I'm not sure what to do

Guest_63849894

Okay so, I am 14 and gay, my boyfriend, we'll call N and his now ex best friend E. I was starting to get along with E. Last night and then he tried pressuring me into sexual activities, which i was not comfortable with, and i told him that clearly multiple times. He then started calling me names for not doing it and that i have no reason. I then told him that i had a reason but that i was not comfortable sharing it. He then tries to get me to tell him by promising to tell me his secrets, which i declined. And THEN he tells me that it can't be that bad. Which then, i recall to another night when I was at N's and E was on the phone and i discovered that N had been telling him a lot of things about me and everything intimate in our lives. Yes we've had sexual activities with each other and i know it's wrong. I then shut down with talking to E. I then go to ChatGPT to help me decide what to do. I confront N and tell him everything with screenshots included. And i got him to cut off E and i let him know that i will not be trusting him again until he can prove to me that he won't break my boundaries again and share my body and personal life without consent again. He agrees. And i feel bad for this but i still feel like they're talking behind my back, and also i was fueled by more emotions because on top of this, N had been rude lately and had tried to get us to open up our relationship ON OUR 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! Because he wants to hook up with people for the adreanaline and that he doesn't want me to be his first and last.

not_dead_yet

Hello! I'm probs not the best person to be taking advice on cuz im 15 but i'd like to share my opinions on this. From what i am taking, N seems to have crossed a few boundries with you but has taken the effort to fix them. I think you should talk to N about the rudeness and ask him why he has started to be rude and ask him to stop. Asking to open a relationship on a special day is definitely not the best timing - but opening a relationship should not be done if either one of you is even a little bit hesitant. I think you guys need to sit down and have a serious convo about what has been happening, how you and N are feeling about it, and where you want your relationship to go in the future. Again i am not the best person to take advice from and im just sharing my opinions. Sorry if it doesnt make much sense ;-; good luck and happy new year xx

Psychdiaries2

Hey there,

Thanks for opening up about your experience. I have never been in your shoes, however, I am positive you will find some insightful perspectives here on the forums.

My advice would be to open up to your partner about what happened and how you’re feeling about all of this. If this person is a genuine boyfriend, then he’ll listen and understand where you’re coming from. If your friendship with this other person is adding more negativity than positivity in your life, then it’s not worth it. They’re not a genuine person. A genuine person is going to respect your boundaries and be there to support you. If I’m being honest, it sounds like that is not what is happening.

Take some time to think this over and as always take care of yourself. Perhaps you could reach out to a helpline too if you need one-on-one guidance like on KidsHelpline.

I hope things get a bit better for you. Happy new year, sending love ❤️