Hello Scotchfinger
There are a couple of observations I want to make. Since you started to post on BB the content of your messages has changed. Originally, like many people, you had short posts with fairly bald statements. Now your posts are longer, raise different issues and topics, acknowledge the feelings of others and offer care and support. I call that an amazing change and more importantly, a huge connection with BB.
It can be difficult to write here and put across your point of view without sounding arrogant because the nuances of speech are missing. We take this so much for granted that we automatically put in the tone of voice etc when we read what someone has written, and often we add the wrong inflection. Your comments, as I have already said, have changed during the time you have written here.
Accepting everything someone says is almost impossible. I attend a church and I have deep convictions about my beliefs. Everyone has slightly different views. A group of women has been meeting at my home for the past 4-5 years to discuss the bible and other aspects of our spiritual lives. Sometimes the conversation gets quite involved. What makes it work is that we respect each others point of view and accept each other for who we are rather than who we think they ought to be.
I imagine this is the sort of group interaction that would satisfy you. The only really hard and fast rule is to treat each other with courtesy. If you do not accept every bit of a doctrine, fine. There is nothing to say you must do so. I am quite certain I have worked with various colleagues who hold no particular brief for me, and the feeling is probably mutual. So what? We can still work together without fighting.
Family expectations are very powerful factors in our lives. My sister was quite dismissive of me attending university in my 50s. Why did I want to do that? My mother was just plain disinterested. But this was something I wanted to do so I persevered. I just did not talk about it with them and found other common ground.
I'm pretty certain that if we were to meet we would find topics of interest to both of us and I'm equally certain there would be matters where we would have "full and frank" discussions. It's what makes us human and what stimulates us to think more deeply, delve into our humanness (if that's a word), live as fully as possible and make ourselves better people.
Mental illness often exacerbates our worst characteristics but we are still good people.
Mary
