I soooo hear you on this one. I lived it for years. For starters, know that there are many others who have traveled this path and come out the other side. For brevity's sake, I won't go into the details of my own struggle, but I will say that for me, and we each are different in what form of instruction we can benefit in, the straight up Lucinda Bassett book 'Attacking Anxiety and Depression' (I even ordered and followed the program from an infomercial many years ago) was a significant help for me, in addition to first benadryl, then wellbutrin. What was most appealing to me in this book were her vivid descriptions of the feelings I was having, and an explanation as to what was happening and why. There is a particular story she detailed in her book that I often think about as I live my life. When watching a friend skiing down the slope, you can choose to either embrace the feeling as positive exceitement and think 'weeeeeee!!!', or you can allow yourself to embrace the experience as fear and endure much pain. Maybe silly and simple, but it might be helpful. Also, practice deep breaths, and a small trick for me if fear arises while I am driving, I place my hand on one knee to reset the chi. Last thought on this is a relaxation recording that I use when needed, and that I have shared with many, many friends, is Beth Freschi's 'A Time For Relaxation'. I will caution you to NOT listen to this while driving as I never once have been able to wakefully listen to the section on positive affirmations as I am fast asleep by then. Best to you.
M.
