In the middle of moving house. LOTS of anxiety. Just need to talk through my fears.

[CourtneyJ]

My name is Courtney, diagnosed over 20 years ago with severe GAD and depression.

Right now I'm in the middle of moving house. I decided to move from my 1 bed to a 2 bed so I can get a doggie companion!

It's been an insanely stressful month going to inspections every day, finding the right place and packing up my life to move to a brand new place.

Right now I'm at my parents house for 4 days until I can move into my new home. It's so scary moving to a completely new environment! My anxiety is off the charts and I'm worried about EVERYTHING. How much did I spend on this move? Was it the right decision to move? Did i pick the right place? What if I hate it? Will I be able to sleep there? And on and on on on...

Now I knew these feelings were coming. I've moved before and hated it so much I didn't do it again for another 8 years. The uncertainty of a new environment is all consuming. I also know it's the right time for me to move forward with my life. I've been "stuck" for a really long time and it's time for me to step out into the world and live my life. 

But it doesn't mean I'm not scared that I'm not doing the right thing. 

I just wanted to talk through my feelings. Write them down and work through them. 

If you have any words of encouragement, I would love to hear them! I have alot of trouble being kind to myself, and sometimes I need help from others to tell me I'm doing a good job. 

Thank you for listening. 

[Croix]

Dear Courtney~

Welcome back, it's good to hear from you even in strained circumstances. Having read your post (and the older ones too) there is just one thing that stands out - a doggie companion. What a wonderful thing to look forward too.

I'm a pet person and have found a dog (and sometimes a cat) makes a world of difference, turning any sort of house or flat into a home.

All the doubts you have are theoretically possible -though not likley. This has been the way you have always reacted to change, right back to stressing over emails.  The thing is that despite these unpleasant thoughts you have managed. 

You have already learned the downsides of having a pet when you trialed a kitten for a couple of weeks but have made hte decision to try again -something insides you must need a companion.. You found it invaded your space. Now you will have 2 rooms so that is not a possibility unless you want it to happen.

You are stronger than you realise coping with all those years of GAD. Surviving 4 days work out of 5, living through Mondays, traveling even though it seems impossible - and so many other things too.

As someone else with  GAD I get long chains of thoughts about what will go wrong, and those thoughts, by and large are themselves wrong and nothing untoward will happen. My psychiatrist calls this 'catastrophization' and is one of the common and very distressing symptoms where one's thinking is affected by anxiety.

It is no use being logical, and try to refute your feelings (or mine) with logical arguments, they don't work. Being reassured by someone whose judgment I respect helps, mainly becuse I respect their  judgment, they have been quite right in the past. Perhaps your parents can give you some comfort?

You are also wise to seek others to tell you the truth about yourself -that you will manage and your judgment in selecting a place will be found to be correct. Plus if your dog is anything like the ones I've had they will tell you by their actions and affection you are on the right path.

When you make the move please don't make snap judgments, give things time.

You know you are always welcome here

Croix

[Flowtoserenity]

Hey Court, when you open the door in the morning let the sun shine in and send the feeling of 'I absolutely love my life and I'm priceless out while you start your day haha, just like every free bird that flys in unicen with all the others. Maybe if you saturated urself in happy outgoing awesome fun thoughts only for a while you would feel the opposite because you seem so capable and organised you could achieve life in a breeze. Maybe never be afraid as that gets boring while ur alive haha. Sending the strength and belief that you can be free and telling all by Christmas how you are cause I see you can do it. Good luck and have fun trying at fun, its no fun giving up lol. Only my thoughts. Bless you and your life, sending a strengh hug haha

[Louise__]

Hi Courtney, my name’s Michelle (I use Louise on here, so I can stay anonymous. it’s my middle name) 

I know that feeling of anxiety so well. It’s so scary to do things on your own, and you’re so incredibly brave to make that decision for yourself. You’re doing amazing and I hope it’s everything you’re wanting! 

you posted on Thursday so my guess is that today or tomorrow is the big day. Good luck my love - take care!

[Croix]

Dear Courtney~

I'm just popping in to see how you have been going, if you stuck to your original timetable I guess you would be in your new home by now. If so I hope you are worrying less and maybe on the lookout for a suitable doggie to share your life?

 Croix

[CourtneyJ]

Thanks for all the kind words, they helped immensely!

Yes I am officially moved into my new place now. The first days and nights were definitely challenging but I've settled in well. I've almost unpacked everything and the new traffic/transport noises I was worried about are tolerable (they don't stop me from sleeping which is a relief!)

The thing that caught me by surprise the most was that moving into this new place didn't magically fix all my problems (which is crazy when you think about! 😆). I am the exact same person just in a different location. I didn't instantly get a sudden boost of motivation to fix all the problems in my life. 

Right now I'm focused on very slowly reinstating healthy habits (e.g. Getting enough sleep, waking up with my alarm, eating well, using to-do lists to achieve small meaningful tasks). I'm taking it slow and trying not to do everything at once. 

[Croix]

Dear Courtney~

Well, I'm glad the move has gone OK and you are settling in and reinstating the healthy habits you spoke of, they can only too good. Taking it slowly is a good way to do it, otherwise if it was me I might get overwhelmed, setting myself up for failure.

Although you are the same person 🙂 perhaps it might be worth waiting to see if the new environment does have an effect.  I've found the places I have  lived in before carry with them constant reminders of what happened in them, this is all fresh.

I lived for several years beside a major Sydney road. it was on a hill with trucks grinding up it all night and day, and the other traffic whizzing past. Before long I had become so used to it that I never noticed it, and I'd be sure the same will happen to you.

Any plans for that doggie companion as yet?

Croix (who is looking at Foxy Dog snoozing by the fire)