Not good at anything

[MissJ94]

Hi All,

Me again!

Ive now been out of work for over a month.

Im a registered nurse and finding it impossible to get a job. I feel like this time im more confident in my interviews but i keep getting rejected. Everytime i get asked "what made you leave your previous job?" I end up breaking down in front of these people running the interview because of what happened at my last job, the harassment, the stalking. I dont know if thats whats bringing me down but i cant help but react that way.

Lately the interviews ive been having, after them i just feel incompetent at even being a registered nurse. That feeling intensifies when i get the call or email to say i havent been successful.

Im struggling to put more applications in for a job because i just dont feel joy at all doing it. Its a stressful job, and looking back i just have no passion left for nursing. I feel depressed at the thought of going back into nursing, i havent been happy at all working as a nurse. Ive been working in aged care which is the opposite end of where ive always wanted to work(midwifery). Its impossible to get a job in the hospitals when you dont have any hospital training. I just feel too stupid to be a nurse. And after doing some of my midwifery course(undergraduate), i even feel too stupid to be in that. I feel like im severely lacking in something. I hear of people working fulltime and really succeeding in their careers and i have no idea how they do it. I went into nursing thinking a job would be easy to come by and id have a heap of support and further education opportunities but its been the complete opposite. I got extremely burnt out working fulltime, it didnt work with my medication for bipolar. I moved on to part time night shifts and was severely lacking support which lead to the harassment and stalking by another staff. I would love to work in family/child health nursing but thats a 3 year course... even then i feel too stupid for it..

Its like theres no job out there for me, that im too stupid for it all. The guy im seeing has suggested going into hospitality where he works but that scares the crap out of me. Yeah theyre in major need of staff but i know for sure id end up breaking everything or something majorly going wrong and then with so many people to see it.

I do those job quizzes to see what i might like but that changes on an almost hourly basis depending on my mood or energy levels.

Just feel like i have no fight left. I really dont know what im doing anymore.

[Hanna3]

Hi MissJ94

I'm sorry you're having trouble with being rejected at interviews. It's difficult when your last position has left you so upset and anxious.

Is there any way you could change your reasons for leaving your last position and maybe just say something like you wanted to take a break and then move into something different? So it sounds fairly innocuous and you don't have to go into detail about what happened?

As you wanted to do midwifery, could you work on a children's ward? What about a practice nurse at a GP practice or training in venepuncture and working in a pathology clinic?

Could you do admin work for a specialist centre?

Is there anywhere you can talk with a career counsellor?

Workplace bullying is horrible and it undermines your confidence. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Is there any particular area in nursing that might still suit you? Could you take a break from nursing and work in an administrative position in a hospital for a while to get some confidence back and give yourself time to think?

I'm just trying to put some ideas out there for you. I've nursed and done administrative work in hospitals. I've had some lovely admin jobs and your nursing background would be a great help.

Do you have anyone to support you after the bullying you experienced?

What about child care or home nursing?

Happy to talk some more.

🙂

[Hanna3]

And by the way you're not stupid! It just sounds like the bullying and bad experiences have undermined your confidence.

I'm wondering if home nursing would suit you as it's mostly with older people as clients and you drive yourself around so you're not with co-workers.

Are there any other types of work you might like to pursue outside of nursing?

[MissJ94]

It is possible i could mix up the reasoning but its soon as i hear those words everything comes crashing down.

I have tried getting into a childrens ward but even that requires hospital experience or someone thats just an expert on selling themselves. With my anxiety im really rubbish at selling myself.

Ive tried applying for a GP practice but theyre after someone who has done the course for immunisation as they deal with a lot of kids getting their immunisations. And then even working in pathology its a course that needs to be done and i just dont have the money to afford those courses.

As for admin, im not even sure how id go about applying for it. Id have to completely change up my resume to begin with i think.

Im not sure how id get in touch with a career counsellor either. Im still enrolled at uni for midwifery, im deferred at the moment(second year). They do have counsellors there but theyre all phone appointments now due to covid.

It really has and when its combined with previous abuse from ex partners it just makes it too real and scary. To have to have these emotions bought up again after years and it wasnt even a partner who did it, it was a person i worked with. It really makes me not want to even work again.

I have said for a while that i would probably like the community child/family health nursing. I did a placement at one of the community health centres when i did my nursing and also earlier this year with midwifery and loved it both times. No shift work, getting to work with families, i found it to be very stress free if youre not taking on the difficult cases that involve child abuse and drugs etc. But to get into that its a 3 year post grad course. I did actually get accepted into the course not long before i was accepted into midwifery, i went with midwifery though. Just dont know how it would all play out if i were to drop out of midwifery completely and continue the enrolment into child/family health.. my hecs debt is already so much!

Ill have to check out the admin positions and how to apply for those.

I gave child care a try a few years ago but knew on day one of the placement that it wasnt for me!

Even home nursing i havent seen many positions going for registered nurse home nursing positions. Or even it were general community health they do still look for those with experience or for those who really know how to sell themselves.

Thank you for the ideas though, ill have to explore those options

[Hanna3]

Hi MiddJ84

It's hard isn't it! When I did nursing your general certificate got you into pretty much anything but I had a friend a few years ago who was unhappy after doing her RN at uni and went on to train as a music therapist. (which she loved)!

I'm sorry I haven't come up with any good ideas for you. The anxiety makes it so much harder I know.

I suffered terrible workplace bullying long ago and it knocked my confidence flying for a long time until I got onto a ward where all the staff were really friendly and I was able to recover, but I've never forgotten how the bullying had me almost at breakdown point. It's dreadful what people do to someone they spot someone is vulnerable because they're anxious and not very confident. If only they gave you support instead of nastiness!

If I can think of anything else I'll come by again. Are you working at the moment? Do you have any supportive family or friends?

Maybe someone else can help you. Hang in there, something will work out!

🌹🌿🥀