Newbie needs advice please

[Busylife]

Hi all. I'm unsure if this is the correct forum to place this? I was not able to find a forum specifically suited to my situation.

Basically I have had a pretty rough 2 years within my government job which is a highly stressful role! Approx mid 2018 it all came to a head and I had three months off work on compensation diagnosed with an adjustment disorder. Anyhow moving forward I returned to work feeling A ok with clearance from my GP. Iv been back in my role since October 2018 and for the past couple of weeks iv felt myself declining back to how I felt when I went on work compo; emotional, sleep deprived, anxious, depressed etc etc. Now I'm thinking and feeling I no longer can perform my work duties as I once did and that this area of work is no longer for me. This hurts as Iv dedicated 10 years to my "dream job" and now I feel totally broken.

My primary concern is how do I best manage this? I feel I cant go back to my GP or my manager after returning to work "fixed" and say oh I'm losing my shit again and need to leave etc. I feel I may have returned to early but it was because I thought I felt ok and was in a better place.

Advice?

[white knight]

Hi Busylife, welcome

I have a couple of thoughts.

Firstly, I had a WC claim for stress back in the 1980's over a workplace incident where I was placed in a mini corruption scandal. Basically I would be a part of the scam.

So I have experience as a claimant but my GP refused to allow me back in that law enforcement field (due to panic attacks)so I changed career paths.

Also, I have 18 years of experience running my own investigation company dealing at times with workcover claims so my knowledge of the WC field is sound.

Having said that, the WC world is a frustrating, hurtful even cruel prolonged process that can drag out for years.

In your case it is likely, based on your post, that you did return too early. This is common. Your GP will not be alarmed that you have relapsed and therefore returning to him/her is perfectly ok.

Your other alternative is to put aside the "dream job" memory and face reality that your mental health is more important. When off work this time spend some time reevaluating your profession and even consider part time work.

For example: my therapist at that time told me "you are a black and white person living amongst 9 billion grey people, law enforcement is not for you"

So I had to be straight with reality- I wasnt flexible enough to stay in that profession.

Your GP will support you.

I hope that helps

TonyWK

[Busylife]

Thank you TonyWK. Your advice is comforting. I want to point out that I feel this way due to the ongoing dysfunction within my workplace. High case loads, lack of consistency, support etc etc. I feel angry to think there is the possibility I have to leave my role because I can no longer manage myself due to this. I totally feel this has all come back onto me with no responsibility from my workplace. I have considered seeking legal advice but unsure if it's worth it.

[blondguy]

Hi Busylife

TonyWK has covered 'career and mental health very well above in his post

I understand the pain you are going through as I have been through the same on and off for 35 years....and yes it is painful. Just from my own experience I found that pursuing the matter through legal channels may exacerbate our existing health issues...unfortunately....especially where anxiety and sleep are concerned

Can I ask if your anxiety has an effect on your day to day well being? Do you have anxiety/panic attacks at all?

Please excuse me for the questions as I am only trying to provide some support with the way you feel

The forums are a Safe and Non judgemental place for you post Busylife.

you are not alone

my kind thoughts

Paul