New job

[Haitchy]

Hi Folks. New to this forum.

I have suffered from anxiety for a few years on and off now. It came about after an abusive relationship and more recently my fathers sudden death.

I left a long term job recently - it was an unhealthy environment for myself and many others but that being said, I was comfortable with the work and in my comfort zone. Importantly, I was really good at my job.

Ive just started a new job. The environment is quite high pressure and I'm struggling a bit with learning new and very unfriendly software.

I've had a little training but I'm there alone effectively and trying to do my best.

Im finding that I'm getting quite frazzled when it's busy and I've made a couple of mistakes.

I'm trying to tell myself that this is normal but the brain is saying I'm useless and the people around me will think I am too.

ive actually started to dread going there - it starts when I wake up on the days I'm working with 'that feeling' in my chest.

Any advice on how to deal with this much appreciated.

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella

Nice to hear back from you. I've been wondering if you went along for the interview. That is excellent that you went...congratulations! Seriously...well done! Pat yourself on the back because it would have been easier to not attend. I guess only time will tell if you were successful at getting the job. Sometimes we are our own worst critics and think we went worse then what we really did. Keep me updated and I really would love to know how you go with all your job interviews etc. Maybe you could apply for some different types of jobs in a less stressful field while still applying for the other ones and see how you feel with each one? I'm all for less stress....lol. And if you can have some time off, brilliant. The only thing I can say from personal experience though is the longer you have off work, the harder it gets to return. Well, of course that is for me, it might do you the world of difference?

Listen to me giving advice...lol...I probably shouldn't be as I am not coping very well myself with the new job. Again, I've got myself all worked up about it all and totally overthinking everything and in fact, I had a little meltdown yesterday. I wanted to quit again BUT I CAN'T. I can't keep running away from everything hard. I ended up making a Dr appointment and he has put me on a Mental Health Plan so I can see a psychologist (again). Different town, different psychologist...so maybe I will connect with this one more...haven't like the past ones. The good thing for me is that I'm starting to narrow down my major issues. Although anxiety is deep and I'm sure I have aspects of different types of anxiety, the major one I don't seem to cope with is change or adjusting to new jobs, situations etc. If I could press the fast forward button to 6 months down the track, I know I will be ok again, but I need coping strategies in the mean time. I told hubby yesterday that I can't live the rest of my life like this.

Are you able to go and speak to someone as well and help you through these tough times at the moment?

[Nervybella]

Hi Nicole

hows the job going? Have you been able to get into your GP and psychologist yet?

I’ve got a psych appointment today so hoping to feel a little better after that.

I have been ignored since my interview. Haven’t heard a thing so I take that as a no from them. I’ve been applying for multiple jobs every day as I’m scared (I know it’s irrational) that I will never work again! Like you I wish I could zoom through the next few months and just get to the time where I am comfortable in a job and forget all this anxiety stuff happening now.

Its so hard to keep yourself positive and confident when you get rejected and also then knowing you will have to go through the “new job feeling” again

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella,

How are you going today? Did your psychologist appointment go ok? I did end up going to a psychologist appointment (he was working out of the same office space that my Dr was in, so thought that was good...at least I knew where to visit him). I didn't like him though...at all. Too much to write in words, but in a nutshell, I'm not going to stick with seeing anyone if I don't 'click' and feel comfortable...which I didn't. So...the area I live in doesn't have a lot of options for psychologists. And it's even harder to find people who leave reviews, so it's very hit and miss to know which ones are good or bad. I did narrow it down to 2 that I thought sounded ok. Went and dropped into both places today to check them out. The first one had a lovely office and looked very clean and organised, but they are not taking on any new patients and regardless, they are booked out until January! (Doh!) The second one...OMG...so funny. I see on a sign that they have recently moved office spaces. Their new place is a dump and looks small and unorganised, but saying that, I liked what they offered and there was a man waiting to see the psychologist and through small talk, he said that the psychologist made him feel comfortable and he liked her. So...I'm booked in for 23 September (originally was November but they called me this arvo with a cancellation...that was nice of them). Hahaha...fingers crossed her psychology work isn't like her messy office space...!

My job is going about the same. I came home quite stressed and a bit upset again the other afternoon. I so hate this new job feeling and not knowing what I should be doing and feeling like I'm a burden on them. So again, I 100% understand how you feel about getting a job and going through that 'new job feeling'. But you know what...we will both get through that stage at some point and be confident and happy...and that will be brilliant. I am living for those moments...lol. To be fair, I think most people feel apprehensive about starting new jobs...we just tend to take those feelings and multiply them by 50 times...lol. But hopefully, we will be much better after our psychology appointments and we get life back on the straight and narrow.

PS. Hope your doggy is going well.

[Nervybella]

Hey nicole

nit sure if you’re still looking st this thread. How’s the job going?

my psych appointments went fine but I now can’t get in again until late October. It’s very frustrating as I feel it’s too long between visits to really make much progress.

I have a trial for a job tomorrow, it’s in a totally different field to anything I’ve done before. Of course my anxiety has flared again but I’m hoping I can just get through tomorrow and be ready assured that it’s all going to be ok

[Nicole73]

Hi Bella,

Yes, I still look at this thread. 🙂

I am doing good thank you. I'm still at the job, so that's a good thing. I'm only working 2-3 days a week which is good. I work again tomorrow. My tummy still feels nervous every time I think about it...lol...but I'm still there and holding on. I don't think I will ever say I love the job, but I'm still hoping that 6 months down the track I won't feel nervous about going in each day. Hahaha...talk about life goals! 😉

Totally understand what you mean about psych appointments being so far in between visits. Doesn't that make it hard. It's like...I need to see a psychologist now...not in weeks/months to come. Very frustrating. I'm glad your last appointment went well though. I ditched my last psychologist and I'm seeing a new one on the 23rd. If this one doesn't work out...I'll just give up and plod along on my own...lol.

Hey, congrats on the job trial. I think if my calculations are correct, you had that today? How did you go? Are you going back tomorrow?

[Pennywise]

Hi everyone. It's been quite a long time since I've been on these forums but in the last year my life has changed dramatically. I cut 2 toxic relationships out of my life (my mother and partner of 10years), quit my job I had for 8 years as it was also becoming a toxic environment and had a few bumps along the way. I have an amazing partner now who supports me and gave me the means to leave my last job and take time off.

However, I just finished my first week at a new job (casual 2 days a week) and my mood has dropped. I was excited and nervous the first day but I didn't enjoy the 2nd day. I felt like I was just in everyone's way and wasn't really given instruction very well at all. I'm so overwhelmed. I felt sick the whole day and now I'm dreading my next shift.