracted to on a regular bases. (My boss does know about my anxiety and depression which is why I work part time in the first place). It's not that I want to make things difficult for her. I'm just trying to look after myself. As far as I can tell from reseching the law she can't. I feel so stressed now. I don't want my boss mad. But I'm already sick enough. Please help.

azarrah Panicked beyond exhaustion by health anxiety
  • replies: 12

Hey all, so I know health anxiety is a common trend here. I suffer from it also, so I always try to offer my support to other people who are going through the same thing. But now, I could really use some reassurance of my own... Basically, a few days... View more

Hey all, so I know health anxiety is a common trend here. I suffer from it also, so I always try to offer my support to other people who are going through the same thing. But now, I could really use some reassurance of my own... Basically, a few days ago, I found this mole underneath my chin. It's new, it's large, it's dark, it's different, and it's slightly irregular. You can see the problem immediately, I'm sure. I think it came from a pimple, but whatever it used to be, it's a dodgy-looking mole now. I did what you shouldn't do: I turned to Dr. Google for help, which naturally told me I had melanoma and should go to a doctor right away because melanoma can kill you within 6 weeks. Joy. Normally, I ignore that stuff. The problem is, this thing actually does look rather like a melanoma, and it is new, and it has come in very quickly. It fulfils most of the "warning signs". It would honestly be stupid not to get the thing checked. By a complete coincidence, I have a surgeon's appointment to get another mole removed - for purely cosmetic reasons - in two weeks. I don't think I can wait that long. Is it even wise to wait that long? I'm going to explode with dread! I was kind of okay with it until tonight, when an article I was reading said two terrifying things: if the (potential) melanoma is raised already, and if little black dots can be seen in it, you're in trouble. Well, my mole friend has both of those things. This cold panic just washed over me. To reiterate, I know it's unlikely. But it's not impossible. That's the problem. I just can't stand the thought that this mole might, possibly, be growing and doing evil things while I live a normal life. I can't stomach it. I want to throw up, I'm so scared. I guess this is partly health anxiety, and partly legitimate fear. I know the likelihood of my mole being a melanoma is very slim, but the possibility is there, and it does fulfil the criteria. How do you guys deal with such panic, in the meantime? Meditation doesn't work for me, unfortunately.

Kaelon Health anxiety brain tumor (25)
  • replies: 8

Does anyone else here suffer from health anxiety?I thought I had left it in my past after suffering debilitating month long anxiety attacks about having ALS, HIV, some sort of bird flu and a few others.And at the moment I feel utterly convinced I hav... View more

Does anyone else here suffer from health anxiety?I thought I had left it in my past after suffering debilitating month long anxiety attacks about having ALS, HIV, some sort of bird flu and a few others.And at the moment I feel utterly convinced I have a brain tumour. My symptoms are as follows: - trouble recalling the right word or name of a colleague - constant brain fog and headaches (seven weeks going now) headaches are relieved with ibuprofen - occasional ringing in my ears - constant post nasal drip down the back of my throats despite no blocked noseI've been to a doctor who gave me numerous cognitive and neurological tests. All of which I passed perfect. He's booked me in for a blood test and an MRI. However due to the holiday season I'm unable to get these tests done for a week and a bit.All I can do is sit in my room and obsessively read threads of brain tumour stories and initial symptoms having a mild panic attack every time I find one that matches my symptoms.Has anyone else suffered from this and can you offer any advice?

kned Anxiety and work
  • replies: 9

I'm due back at work soon, after a year off with my second baby. I have a history of Anxiety and social anxiety and the past year I've felt the best I have in ages! I guess I didn't have the stress of work, I was busy focusing on my kids and feeling ... View more

