Separation Anxiety?

[Hppyf33t]

Hi everyone,


This is my first post and I’m very new to all this so bear with me.


I have been suffering with anxiety for the past 6 months and I’m at my wits end. I have never ever felt like this before. I have seen my GP about this.
I know what has triggered it and I’m not coping very well at all.

After living in the one town for over 10 years (we have moved a lot with my husbands work around the state) with my husband and two children. We have now gone through some BIG changes in our family and living situation.
Both the kids have moved out of home to different towns and my husband and I have also moved to a new town as empty nesters.
One child now lives 8 hours away and the other 4.5 hours.
The reason for our move was my husband resigned from a job that he was in for a very long time as he wasn’t happy there anymore and was very stressed. He was offered a new job with another company in another town that he loves. I left a job that I had been in for 10 years and enjoyed.
We are now living in our own home for the first time in our 28 years of marriage which I was so looking forward to.
We weighed up all the pros and cons about this move and felt it was the right thing for us and our future.
But things haven’t gone as well as I had hoped with all the changes. (For me anyway)
My husband is doing fine and he knows that I am struggling and has been very supportive.
I’ve got friends here and I got another job but I’m not enjoying it and want to leave but it’s really hard to find work in the town so I feel I’m stuck there for the time being.
We try and see the kids as much as possible as I miss them desperately.
We see friends often and keep ourselves busy getting our house to how we want it.
I’ve also just had a major operation which I needed weeks off work.
All this tied together has put me in the place I’m in now.
I have the same thoughts going around in my head over and over, what if?? What if we didn’t make these changes?? My heart feels heavy and broken, I’m not sleeping well so I’m tired, I’ve lost a lot of weight as I’ve lost my appetite, I cry a lot, I zone out and just have this numb feeling through my body. I feel lonely and lost. It takes effort to get up and go for the day. I don’t have much energy to do anything but I make myself push through the day.
Is this separation anxiety? Will it pass eventually? Has anyone else experienced these feelings after such changers? TIA.

[Jackson85]

Hi H@ppyf33t,

Thanks for posting your story, that sounds really difficult with everything changing at once, and it's totally normal to be shaken up by such major shifts in your life. You mentioned that you have moved a lot around because of your husband's job, have you ever felt this way after a move before? Sometimes when we look back we can forget the hard parts, and only remember the good times, so then when it gets hard again we feel like it's unprecedented!

I think you're doing great, it would be so difficult having everything change at once, and having your children so far away; I can understand that it must be hard not seeing them that often. Have you thought about talking to someone about how down you're feeling? Some of the ways you describe how you feel near the end of your post are similar to how people feel when they're suffering from depression. Have you thought about perhaps going to see a psychologist to talk through this stuff? I know when I've had problems in the past with depression or anxiety, it's been so helpful to have a caring ear to open up to, and they have always helped me find exactly what I need to take the next steps.

It's great to hear that your husband is supportive, and that you guys are in your own home! I know that things are a bit hard right now, but as you move through this phase you'll be able to start nesting and make that place your own 🙂

Feel free to keep the chat going,

Jackson85

[Hppyf33t]

Thank you for your reply Jackson85 and for your positive comments.

I have never felt like this any of our other moves. Even when we we’re first married with no kids and I moved out of home for the first time and to a town some 1400km away. Yes I was a little home sick but I seemed to have coped well. But the biggest impact on this move is that the kids didn’t come with us this time.

I will go talk to a psychologist. Especially if this is depression. I just wanted to see if what I was feeling is normal or just a phase that would pass. But I do feel it’s going on to long.

Thanks again.

[Jackson85]

Hi H@ppyf33t,

It is absolutely normal, and it sounds really difficult. The important thing is that you're taking steps, like posting here, to get your happiness back. I think you're doing great and that talking to someone will be really beneficial. Best of luck, I'll be thinking of you 🙂

Jackson85

[Hppyf33t]

Hi, so today I’ve been to see my GP to get a referral to see a phycologist.

She gave me the K10 test to bring home and complete. I will go back tomorrow and see her again and have an extended appointment so she assess me and put me on a mental health care plan and point me in the right direction.

See how we go from here.

[Jackson85]

Hey H@@pyf33t,

Nice job! I hope you're feeling a bit more optimistic about it all, but anytime you are feeling a bit unsure (or anytime at all in fact), feel free to post again, we will be here to support you 🙂

Hang in there,

Jackson85

[White_Rose]

Dear Tia

Hello and welcome. First posts are often a bit nerve wracking but you have now made three. Congratulations.

In a list of stressful activities moving house is right up there. Add to that your children have moved out of home and you have left a job you enjoyed all to go to place you know little about and working in a job that you do not enjoy and I think you were an accident waiting to happen. Not surprising you feel anxious and quite probably a little depressed.

It's a smart move to chat to someone who can help you manage this huge change in your life. The K10 is not a diagnostic tool but it certainly gives an indication of where you are. I think your GP is great by starting with this. He/she may offer you medication, I don't know, but it may be an idea to think about this. Sometimes it's helpful and at other times it doesn't do much. See what the GP thinks.

Please come back and tell us how you are going.

Mary

[Hppyf33t]

Thank you for your reply Mary,

yes I most definitely feel I have crashed and my wounds just won’t heal.

I have been back to my GP and my K10 test was in the high bracket. She has suggested medications but I really want to see how I go talking with someone first. She gave me the referral I needed to make an appointment to see a psychologist. I went to their office straight away. Only to find out I’ll have to wait 4-6 weeks before I’ll be able to see them.

This just put me on a real low and I come home and had a massive meltdown. I try to carry on my day as normal but it all just becomes to much.

Thanks again.

[Hppyf33t]

Hi again,

just a quick update. I received a phone call yesterday and have now got an appointment to see a psychologist on Tuesday. Feeling a little better about sorting all this out. Small steps forward. 😌

[Jackson85]

That's great 🙂

It sounds like you're moving in the right direction, good on you!

Jackson85