Constant worrying in relationship

[Missandrea]

Been with my partner for about 2 years and sometines if we're apart I convince myself he'll realise that he doesn't need me around. Then I lay in my room thinking about it, I start getting defensive and come across blunt because my head has convinced that this is what he's thinking.

I have no idea why I think that sorta thing and not sure how to snap out of it? He's on night shift at the moment so we aren't really speaking so my brain has obviously said to me this is what's going to happen and to be prepared hes going to leave.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

This is relationship anxiety. You can google and find lots of information and helpful ideas around it. Unfortunately it ruined my relationship, so I'd try and get it under control now that you have recognised it. I think it could be helpful to look at your thoughts as an observer, and try to work out when anxiety is talking. Maybe you could also talk to your partner about it. Take care, Kat

[Aaronsis]

Hi Missandrea

Welcome to the forum and it is so great you are reaching out for some support here in what I can tell is so very frustrating and so very upsetting for you. Firstly can I suggest that the fact you have been with your partner for 2 years is a good indication that he wants to be with you and he values the relationship he has with you. The next thing is that I am wondering if you can talk to your partner and explain these thoughts and feelings to him, it will help him understand why you are coming across as blunt and will help him to see that you need some support at this time. I am wondering if you know what you need from him to feel a bit more secure in your relationship, maybe some text messages during the night or when he is away, maybe a call to chat when he has a break. If you can ask him if he can do these things to help you through this time it might add some extra comfort to you and show you he does care for you and that the thoughts in your head are just that..thoughts and they are not reality and you need not respond to them.

If you think you might feel like it is too hard to express how you are feeling to him perhaps you could write it down and show it to him, but I think it will be helpful to let him know how you are feeling and that you need some extra support right now, some extra reassurance there is nothing at all wrong with that.

Huge hugs to you Missandrea and be kind to you.

AS

[Missandrea]

Thank you so much reading that gave me some reassurance about it!