Hello everyone.
I have been really struggling today, and I thought writing here might help.
What I am about to describe may sound weird, but it is a true feeling for me. I wondered if anyone else reading has experience of it?
Every now and then, I get this terrible sense of impending doom.
Like, everything, everything, is about to go horribly wrong.
I have realised that I have been having these feelings semi-frequently for the last few years.
A few years ago I experienced an intense trauma in my life, and I'm wondering now if there are triggers, like little, tiny things, that possibly happened before the trauma, that I am not necessarily conscious of, that again happen now, in my life, and set me off on this spiral of doom.
This morning, the feeling of impending doom had me thinking that the police were likely to turn up at my door and take me to prison.
My life is good.
I am safe.
In my house.
Consistently not committing crimes.
And yet ... occasionally this feeling that the world is conspiring against me and everything good is about to implode just takes over.
I understand that it's irrational, but there's something that sends me in a spiral, and anything simple can bring me back up that spiral as well, like a text from a friend, or something tiny like that. It brings me back to safety.
I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else feels this way. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I thought I might feel some relief voicing this in a safe space.
I'm not really looking for advice or anything, just kind of wanted a place to talk about it, not just for me but for anyone who experiences this.
I feel so vulnerable.
I mentioned something similar to my dad once and he said it's because I have a guilty conscience.
🌻birdy
