Loneliness

[Frogsong]

Is it just me or are there others out there who have trouble making friends. I've lived in the area for such a long time but can't seem to find my niche. I've tried on several occasions to participate in different things but for one reason or another, my anxiety and fear of being rejected takes over. I know it's something l have to try and overcome but it's really hard and I am 60. I'm very kind and tolerant, married to a man who l know loves me, but he isn't social which doesn't help.
If it wasn't for my kids, l think l would just pack up and go.
So if there's any one who is going through similar things I'd love to hear from you.

[Matchy69]

Hi Frogsong and welcome to the forums with such a prominent topic.You will find their is a few of us on here who are lonely and struggle to make friends and from all age groups.I understand how your anxiety can make it hard.I find it very hard to make friends and does cause depression on me.I hope you can find some friends as you sound like a nice caring person.
Take care,
Mark.

[Frogsong]

Thankyou

[Guest_4643]

Hi Frogsong, welcome. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's good that you have a good husband and kids though.

I'm 21, and I feel the same as you, I've always struggled to make friends and still do, online and in person, especially in person.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Frogsong

I agree with Matchy, it's a prominent topic on the forums. I too struggle with anxiety and rejection. I'm in my 40's, so it does seem to occur across all age groups. Have you tried joining in any activities where you can be around people, without necessarily needing to be with someone, so that you have company that way? Bingo, scrabble, tennis or whatever takes your fancy? I do yoga so at least I'm around people weekly, even if I don't talk to anyone. Hard isn't it?

Kind wishes, Katy

[Frogsong]

Thankyou, It's nice to hear I'm not alone, there seems to be so many people feeling the same. You would think at 60 l would have it all worked out, but getting older doesn't change things. I hope things get better for you, keep smiling.

[Frogsong]

Hello, thankyou, yes, l'm looking for something to get involved in. Funny you mentioned yoga as l hope to join a group if l can find one close by. I think the only way out of this rut is to get out there and fight my fears, knowing there are so many others feeling the same way does help.
Even though I've only just joined these forums, I'm actually feeling much better already...so thankyou everyone.

[Frogsong]

Hello%2c thankyou%2c yes%2c l%27m looking for something to get involved in. Funny you mentioned yoga as l hope to join a group if l can find one close by. I think the only way out of this rut is to get out there and fight my fears%2c knowing there are so many others feeling the same way does help.
%3cbr/%3eEven though I%27ve only just joined these forums%2c I%27m actually feeling much better already...so thankyou everyone.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Frongsong..

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums..

That horrible sad feeling of loneliness can be very overwhelming at times...I live alone in a small town of 200 residents..I’ve been here for 5 years now...and still haven’t really made any friends....except one...

I started saying hello to my neighbour and now occasionally we will have a cup of tea together....The first couple of weeks when I moved in she was yelling at me about my little dogs...it took a number of years before I got the courage to start saying hello to her....

I isolated myself for long periods of time due to my anxiety...I volunteered at my local charity shop..it gets me out for a day...and now after a few years of volunteering I find my anxiety around people has eased of a little....Do you think that you might consider volunteering somewhere?..

I am happy to hear that your husband is kind and loving...and your not living alone...It doesn’t matter if we are alone or in a crowded room....We can still feel loneliness...

Looking forward to getting to you Dear Frogsong...Love that name..reminds me of the frogs singing after it’s been raining....

My kindest and caring thoughts..

Grandy...

[Kris_G]

Hello Frogsong,

I am 41 years old and like you I have trouble making new friends. I haven't really made a new friend since high school. And nowadays, sadly I only see 1 of those high school friend regularly.

I don't like small chit chat nor am I a funny person. So over the years I've convinced myself that I am a boring person. This belief has led to anxiety and doubts about trying to meet new people. I say to msyelf 'Who would want to be friends with a boring person?'