I made a bad choice and now I can’t stop feeling guilt and shame

[Seeking_help28]

I made a bad choice at work. I shared something with another co worker that I shouldn’t have and feel it will result in tension in the workplace. For context myself and co-worker 1 had a conversation a few months ago, where co-worker 1 made a negative comment about another co-worker (co-worker 2). It has not been brought up again but the other day I let it slip to a different co-worker what co-worker 1 said and they have now told the co-worker 2 that was negatively spoken about. I have since spoken to the co-worker 2 and apologised for spreading information that related to them and offered to speak to all affected parties to admit to my mistake and make sure they knew it was my fault but they told me not to and to just forget about it. I know it was a negative thing that co-worker 1 said but I feel like I betrayed their trust and this may ruin our relationship as I know they did not intend anything in out conversation to spread to other team members. I have been feeling guilty and horrible all weekend and don’t know if I should still apologise to co-worker 1 even though co-worker 2 told me not to.

[Croix]

Dear Seeking_help28~

Welcome here to the Forum. It is obvious htis matter is preying on your mind, and from the sound of it you may be taking it more seriously than the people involved.

Please understand that the following is just my suggestion, and comes from my own mistakes in the past.

The "injured party", coworker 2 has said not to say anything and I suspect it good advice. They now know what coworker 1 feels about them and that could be useful .

Apologizing to anyone else I would feel was premature. If you say anything it might bring about a whole lot of fuss and bad feeling so at this stage I would let things be. 

This of course may change with circumstances when it does become appropriate.

We all makes slips and mistakes, and acknowledging them to ourselves is not so hard, but seeing them in proportion is not as easy, and doing so allows you to cope better.

I hope this helps

Croix