Rusty

[Rusty]

I am dealing with depression, anxiety and loneliness. I am working on connecting with other people and just visited a neighbour and had a nice chat and felt quite good, but I came home and began to feel lonely again. I’m curious to know if anyone has had this happen to them or felt this way and maybe some tips to overcome this?

[Rusty]

Hi Melodica

Thanks for you reply. I have certainly know a few things that work for me, I have started a morning routine of coffee at a local cafe which I enjoy. I have found the worst time for me with the anxiety and loneliness is in the evening when my day is done and I’m just relaxing before bedtime. I’m sometimes not sure why, other times I think it is because I would love someone to be around, not necessarily to talk about how I feel but just for company. 
I know it’s a journey and it’s good to take small steps but it is hard to imagine being in the position where I’m happier and able to deal anxiety better when I’m not sure how long it will be before that happens.

[Alikiwi]

Hi Rusty,

Well I certainly know where you're coming from, loneliness is my constant companion, I never have visitors and very rarely hear from anyone, and never anyone local. I honestly don't know what the answer is, we just keep plodding along hoping it will improve. Not having anyone to talk to is rather soul destroying. The cafe routine sounds like a good idea, sadly nothing like that in my small town. I do take myself on bush walks, used to do that with a club but their walks are too long for me now, and causes the arthritis to flare up so limited myself to shorter walks. Hope things improve for you.

[Rusty]

Hi Alikiwi

Thank you for your reply. It is rather soul destroying especially when there seems like there is no simple solution. I live in a larger town with more opportunities, like clubs and coffee shops, that I can use.

You may have already done this but have you talk to anyone in the walking club if they like to do shorter walks. It might be possible that the club or someone in the club may wish to do shorter walks with you.

I hope you are able to find some connection with someone as I do know how you feel 

I wish you the best and feel free to chat anytime.

[Rusty]

Good morning 

Time for a nice coffee before heading to see some music at a music festival. It’s uplifting to have a surprise of finding some of my cousins are here also and to catch up to enjoy some good music with.

I hope everyone is having a great day too.

[melodica]

Hello Rusty, 

There is nothing quite like a good morning coffee. I am glad you will see people you know at the music festival, and I hope you enjoy it. Let us know what it was like and the bands you saw. 

[Rusty]

Hi Melodica

I’m really enjoying the festival, listening to an artist at the moment, Anj Sing Anj, a Balinese multi instrumentalist. Really nice music.

[Rusty]

As much as I have been progressing, I still get anxiety in the evening, tonight is no exception. In about a month I’m going to a 7 day arts and music festival (as a volunteer)which I feel would bring a lot of connection and enjoyment. 
I’m at the point where I’m so terrified of not being able to connect or enjoy the festival because of my anxiety it seems so overwhelming that I’m thinking of pulling out. 
The anxiety gets so bad that, like now, I can’t explain in words how I feel.

[melodica]

Hello Rusty,

I can relate deeply to your post.  When I started as a vocalist with an organization, I would freeze completely during rehearsals for the first three months. The stipend did not stop my throat from closing up or the panic from overwhelming my breath. I could not articulate the fear to anyone, yet I continued.

Being transparent with the organisers transformed my experience. I worked with a psychologist to develop grounding techniques specifically for performance anxiety. Almost two years later, I am still involved, though those early sessions felt impossible.

Pforh you could negotiate  a flexible role that does not require constant social performance. You might request backstage tasks, shorter shifts, or a buddy system where you shadow someone initially. Meeting one organiser for coffee beforehand can create a familiar face in the crowd.

Scope out quiet zones at the festival grounds in advance and identify a sensory retreat space. Arrange a check in system with a friend outside the festival who can coach you through moments when words fail.  Volunteering does not demand perfection, they want you to succeed and enjoy it. 

[Rusty]

Hi Melodica

Thanks for your reply. There are some good points. As usual my anxiety doesn’t help to explain things properly. I am volunteering but am very confident at that. The problem is that is my first time at this festival I feel like I don’t know anyone going. I feel that when I get there I’ll get so overwhelmed that I’ll want to run and hide. It’s pretty scary and daunting.

[Rusty]

Good morning everyone 

Looking forward to my morning coffee, especially after a bit of an anxious night.

I feel good this morning having gathered my thoughts and have a few things to help me move forward.

Hope everyone is enjoying a nice coffee and enjoys the day