8. At after work drinks in office, where I was 1 of
only 2 women present (1 woman left as soon as it started and another refused to
come out of her office and join in even though she was asked) with a group of
men I’d only known a couple of days (most only in passing) I was told -
“You’re
lucky because we usually like to spike the drink of the new girl”
Everyone
laughed, including me, despite how uncomfortable I felt. I stayed to try to be
one of the team. The joke didn’t really make me feel like one of them though. I
was relieved that someone pointed out we were not at the pub and still at work
(suggesting it wasn’t appropriate I guess)
I’m not politically correct, and can take a joke. But with a group
of men I’ve only known a couple of days, this was the cherry on top. I wasn’t
afraid that my drink HAD been spiked (although I did wonder for a second), but
sadly these days issues like this are not a laughing matter for women and
Australian society – I wish they were.
The joke served to remind me what an outsider I was, and I
think it was a symptom of the work environment. I still stayed to chat, not
wanting to look like a princess. It probably would have been less awkward if I
had known them longer.
Needless to say my anxiety was triggered. I was ready for and
dealing with the nerves I expected from a new job, but as red flags continued I
had to determine what was anxiety and what was instinct that this really was not the
right place. My family urged me to move on and I left. I’m anxious now at how I
ignored things initially, why this happened, what I did and what’s next.
Thanks for listening.
