Making Sense of OCD - Extreme Cleanliness and fear of Cigerette smoke / being around it

[anewhope]

Good evening all,

I was hoping to take the first steps in trying to battle self diagnosed OCD. I say this because I haven't spoken to anyone and every habit I have points to it.

You could say my habits can be broken down into 4-5 fundamental fears/habits

Fears (top to bottom):
Cigerette Smoke
Being Dirty (and unable to clean)
stepping in something and bringing it into the house
Bringing anything into the house

I'm extremely process driven and with OCD I tend to not forget anything too easily, so if I think I have contaminated something by bringing it into the house its impossible for me to forget about it.

An example of my fears and how it effects me day to day:

I built a computer piece by piece so that I can play games on it. Someone came to buy something off us and had a lit cigerette while I was meeting him outside our house. I left the door open by mistake and the fear of smoke contaminating the house actually made me sell the pc (that was ajacent to the front door). I couldn't even touch it consciously or let it touch anything else.

I treated it like someone would treat something that was radioactive. I used cloth toweling as I removed all the components to list and didn't let them touch the carpet or any other boxes (I was sure of it).

I then started the project again to build another computer system, which mean't 5-6 second hand items to build (and 1 new one which was the computer case).

The second I went to put something in my car after picking it up, someone had a lit cigerette and walked past my car while the door was open (and I was loading things onto the rear seat that I had just bought). I was really angry and frustrated, I had drove 40 minutes to try and fix an 'issue' by replacing the computer for it to just be in the same situation. This was in a suburban street too.

I've never smoked before and I honestly have big fears that the items are embedded with something I will never remove (nicotine)

I am also a perfectionist and take extremely good care of my items, in particular my computer.

I wash my hands thoroughly throughout the day, I sit next to someone at my work place who smokes and occasionally he likes to shake my hand when I leave for the day (which makes it even more frustrating and stressful).

[PamelaR]

Hi Anewhope and welcome to Beyond Blue

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure it isn't easy to do that. I'm not a health professional so can't really give you a diagnosis of your symptoms. From my experience of others and my own behaviours, I'd say that you are probably right about having OCD.

OCD is treatable and seeking professional support is the first step towards recovery. There are two main types of effective treatments for OCD — psychological treatments will generally be the first line of treatment. In some severe cases, medication can also be effective.

You can find more information about OCD if you do a search of the Beyond Blue website.

Also, if you feel up to it, you can do a search of the forums for others who have similar circumstances as yourself. You are not alone anewhope. Keep reaching out - feel free to join discussions that suit your situation.

Hope some of this helps.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[anewhope]

Thank you very much PamelaR,

I have spoken to 2 people over the phone using different services and while it gives some sense to what is going on (moreso why), I still feel there is this leach that is removing much if not all of the job in my life.

I've got to the part where I am feeling enclosed with people around me at work that smoke, if anyone touches anything of mine I am often very careful with it (using tissues or sanitizing it as much as possible) but the feeling is only slightly reassuring and gets less and less reassuring the more it happens.

I know the previous person that sat at my desk was a smoker and even though I have scrubbed it, the only way i'd feel like I could comfortably sit here without needing to show every time i get home would be if I was to swap seats with someone else (that didn't smoke) or swap desks and seats. If I was to bring anything over to that desk though I wouldn't feel comfortable.

At this stage, having something that had come into contact with cigarette smoke, someone that smokes or touched something that was in contact with something that someone touched that smoked would cause me great concern.