Overwhelmed with life

[Hayls13]

Hi there,

I’ve been building up the courage to create an account and to post, so here I go..

Last year (2018) my sister’s mental health deteriorated which resulted in a suicide attempt. She was in and out of hospital for a few weeks.

I was very upset and stressed after that, but I tried my best to enter 2019 with a clear and positive mindset, however, within the first week of 2019 my mum told me she has breast cancer. I cried everyday for weeks and even typing this now I still feel emotional.

Two months later, I was involved in a car accident with my brother. At this point it felt like everything in my life was falling apart. Fortunately, my brother, the other driver and I had no major injuries. My car was a write off.

The thought of driving again is making me feel anxious and sick to the stomach. I constantly cry about it because I think of what could’ve happened to my brother if it had been worse. I’ve been having nightmares about it. The guilt is eating me alive.

I want to go to counselling, but I feel like an inconvenience to tell my mum (who is currently going through treatment for cancer) and dad, especially since I saw first hand what an impact my sister’s depression had on them. I don’t know who to speak to or how to get help.

I’m sorry if this is a long post. I hope to receive some advice on what to do.

Thank you.

[Alexlisa]

Hi Hayls,

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a difficult time. Any one of these things alone would be hard to deal with, but to have to face them all at once would be so tough. I’m glad you were brave enough to reach out here and you’re welcome on the forums as long as you need.

I know you’re worried about the effects your getting help might have on your parents, but it sounds like the wisest thing to do at this point. You have SO much to deal with and having your own, regular support at this time will be so important in getting you through. I keep thinking that it’s like on the plane when they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. You need to be able to keep your own strength, so that you can also be there for others in this tough time. I really think seeing a psychologist would be most helpful, and you deserve to be supported.

The first step would be to go to your GP to ask for a Mental Health Care Plan. This will entitle you to 10 sessions per year with a psychologist for free. Your GP might also be able to recommend someone. The other thing that I thought of is that the Cancer Council has a phone line that people with cancer and their families can call for support. They will understand more specifically what you’re going through and if there are other services out there that could help. Their number is 13 11 20.

You’re being so strong to get through this time, but I want you to know that it’s also ok to need help. I know reaching out can be hard, but you deserve not to do this alone.

Take care,

Alexlisa

[Hayls13]

Thank you Alexlisa for your reply. I really appreciate the support and advice:)

You’re right, speaking to my GP will be the first step in the right direction. Even though I’m nervous, I will speak to my parents about this.

Thank you again.

[silicontrip]

Hi Hayls,

It is very brave of you to reach out and say I need help. Many of us want to try and deal with it ourselves. Or write off what we are feeling because others close to us have it worse.

Doesn't matter how big or small the issue is, how you feel about it is valid. If you are unable to deal with spilt milk or be it the death of a close friend. Both are equally as valid and you deserve help. Do not discount how you feel because people near to you are suffering.

Where to start? It could be something simple like talking to a close friend, (my therapists say to start a conversation with "I'm feeling...") sometimes just being heard and acknowledged can do wonders.

GPs are also very well versed in dealing with mental health issues, I initially had trouble talking to a GP at bulk billing place that I didn't feel at all comfortable with. So I went to others, until I felt safe enough to say "I'm actually having a difficult time," and then I felt I had permission to pour out what has been happening.

Yes it can be a mammoth task dealing with our mental health, but as they say, you eat an elephant one spoonful at a time. Keep making those steps, each step is an advancement and trust that you are making progress, and believe me there are days where I feel like I'm stuck in the same distressed emotions over and over.

You've made the first huge step of saying "I'm actually not ok" we are all here listening. Trust what feels right for you.

[Hayls13]

Thank you silicontrip for your wise words. It is greatly appreciated😌