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Tailgated
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Hello. I was badly tailgated on a busy highway today and I wondered if there are any tips regarding how I could have got out of the situation sooner and/or how I can de-stress. I am feeling a bit nervous still - about four hours later - and haven't been able to handle any other stressful moments well since then (eg I got an email from a motel I stayed at saying they think I slept in both beds in my room so have to charge me another $15 a night - meaning they don't change sheets between guests if the 2nd bed doesn't look slept in - and I can't stop feeling yuck about that...)
Anyway... back to the drive. A truck was going much slower than me so I moved to the right (overtaking) lane to overtake - at the time, there were no cars in that lane near me. Then as I almost passed the truck it started speeding up to the 100kmh limit. I was about to slow down to go back behind it but a 4wd had come up behind me and I couldn't see their headlights they were so close. I was going the speed limit and they were pushing me to go faster. I didn't. But I couldn't slow down or merge left (as the truck was now going the same speed as me). It continued for about 2 minutes. I was so scared. Then the limit changed to 110kmh so I quickly sped up to that and managed to get in front of the truck on the left. I was boxed in for that time and felt like my life was in serious danger. I am so upset by what the driver of the 4wd did - he could see I was in a situation I couldn't get out of. Further, the truck would have witnessed this too yet made the situation worse - and I couldn't help but assume he did it for kicks. I felt so distressed that a human can do this to another and feel okay about it.
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Hi Guest_342,
Welcome to the forum.
Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm sorry for the terrible case.
Your description is so detailed, it makes me feel like I'm there. And I would feel the same if it was me. The behaviour of the 4wd driver was illegal and immoral. Unfortunately I don't think there's much you can do to get him punished unless you have a dash cam, which can be very frustrating for you.
Think about this:
1. You were doing nothing wrong, you strictly followed the traffic rules and didn't exceed the speed limit even at that extreme situation. I trust you won't regret your right decision, so you should feel justified and contented. And your right behaviour will keep you safe in the future.
2. The 4wd driver has a dangerous driving habit and he's the one to be worried about. He won't be always blessed.
I hope that puts you at ease a little bit.
Mark
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Hi Guest_342
Am an absolute ranter when it comes to tailgaters. They truly get my blood boiling. They are arrogant, self serving, self righteous, unintelligent bleeps. I can feel what they do to me. I'm enraged by what that person put you through while feeling for you so deeply, so very deeply. How dare they put you through that.
As a mum who's currently teaching my 20yo daughter to drive, I've found sharing a certain mindset to be incredibly important based on certain drivers behaving like bleeps. Btw, I'll use the word bleep so as not to offend, when it comes to more colourful language. A tip I've given my daughter: You can always spot a bleep on the road. The have a couple of key traits. One involves tailgating and the other involves them beeping their horn at you because that's one of their forms of aggressive asinine communication. I tell my daughter 'With tailgaters, you'll feel what they do to your nervous system. While you're feeling it, try and also get a sense of their pure stupidity. If they're really stupid, they'll tailgate and beep the horn. The more they beep or the closer they get relates to their level of stupidity. For example, one beep = stupid, 2 tells you they're very stupid, 3 = seriously and if they beep you continuously just know they are the stupidest driver you've ever come across. Their beeping or lack of distance is them announcing what level they're on 😁
Being able to feel the nature of others on the road as you also feel the challenges your nervous system poses is a massive challenge as a driver. I've found getting a feel for the good and considerate drivers helps in managing. Personally I dread the freeway based on it having such a high number of fools on it, on certain days. It can actually amaze me at times and enrage me. I typically manage through my breathing. Vent, vent, vent that build up of stress or rage through long slow breaths out.
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Thank you so much, Mark. Your comments, and those of therising below, really helped me feel a bit better. I did some driving yesterday and today and actually felt quite at peace on the road. I didn't find myself dreading approaching drivers and, while some were a little close and others pushed in in front to reduce my safe gap, it didn't bother me too much. I felt a real sense of acceptance that I can only control how I drive, not their driving.
I feel like this partly is thanks to your thoughtful responses. Thank you sincerely.
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Hi therising. Thank you so much. Please see my response above to Mark - that is also directed towards you. Wishing you all the best with the driving lessons. I'm so pleased to hear your daughter is learning from such a sensible instructor.