Sales Job - Severe Anxiety for over 15 years

[Mandela007]

Hi all,

I work in technology sales and have struggled with debilitating anxiety for over 15 years. It's a field where you are expected to be fearless, confident and tackle challenges. I recently started a new job which is intense and everyone is extremely confident and extroverted. The company is all about raising the bar, and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. I have always had an overwhelming sense of dread when it comes to my job. I don't fit the sales mould - I am introvert, hate networking, hate social events, and like to stay in my comfort zone.

A few years ago when I came out of university I landed in tech sales and was asked to do a presentation at a conference in my first 2 months. I suffocated with fear, had sleepless for weeks in the lead up. On the day my mouth was dry, I felt dizzy with fear, felt like I couldn't breathe and rushed through my 1 hour long presentation in 15 minutes. It was one of the most humiliating days of my life.

Today, I still think back to that incident. I still suffer from debilitating anxiety and with my new job I have training coming up next week. Part of that training is the most dreaded thing I have encountered in my life "Sales Role Plays" which are done in front of a group. I have been losing sleep over this, neglecting my 12 week old child, and feeling overwhelmed with what I will be faced with next week. I have low confidence, and everyone else makes these things look easy with their confidence. In the past I have avoided things like this by pretending I was sick, or simply not showing up to activities that involve presenting or role playing.

I am struggling to cope. I am having thoughts about quitting my new job already and am feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious beyond belief. This weekend is going to be a nightmare for me as I count down to the dreaded training starting on Monday as if I am counting down my last days on death row.

Is there anyone who can help?

[Sophie_M]

Hey Mandela007, thank you for joining our forums tonight. We deeply empathise with your situation and understand the feelings of fear and dread for public speaking that you describe. We're so sorry to hear how stressful, restless and anxious you have been feeling, this must be so difficult. Please know that you're not alone and there will be members of this community who also relate to what you are describing.

Can we ask if you are you currently receiving mental health support, or have you in the past? If not, we would urge that you do seek professional support to help you work through these feelings that you're experiencing. If you are not sure of how to access mental health support, please contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way

Although we don't want to discourage you from performing a job you are experienced in and can easily acquire. We feel it might be useful for you to see what other jobs are out there and could be better suited to your personality and needs. A commonly used career assessment tool is the Self-Directed Search - you can access it for free here: https://app.self-directed-search.com/en/SDS?sdscd=PARSDS-6700F98HV65&_ga=2.27305724.1725429477.1602...

Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Mandela007,

Welcome to the BB forums - public presentations can be the worst as you feel the eyes of everyone upon you, and you have had bad experiences in the past which will compound your anxiety...

... Hang on, this is TRAINING - where fears, techniques, and mistakes are part of the experience. This is your chance to have all of these things addressed for you, and I hope you can immerse yourself in the experience for your benefit and for those who most likely have the same issues as you to some degree. Your efforts/fumbles can also be for their benefit, as much as theirs can be for you. Some will have helpful tips in their methods to project confidence and you can apply them to your own approach.

Here is where you can express your needs openly and positively to overcome your inhibitions - ask questions, say silly things, and have a laugh at your own insecurities, and then wait for the constructive feedback. It's a game you play and to help you find strategies to reassure you in the real world.

You actually need this, and I think you may even enjoy it as you begin to settle in. Try to acknowledge that you have as much a role to support as be supported and you may be helping someone overcome their anxieties in the process.

Go in with an open mind and fear nothing - you will surely leave feeling motivated and inspired.

Regards,

t.

[Mandela007]

Thank you for the responses. Yes I had my first visit ever to psychologist last week. It was an initial meeting to understand the problem and I have a follow up this coming week. I don't think she truly understands the severity of the anxiety though, as I got the impression she thought it was mild (when the anxiety sets in I feel sick, develop diarrhea, start to sweat, feel dizzy and feel like I can't swallow or breathe).

I struggle to embrace and immerse myself in training activities like this because my confidence is so low, and I know everyone on the training is far better than I am. They also speak fluently and confidently while I stutter my way through my sentences. It's hard for me to imagine how I got here and keep asking myself "why me" when i think about it.

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Mandela007,

The best tip I can suggest is to remind yourself "It's not about you".

To help me with a pressure speech, I prefer to focus on what I say over how I am seen - the latter only shuts my thoughts down as my attention goes to all the little things I feel about other people's expressions (mostly imagined, but can be triggered by catching a glance, cough, or gesture).

Avoiding looking at the audience directly is a good beginning, but this can backfire as the unknown can be worse. Finding an interesting pot plant or feature is always a friendly face! Later you can learn to look 'through' your audience as a means toward more engaging presentations, and eventually you will seize the chance to connect with individuals to really involve the group (asking questions can be useful).

Another handy tip - Keep moving. No, don't dance around like a fool, but maintaining some motion/momentum with a step or two can actually add dynamism if you time it well. It prevents you feeling 'glued' and trapped and you can feel empowered by occasionally crossing the room to make a point.

Having a white board/screen to point to is also a useful diversion to collect your thoughts when feeling exposed. Equally, hands and arms draw attention away from you as eyes will follow your motioning.

Watch for some of these techniques during training, and above all, speak what you believe. You won't have time to worry about anything else.

Please make the most of your sessions - not for your job, but for you.

Regards,

t.

[flower_girl1]

Hi Mandela,

You sound like me. I've been in sales for 6 years or more and I've actually never enjoyed the sales part. I'm quite and I don't like meeting lots of new people or being put on the spot, and boy do I hate role plays.

My best advice for the role plays is if you know it's coming days in advance try to prepare some answers, it's like studying for a test. Even if you have to do it on the weekend, it's worth it. Try to imagine what questions they are going to ask you and prepare your answers. That way when they question comes up your not as nervous. It works for me.

[Mandela007]

Thank you for the advice. Say to say after a 4 month struggle I have decided to resign from the role. My anxiety reached new heights, and it got to the point where my life was not enjoyable anymore. I am working with a professional, but I can't help feeling sad that I failed and couldn't make it. The last 48 hours have been the loneliest of my life. I wish I was a confident person.

[Ocdiff]

Hey Mandela007 hope you are feeling better! Just reading through your thread as I suffer similar work anxiety. Do not feel like you failed because you resigned!! You did what was right for you!!! You should look foward to a happier future. Resigning is really daunting, so i congratulate you on taking on that and doing the right thing for your mental wellbeing!!👍 you have given me some hop amd drive in my current situation, so thank you!!

All the best

[ThomasJakeLim]

Hi there...I am an introvert and looking for a new job due to restructuring. Dont see your current situation as a failure. It's ok to be an introvert. We all have strengths and weakness. Been a tough year. I feel your every emotion. Big hugs.

[blondguy]

Hi ThomasJakeLim

Just saying thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue forum family! You are spot on as being an introvert is okay for sure! Thanks for jumping in and providing support for others on the forums 🙂

If we didnt have new members the forums would cease to exist. New members bring their own life experience which provides benefits so many people

my kind thoughts

Paul