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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Guest_38211803 University resulting in anxiety!
  • replies: 1

Hi! Does anyone else feel so anxious about uni, I feel as though I’m not good enough, not smart enough! I have poor time management skills and my anxiety causes me to procrastinate! Leaving assignments late and therefore I stress!! I know this is a c... View more

Hi! Does anyone else feel so anxious about uni, I feel as though I’m not good enough, not smart enough! I have poor time management skills and my anxiety causes me to procrastinate! Leaving assignments late and therefore I stress!! I know this is a common feeling but if any of you have anxiety and also study let me know of any tips that help you feel motivate and strive! I’m really feeling the stress right now being mid semester and all. Comparing myself to other students and doubting myself a lot…. I need advice on how to overcome my negative thoughts. Thank you!

Guest_2496 Diabetes T2
  • replies: 6

Have been living with anxiety for many years though I can go for long periods without it really being a problem. Recently diagnosed with diabetes T2 and anxiety has really ramped up ever since. Tried different meds, side effects, just getting my head... View more

Have been living with anxiety for many years though I can go for long periods without it really being a problem. Recently diagnosed with diabetes T2 and anxiety has really ramped up ever since. Tried different meds, side effects, just getting my head around the diagnosis itself, and new and old weird body sensations. Just so sad and anxious…

7879 Anxiety from a change in job
  • replies: 3

HiI'm feeling very anxious due to a change in my life from changing to a new job and moving from the country to city after covid forced me to move to country....Have some good feelings but my mind wanders to what I have left behind.. coming back home... View more

HiI'm feeling very anxious due to a change in my life from changing to a new job and moving from the country to city after covid forced me to move to country....Have some good feelings but my mind wanders to what I have left behind.. coming back home to the city.. sleep very lightly and wake up 3am with a wandering mind

bpdcarer BPD wife, moving forward and being happy
  • replies: 10

Hi, I am a mid 40s male, married for 16 years with 3 kids (11-15 years). My wife has undiagnosed BPD and refuses to get help. She doesn't know she has BPD but she checks all the boxes and 3 separate psychs (that I have seen alone) have told me that i... View more

Hi, I am a mid 40s male, married for 16 years with 3 kids (11-15 years). My wife has undiagnosed BPD and refuses to get help. She doesn't know she has BPD but she checks all the boxes and 3 separate psychs (that I have seen alone) have told me that is what I'm dealing with. I'm at the stage where I need to make some serious decisions. She is pretty much out of control now and the abuse toward me and the kids is becoming too much. And it’s having long term effects on them, I’ve begged her to see someone for help but she refuses and doesn’t think psychologists help anyone. So I have gone by myself to get some answers. Her outlet is drinking which she does daily, she drinks excessively and is extremely aggressive, abusive and volatile. She cycles very rapidly and at times will often (3-4 times a year) just up and leave the home, threatening to harm herself for a night or two. While myself and the kids are left at home not knowing if she is actually going to go ahead with what she told us. She has no friends (because no friend can live up to her expectations, the moment they change a plan or do something she isn’t prepared for, she will cull them), she has started now to remove her family (siblings) from her life because she believes they are toxic and they can be (they likely have BPD too, from what I’ve seen). We (the kids and I) walk on eggshells daily, doing our best to not say, do something to upset her. The smallest thing (spilling some milk on the kitchen bench) will set her off. Not a day goes by without yelling and abusive behavior. She is rude to pretty much everyone, no respect for anyone (even the elderly) and goes around like she is entitled and above everyone else. I’m lost and I have no idea what to do next. I want to leave and find happiness but I cannot leave the kids with her as she is not stable enough.I truly don’t trust her with them and the kids have mentioned to me they don’t want to be alone with her. I have a diary from the past 3-4 years of all the episodes we have experienced and it’s not pretty. I’m so sad that the woman I loved and married can be so horrible to us. What do I do? I have done so much research on this disorder, I understand that she is not in control and doesn’t mean the horrible things she says, but how can the kids understand that? I do still love her and I wish her to get better but I cannot live like this anymore. Is leaving the only option? I know this will trigger her really bad and I don’t even know how to bring it up.

Beyond348 Health Anxiety? Depression?
  • replies: 6

Hello all I am new here, after being referred by one of the crisis support callers. It has been four years since I lost two immediate families due to heart attacks. Since then I have been to the doctors and emergency department getting reassurance fr... View more

Hello all I am new here, after being referred by one of the crisis support callers. It has been four years since I lost two immediate families due to heart attacks. Since then I have been to the doctors and emergency department getting reassurance from the doctors, but when I would come home, I would sit here thinking the doctors missed something and that they just write it off as anxiety without doing further investigations. This led to developing panic attacks with fears of leaving the house or I would have a heart attack or stroke and developing agoraphobia for the last 12 months and isolation. I also have a hard time switching my brain off and trying to relax when there are so many dark clouds hanging over my head with the what ifs.