I'm due back at work soon, after a year off with my second baby. I have a history of Anxiety and social anxiety and the past year I've felt the best I have in ages! I guess I didn't have the stress of work, I was busy focusing on my kids and feeling comfortable in my own abilities. I have been looking forward to my return to work. I've missed my workplace and the clients I work with. I was excited until yesterday where I had a meeting with my boss. My boss has told me I'll be returning to a different role. At first I was flattered that they want me to do this role. But once it sunk in, I started to panic. Im so upset that I can't do what I was doing previously. The role is similar but I'll be moved from my office (and the colleagues I know) to working on my own, from a hot desk in a busy office. The role involves lots of approaching people... Something that I don't feel comfortable doing at all with my social anxiety. I've been feeling anxious enough about returning to work, and now this on top has caused me to completely panic. I rarely slept last night and feel so sick today. I could talk to my boss but what can I say? That I have Anxiety about this new role? That I want my old role back but know this is being filled by someone else already? I'd look weak and really being socially anxious is not something I see them accepting. I'm at the point where I want to quit, which is extreme. We cannot afford for me to quit. I do like employer and I want to work . I just don't want the new role they propose. I also don't want to be anxious all the time, that will then affect my husband and children. I get distracted, irritable, panic.about irrational things (kids getting sick or harmed, losing my husband etc) when my anxiety is bad. I want to be relaxed and calm like how I have been. I can't see a way around this. I also don't want to have to see a psychologist just to be able to function at my job. I'm not sure what advice people can give but I need to write this down, possibly to those who understand how I'm feeling. I don't know what to do..

Acnalb New here
  • replies: 4

Hello i am new here. I really dont know what to say. But all i can say is, i am really confused and scared of my anxiety.

Hello i am new here. I really dont know what to say. But all i can say is, i am really confused and scared of my anxiety.

Panicker I have travel anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hello my names Nathan I'm from the uk but I'm traveling around Australia I have OCD, anxiety and depression do this makes things ten times harder I've been living in hostels for 3 months now and the noise and the people are really starting to piss me... View more

Hello my names Nathan I'm from the uk but I'm traveling around Australia I have OCD, anxiety and depression do this makes things ten times harder I've been living in hostels for 3 months now and the noise and the people are really starting to piss me off now, there's noise everywhere you try and sleep there's someone snoring or someone talking loudly on the phone being obnoxious laughing loudly, we have a film room but there's still rude idiots who talk through the film and there's music blaring out people being idiots making stupid noises outside showing off, I can't even go to room watch something as the wifi doesn't work. Sorry to go on I'm going on a trip around Australia in a few days with an organised group I'm scared that their all gonna be a bunch of morons I've had bad experiences before in Tasmania where this girl I was attracted too treated me like crap she gave me such vulgar looks we were at wineglass bay in Tasmania beautiful place I honestly felt horrible I was so anxious crying all the time not one person asked if I was ok, I'm really sorry to go on I just really don't want this to happen again I want to travel that's my life life goal don't want anyone to spoil it for me I'm worried if it happens again I'm gonna really lose my temper and hurt that person please help me I need a support group to help me I don't wanna feel like I'm the only one thanks Nathan

Diamondback I never thought anxiety would affect me
  • replies: 8

So to be honest I had always thought anxiety was a bunch of hoo ha and something people had made up.... Have a spoonful of concrete and harden up I had always thought I was a strong person and had the philosophy of shit happens move on.... I had my f... View more

