Hello,
Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.
I think you did very well putting your feelings into words. I want to be upfront and say I have never had children, but I still feel I can be an effective contributor to your post.
I think there would be very few responsible and loving parents who don't have some anxiety and concerns for their children at any age, it is all part of the deal when you decide to have children. The time when it becomes a problem for yourself and those around you, is when it becomes obsessive and all consuming.
There are a couple of questions I would like you to think about.
Have you raised your teenager to be a kind, caring and thoughtful human being?
Do you have the type of relationship where you are able to have open and honest communication with each other?
If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then you have done your job as a responsible parent in producing the best human being they can be.
If the answer is no, those are the things you could put more time into from here.
Children are meant to make mistakes, as you have said, it is the only way they can learn. You have no control over that part, but you can be there to help them learn from the mistakes they do make. My own mother was overbearing and held on too tightly and I feel I missed out on a lot of experiences as a result. It also had a negative effect on my mental health.
My best suggestion would be to find a counsellor to talk things through with and learn some tools and strategies to keep your anxiety in check. Your lives are not meant to be this complicated and your worrying will only make you unwell in the long term.
There are a few ways you can go about this.
Your GP can arrange a mental health plan to see a counsellor.
You can call the helplines to get advice on counselling in your area.
Or you can independently look for a counsellor online in your area and contact them.
Many offer telehealth via zoom or similar, which may be an option if you are time poor or if you cannot find a therapist nearby.
You deserve to be living a life that is not constantly filled with stress, you owe it to yourself and to your family to take the steps necessary to make that a reality.
I hope this helps and please feel free to continue the conversation if you wish.
Take good care of yourself,
indigo
