Need help. Anxiety so bad I can't function

[Bethie]

Hi

This isn' easy opening up. I'e fought anxiety and depression since my early teens. At times it' been so bad I've tried taking my life then turned to drugs and alcohl for years before finally getting clean and sober nearly 17 years ago. It' kinda hard telling my story but maybe it' time. My step dad was a violent alcholic and would regularly put Mum into intensive care. If run to friends to escape but was allways sent back. At 18 I married a man who was a friend just to get away. He had bad control issues. I finally got out and got sober. In 2011 I was and still am in one of the worse hit areas of the Brisbane floods. The storms or even power blackouts make me start sweating, rocking and crying. My 14 year old just tells me Mum calm down. Earlier this year with the floods down around the Gold Coast I was forced to drive home through crazy conditions to get to my son. 6 months ago my now husband who' my son' father had a accident and now has amnesia and as a result of this his PTSD has started again. I didn't even know he saw active service in the Army. I am medicated but find it really hard to stay in the moment. My biggest thing is I tend to project which creates added anxiety. When my son turns 17 he wants to join the Army. I worry how we will survive if neither of us can ever work again. Centerlink has been stressing me out because my doctor can' seem to get the carers paperwork right. I plan everything then fall badly if things don' turn out how I've been promised they will. A few years ago I was able to buy a block of land for security but stress about how to build there and what services are available in the country. My moods are affecting my partner as well because he thinks it' his fault. Our son just wants to get away as soon as he can. Every ime I see him I his cadets uniform I get scared has leaving me and will end up like his Dad. Yar I know I'm crazy worrying about 2 and a half years ahead but staying in the now isn' easy when I try to hide what I'm feeling inside.

S orry to be a pain but it gets so bad I have to force myself to even eat sdomedays

[white knight]

Hi Bethie

I joined the RAAF at 17 years and 4 days old in 1973. The best thing I ever did. I got a commendation for my efforts in the cyclone Tracy tragedy that went on my resume and it helped me get work once I left.

A culture of alcohol in the forces is your only concern. Regularly educate your son about the traps of excess.

He should have a back up plan if he isnt accepted, an alternative career choice like police, firefighter etc.

As for your anxiety embark on some daily rituals. They are mentioned in the threads below

Use google

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Bethie]

Thanks Tony

Its not so much the alcohl in the forces that worries me. My son has been brought up around A.A so he knows better than most the stories. I went to a meeting straight from getting out of hospital with him before even coming home. My brother did over 20 years in the RAAF but luckiy as a child I was kept away from him when he had bouts of PTSD. I know how he medicates and it' not my choice his way.

Sonce posting I've talked to my son C.O in cadets and she's assured me that things are different now than years ago. Education on PTSD is taught at all levels and personal have more support than ever which helped.

My partner is today 1 week on his new medication and responding great. This has finally given me more than 2 hours sleep in a row.

TTanks for being here both on this post and on others I've been on to help

[Sophie_M]

Hi Bethie, welcome to the forums and sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment.

You have a number of threads going for support and our members are struggling to keep up, so we're going to close this thread off and ask that you keep to the one thread below:

Partner with PTSD need help

Keeping to one thread per topic makes it easier for members to keep up with your story, and saves you having to repeat information.