Wally Broken Relationship
  • replies: 2

Hey guys, Long story short. I have been in a long distant relationship almost 2.5years. Basically waiting on separation and divorce which I know through her and her family. I messed up last year and cheated with my ex. Well this year, the same thing ... View more

Hey guys, Long story short. I have been in a long distant relationship almost 2.5years. Basically waiting on separation and divorce which I know through her and her family. I messed up last year and cheated with my ex. Well this year, the same thing happened but on her side and now is pregnant. She still wants to go through the divorce and be with me. We both felt broken, betrayed and all the emotional feelings that go with it. We had reconciled last year and had been going strong. Religion plays a big part on her side which in all honesty has made this really complicated. We both have 2 children each. We had always been opened and honest with each other in most cases. Our connection was very strong. Im really lost in whether to walk away or try and sort it eventually. I know most people would walk away. There still are other factors I haven't put in here just due to complexity. We both had our dreams and goals that were in line with each other. If she wasn't pregnant this would be easier to sort out. Im really lost as to lose her forever or take that chance. I honestly don't know if we are the same anymore. Any advice from anyone that has been in this type of situation would be greatly appreciated. I cant really talk to my friends or family, because they would just tell me to move on. Thank you for reading this far.

Claremary Relationship Anxiety Problems
  • replies: 6

I have just recently become engaged (December last year) to my partner of 4 years. For the longest time I was so happy, I loved him deeply and I was always grateful to have him in my life. He is a genuinely lovely person, kind and caring. He is drive... View more

I have just recently become engaged (December last year) to my partner of 4 years. For the longest time I was so happy, I loved him deeply and I was always grateful to have him in my life. He is a genuinely lovely person, kind and caring. He is driven and has designed this beautiful future for us together which I thought I was really on board with! I was excited and content. A few months after we got engaged, we went away on an engagement trip, and that night, within in 1 split second, the thoughts "Call off the engagement and leave" blasted through my mind and I had the most surreal panic attack of my life. (I have always had anxiety + depression) He was able to help me calm down and we ended up having a good night - just with me having this little weight now in the back of my mind. Fast forward a month and an entire mental breakdown due to this, I am still with him but am still constantly fluctuating between being okay and sure and then being not okay and unsure. I have been very open (to a degree, I havent told him absolutely everything) and he has been so supportive and caring and lovely and all I want is for it to just go back to how it was. It was a 1 second flip and its changed everything. I am just not sure if this is a genuine feeling I should honour and leave (I feel like I would regret it), or if this is past trauma flaring up due to getting engaged (Bad childhood, abusive/evasive parents, no stability, past relationships being utter chaos). Its getting to the point where leaving to get some relief from the constant fluctuation has become appealing, but in saying that I still don't fully want to leave, there is still a part of me in those moments that doesn't want to go. I dont know what to do, and we have to confirm and pay a 4k deposit on the venue by end of this week. Even now, I am excited and want to go ahead but also hesitant. I think I am driving myself insane. Note: I am seeing a psychologist now and we have adressed it - he believes it could be my abandonment + negativity/pessimistic schema at play here which is distorting my reality. Extra Note: I do believe we are soul mates - which makes this even more confusing!

Guest_08336475 I'm spiraling, I think I am anyway. don't want to self diagnose
  • replies: 1

I don't really know anymore. I'm currently in high school and things are (to be honest) the best they've EVER been for me, even back when I was like 4 life seemed to suck. My dad was mildly abusive it's not like he beat me everyday but he would yell ... View more

I don't really know anymore. I'm currently in high school and things are (to be honest) the best they've EVER been for me, even back when I was like 4 life seemed to suck. My dad was mildly abusive it's not like he beat me everyday but he would yell a lot and hit us on occasion though only because he's diabetic and bad with his sugar levels, and in the past my school life had always sucked, bad grades, only ever one friend (before highschool), and I got bullied CONSTANTLY, it got to the point that I made a rumor and supported a rumor about myself essentially having a 'cheese touch' just so people would leave me the fuck alone, even developed mild psychosis as I started seeing things that weren't there and got these horrific nightmares that would range from my mother dying and being forced to live without her or just a straight up gore fest. anyway, my point is, it was bad, very bad. I KNOW that, but now that things are better, I have friends and only see my dad on occasional supervised visits, I just feel so, so, so off... I cry at things I feel I really shouldn't, and now whenever something happens I just hide away, I even ignore my friends for like long periods of time, which I can't get... Younger me would have loved 5 people (at least) to have friends like I do now yet whenever something happens I shrivel up and can't talk to them, then when I am ready to chat again it's been 4 days zero contact and showing up suddenly without any excuse would seem rude so I either don't or lie my ass off so they don't suspect anything and it feels so, so wrong! I end up breaking my back to make it up to them by helping them with school now that I get good grades but even then! All I end up doing to quell this sinking pit is indulge in mindless entertainment to not think about things and I end up thinking about how unproductive I am. This is getting long, OOF! but, I just need to know if there are any strategies I can do to stop this? I don't want to go insane again, because funny things is, once it happens you're completely unaware until after the fact... p.s, I'd prefer if 'talk to someone' isn't recommended I know really well how emo that sounds but, really, that's what I'm doing this for, so I can ramble to people without them having to know me.

