Dealing with mental health, managing work and colleagues. How do you deal with it all???

[_FallenAngel_]

It is such a struggle for me to juggle weekly doctors appointments and the anxiety it causes by the lead up to being weighed however my manager is supportive so far with me taking time off and he does try to understand how possibly he can help me. All these years I tried to keep it a secret at work as I thought, rather very naively that no one would ever find out about it but it was not long before the whispering around corners turned into out-right questioning and suddenly I found myself explaining and dispelling the stigma, stereotypes and preconceived ideas that my colleagues had already established about me, and some of the most rude and stupid questions that I can remember of the top of my head include:

1.) "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DIETING FOR?" (this was ruthless and most offensive and hurt the most like a spear in chest. Sorry had to write this one in capitals. Actually they all were pretty thoughtless)

2.) "How could you not eat for so long? I could never do anything like that”

3.) "I never thought guys can have eating disorders!!" (this one should be given a prize actually. Asked by a girl!)

So it all ended up as a bit of a joke really, but then I decided to have a bit of light-hearted laugh with my newly made friends about my situation than have them ignorantly gossip behind my back which no doubt they still do. I guess I gave their empty minds something to do. I didn't approach the union or management because I didn't want to make things from bad to worse. I guess once has to pick thier battles wisely in life.

Whether they are stupid comments like above, team meetings or really awkward questions they all can make work so unpleasant and unhealthy place to be. And when it comes to staff night outs I still have to explain my manager firmly that I am unable to eat in restaurants and I nearly had a panic attack once when he said I have to stay back after work for drinks to meet our new REA. But I left after 5 min anyway as I abstain from drinking.

My colleagues, mental health and work they all are driving me nuts. Somedays are worse than others but everyday is a struggle really and I would really like to know how other people cope at work and if their manager/supervisors are supportive and aware of it. thanks

[BballJ]

Hi ~FallenAngel~,

You'll have to excuse me if I haven't read earlier posts from yourself but can I safely assume you have been dealing with anorexia? Apologies if this is silly guess but just from what you were saying I wasn't sure completely of your background with mental health.

My manager found out about my mental health issues and I was surprisingly supported in such a great way, I never once wanted to say anything about it to anyone, tried to hide it like yourself but the signs always manage to come up when you're dealing with any mental issue. I haven't ever told the staff so I haven't had to deal with what you have had to deal with. I have read many posts on here about people leaving their jobs due to their mental health concerns.

Do you feel anxiety and stress when you go to work each day? It is good that your boss has an understanding of your issues and seem supportive cause that all helps. May I ask, apart from the doctors are you also seeing a psychologist to help with everything? One thing that helped me the most was seeing a psychologist and it taught me how to control my anxiety.

Sorry I wasn't of much help in terms of advice, just wanted to write and offer my support.

My best for you,

Jay

[Sophie_M]

Hi everyone, there is some more background information in FallenAngel's introduction thread here:

Hi, thank you for adding me!! weight issues, anorexia and other mental health issues, struggling, gu...

[_FallenAngel_]

Thanks Sophie_M. I am really sorry as I just got home now and just logged in 😞

Hi Jay, thank you for your message and support. Yes you r spot on. It is anorexia and alcohol use disorder (recently diagnosed), anxiety disorder and OCD. I have seen quite a number of psychiatrists and pretty much every one of them came up with a new diagnosis for me lol

I hate going to work. It gives me so much anxiety as soon as I walk into that place from simple communication to team meetings, it can be very challenging. I do go and see counselors at EAP and they are happy to assist me whenever I want to see them but it's not like they provide you with full on cbt... but it's still something and gives me a chance to leave work and go into town.

I don't currently see a psychologist as the one I used to see (almost 9 months ago now) had to leave for further studies and she gave me names of three different but I never bothered because I didn't want to try from scratch. I felt quite comfortable where I was at that stage. But then I started treating my psychiatrist as my psychologist instead and leaned on him tbh everything went haywire as I started asking for prescriptions from him instead of seeing my GP who was much firmer and started being dishonest with my ED therapist often missing appointments and so on, hidin information from them about missing food and excercise and constantly worry that I am going to lose control... and boy I did before I knew i relapsed. Anyway the jigsaw puzzle was solved when I had an accident and my car was written off. The blood analysis revealed shocking results and the hospital staff was clever enough and communicated with my health professionals even though I provided them with wrong names. Things went fine for few months and then it derailed again and i thought stuff it, its like no matter what you do, how hard you try, it's a life long journey. You can't fix it. You can only stabalise it. And I don't know if I am ready yet. recovery only happens with enough support otherwise it's not worth all the time and effort you invest and fail. You only end up hating yourself more afterwards.

[BballJ]

Hi ~FallenAngel~,

Apologies for my late response, haven't been on the forums.

A very interesting story you have written there and one that has been quite tough I can see.. my advice to you is head back and see a psychologist, I know you connected with the one you had but you said it yourself you were doing so well when seeing them. Sometimes having a new psychologist can open up different avenues of thinking which is quite amazing for yourself and having new recovery methods. You have been trying for so long by the sounds of it and deserve to be happy and in a good place, you owe it to yourself to keep seeking as much as help as possible. It is a life long journey these mental health recoveries but they are worth it in the long term when you can look back and say I came from there and it made me the strong person I am today.

My best,

Jay