So to be honest I had always thought anxiety was a bunch of hoo ha and something people had made up.... Have a spoonful of concrete and harden up I had always thought I was a strong person and had the philosophy of shit happens move on.... I had my first anxiety attack around 4 years ago there was no real reason for it a little stress at work and that was where it had happened I literally left work thinking I needed to go to the hospital because I was having a heart attack me being who I am thought I was being stupid went home slept it off and had no other issues for approximately 2 years my next episode was driving on a road which I thought was unsafe not just a small amount a large amount. 2 hours. I ended up in tears with my husband and son I was convinced we were going to die in a car accident. We got to our destination I slept next day I was fine. The real start of my constant anxiety was approximately 6 months ago I was at work a bit stressed but nothing out of the ordinary and it started again I literally thought I was having a heart attack and going to die luckily enough I was able to go have a sleep come back thinking it would all be ok like it normally does but this time it did not go away.... The hardest thing I find is people asking what triggers your anxiety and to be honest there is nothing big mostly my anxiety is triggered by my fear of having anxiety....there has never been a point in my life before where I have been so scared and irrational the realisation at the time that it was real and I could not control it made it even worse. So over the last couple of months seeing a councillor it has finally started to help. I realised in fearing my anxiety it only made it worse.... Accepting my...hang on no! 'the' anxiety it separates it from who I am I wrote a letter to 'the' anxiety and I know it sounds weird but after that and accepting it rather than fearing it every day seems to get easier. Don't get me wrong I still have days where I don't want to get out of bed and do what I need to do but those days seem to be getting rarer and rarer and I feel myself getting a little more certain everyday about who I am and what I feel not trying to push everything aside which is probably how i ended up here in the first place. I am thankful for my friends and family that have supported me through this, talking to me everyday and I know now it's not an easy fix but eventually my life will feel some what normal again

Acnalb Anxiety taking over me
  • replies: 3

Hello, i been experiencing panic attack for long but i didn't realise it was bad. And then the anxiety come to the top of it. Every day of my life i been worrying or asking my self is my anxiety will attack today? And that question becomes worry ever... View more

Hello, i been experiencing panic attack for long but i didn't realise it was bad. And then the anxiety come to the top of it. Every day of my life i been worrying or asking my self is my anxiety will attack today? And that question becomes worry everyday that it takes over my everyday living. Cant get out for shopping or coffee with friends thinking i will have my anxiety and panic attaack again while enjoying what i am doing. I also have some scary thought in my head that just pop up suddenly that makes me so depress. And i have no one to talk to.

Talon Social anxiety destroying my life
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I'm a 46 year old male and believe I have endured some degree of social anxiety for as long as I can remember. In the past I've sought professional assistance and been given coping strategies and other advice. I suppose I didn't ever really... View more

Hi there, I'm a 46 year old male and believe I have endured some degree of social anxiety for as long as I can remember. In the past I've sought professional assistance and been given coping strategies and other advice. I suppose I didn't ever really seriously put any of these to use. To this day I still suffer and endure this nightmare. I sometimes find myself reminiscing about the past and not in a good way. I believe I've existed through most of my life thus far, and never really enjoyed events and occasions which should have been celebrated, creating memories which bring a smile to your face. Instead, I made these events and occasions unbearable at times and although getting through most of them without quitting, come out the other end worse off. I mean this in that I have and exhibit little to no confidence, constantly mind read what other may be thinking and avoid many activities I enjoy, in case I'm struck down with a massive hit of anxiety. Almost always caused by my irrational negative thoughts. I have found it difficult to make and foster decent mateships. I only have a couple of mates who I sometimes also feel anxious around, thinking am I ruining this or that outing. I'm sure it shows to. I become reserved and leave analysing the night as to how I came across and was received. Even though I have know them for a very long time. I'm getting older and wonder if I'll ever be a happier, go lucky type person who accepts me for me. I have always been a people pleaser and been taken advantage of on numerous occasions. I have a good heart and would give the shirt off my back to help anyone, known to me or not. That's just me. I don't expect anything in return but rarely am I contacted again (boys trips away etc) and find out later. This only serves to exacerbate my anxiety and question everything about my being. I'm currently going through a separation with my wife (we have a 4 year old and 1 year old) I'm most likely facing a medical discharge from my job due to PTSD and face a very uncertain future (26 years in this job). I'll be starting a job from scratch. I have no idea if I want to continue my marriage and have no other skills. I have been divorced before (have 2 teenage boys) and am feeling absolutely worthless. I can't bear the thought of failing my children because my anxiety, coupled with PTSD, depression and very little confidence has plagued me for so long I'll never change. Please any advice or words of hope appreciated.