believe248 Panic and Fainting
  • replies: 2

I've read that it is rare to actually pass out when having a panic attack. Unfortunately for me, it happens a lot. I pass out very easily when I start panicking. For instance, I passed out last weekend when I started to panic on the tram. I had that ... View more

I've read that it is rare to actually pass out when having a panic attack. Unfortunately for me, it happens a lot. I pass out very easily when I start panicking. For instance, I passed out last weekend when I started to panic on the tram. I had that little "what if" thought, and a minute later it escalated to full panic and then I blacked out. It comes on so fast I barely have time to try calming techniques. I passed out on the tram another time too. I started panicking, so I started walking to try and get off the tram and whilst walking I got really dizzy and fainted. I hit my head on the seat as I fell. I learnt from that, and now I know to stay put, or sit if I start feeling dizzy. I also fainted when I started having a panic attack whilst getting my hair done at the hairdressers. Similar experience - I started to panic, went dizzy, blacked out. The first time it happened was back in highschool, where I passed out doing a presentation to the class after freaking out. I've now developed a bad phobia of passing out. I hate the attention it brings when everyone is concerned (although of course I'm appreciative of their concern), but I hate making a scene. So now I'm to the point of feeling terrified when it comes to riding a bus, going on a plane, being on a tram, sitting in a grandstand, doing a presentation, or generally any situation where everyone will notice if I pass out. I'm wondering if anyone out there has experienced actual fainting after a panic attack. I'm going to try hypnotherapy this week to see if that helps with the phobia. Other than that, not sure what to do as it comes on SO fast and I hate that it is inhibiting my life. Also, I'm in early stages of pregnancy so I've had to stop taking medication, which was helping me, so that's making it worse.

not_really being an empath- energy, more prone to mental health related issues?
  • replies: 12

Hey everyone, I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this thread...? forgive me if it's in the wrong place. Side note: the cause of everyone's individual anxiety is different, and may even be a mix of factors. I'm merely going on a ... View more

Hey everyone, I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this thread...? forgive me if it's in the wrong place. Side note: the cause of everyone's individual anxiety is different, and may even be a mix of factors. I'm merely going on a psychology rant and trying to figure out what exactly was the root of my own anxiety. I've been thinking about this topic for a while (I'd say the past 3 months or so). Later last year I stumbled upon this idea of an 'empath', namely someone who is able to know and feel other people's emotions in themselves on a more acute level. I think everyone's capable of this, since humans are naturally adaptable beings, but in some this ability is significantly more heightened than others. The effects of other people's emotional influence would be increasingly more influential on someone who is an empath- think of it as close friends who eventually adopt each other's mannerisms, but with energy instead. That being made clear, are empaths in fact more prone to mental health issues such as anxiety? ((There is a difference between an empath and a highly sensitive person (sensitive to emotion, energy, vibrations)- not completely sure of the difference?.)) I've been thinking about this because of my own anxiety- I've realised that there was a significant shift in my mindset toward school, grades, things in general at one point in my high school life and that was exactly when I grew closer to my current close friend. I never used to worry about things or care about my grades until I started to hang around her a lot, and then I realised my mindset and my worries had become a lot like hers used to. She is an AMAZING friend, and her mental health and attitude towards school has improved so much throughout these years. In no way am I blaming my anxiety on her! I'm not a high level empath, but I think the energies of the people around me definitely has somewhat of an effect on me, to the point that I can actively notice the influence in my anxiety patterns and thinking. At the end of last year when my grade entered Year 12, I think there was just so much stress and expectation placed on study around me that I took a significant dip in both my mental health and my marks. I myself wasn't consciously stressed at all- but I guess my mind subconsciously was, and was absorbing the energies of those around me. If anyone has any thoughts or contribution to this topic- would love to hear your input!