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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Guest_43844093 I keep ruminating on everything that I've done wrong
  • replies: 2

Hi, thanks for reading. I'm a 26 year old student in a pretty intense postgraduate course. I had to move interstate for this course. The course is pretty small, and we do all our classes together, so we're with each other all day every day. It's very... View more

Hi, thanks for reading. I'm a 26 year old student in a pretty intense postgraduate course. I had to move interstate for this course. The course is pretty small, and we do all our classes together, so we're with each other all day every day. It's very insular. I find that people here are lot more judgemental. I don't fit in. Back home, I had lots of friends, and my mental health was pretty ok. I suffered from severe social anxiety and depression as a child/teen, but I got mostly better after years of therapy, medication, and some hospital treatment.I have managed to make some friends, but lately I get the feeling that no-one in the course likes me. I rarely get invited to things. I think that the situation had been stressful because it's taking me back to when I had really severe social anxiety back in high school. I was bullied a lot in primary school, and excluded a lot in high school, not invited to things, and I felt like no-one really like my company. Once I left high school and went to uni, I eventually made new friends who I had a lot more in common with and who liked me for me. I'm still in contact with my friends back home, but it's hard to catch up with each other with the distance.I still have two years left in this course. I'm starting to hate my life in this new city. I hate being left out by people in my course. The frustrating thing is that I don't even like most of them, I just don't like being left out. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. This has caused me to feel really anxious, which in turn has caused me to feel really depressed. I can't stop ruminating on silly social mistakes that I've made. I have a habit of accidentally blurting out stupid things and it's really embarrassing, especially in class in front of everyone. I keep thinking about all the stupid things that I've done and how everyone in my course thinks I'm a freak. I'm starting to feel like I don't deserve to be in my course. I also feel ashamed for getting unwell again, given that I was previously doing really well mentally. I'm on edge and cry all the time, especially if I make a stupid mistake, then I just think about it over and over. I'm struggling to go to the social things I do get invited to, because I'm so worried about looking stupid or people not wanting to talk to me.Does anyone have any tips for breaking the cycle of these ruminating thoughts? It's been so long that I think I've forgotten all the things that used to help me when I was younger.

HoldOnPainEnds Relationship Anxiety and rOCD
  • replies: 6

Hey everyone! A few weeks ago I came to these forums looking for help, but today I am here to offer up some advice I have learnt, just as all the kind souls who commented on my post did for me. With this thread I want to talk about what rOCD is, shar... View more

Hey everyone! A few weeks ago I came to these forums looking for help, but today I am here to offer up some advice I have learnt, just as all the kind souls who commented on my post did for me. With this thread I want to talk about what rOCD is, share my story and provide anyone else who is also in this situation with the information I wish I knew when I was going through this. After weeks of debilitating thoughts of "do I really love my boyfriend?", I stumbled across the term 'rOCD'. Relationship obsessive compulsive disorder is not recognised as an official disorder, rather it is a part of OCD. It involves intense, often anxiety-inducing thoughts about whether or not one is in the 'right' relationship (i.e. do I love them, what if I find someone else attractive, should I break up with them, etc.). It can be absolutely debilitating as although you may know that none of the thoughts are realistic, they compel you to enact certain compulsions like constantly checking how you feel around your partner and asking for repeated reassurance about the 'rightness' of your relationship. Some obsessions/compulsions of rOCD are as follows: Obsessions: - "Is this the right relationship for me?" - "Is this real love/do I feel in love?" - "Do I feel "right"?" - "Does my partner really love me?" - Other obsessions can focus on certain aspects of a partner's looks or personality, i.e. "his nose is too big!" Compulsions: - Intensely monitoring how you feel when interacting with your partner or when you see other attractive people - Comparing your relationship to those of friends, family and/or fictional characters - Consulting others and constantly asking for reassurance as to whether or not you're in the right relationship - Repeatedly breaking up with your partner to see if you feel anything - Feeling that something bad will happen if you don't find an answer to these thoughts Please note that these are just a few examples (taken from the International OCD Foundation) and you don't need to meet all of them to have this disorder! I do NOT condone self-diagnosis, but if you relate to what I have described above then I strongly recommend doing some research on the condition (either by means of Google or, if at all possible, talking to a mental health professional) as it may help make some sense of what you are going through and help set you on the path to recovery. I wish you all the best and hope you can find some solace in this thread -HOPE

Lee-Anne Intergenerational Trauma
  • replies: 1

Hello!I've learned to put aside family members who contribute to my suffering intergenerational trauma triggers. It's a hard thing to do, yet necessary for me to live in a more healthy mindset, more peacefully. The guilt is there for me to break away... View more

Hello!I've learned to put aside family members who contribute to my suffering intergenerational trauma triggers. It's a hard thing to do, yet necessary for me to live in a more healthy mindset, more peacefully. The guilt is there for me to break away, even though I've done a lot of work on myself and with professionals.Is anyone out there experiencing that same situation with guilt of sorts

Inner_strength Too much anxiety
  • replies: 9

For the last couple of weeks I've been having terrible anxiety ! I have no appetite and when I do eat I get acid reflux . I feel shaky and jittery and my head feels like there's a huge elastic band around my head and someone's pulling it tight ! The ... View more

For the last couple of weeks I've been having terrible anxiety ! I have no appetite and when I do eat I get acid reflux . I feel shaky and jittery and my head feels like there's a huge elastic band around my head and someone's pulling it tight ! The last few days I've been having jelly legs like they can't support me and they also feel heavy . I do sleep well and can get to sleep ok but I wake up really early in between 4am - 6am and can't get back to sleep because it feels like a ball of anxiety is rolling around in my stomach trying to escape , it's a terrible feeling to wake up to ! I just wanted to vent and get some opinions on other people's experiences and self help skills

Kittykat13 Feeling anxious with new medical diagnosis
  • replies: 2

Goodevening ,So a few weeks back i was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye issue called PIC.I had never heard of anything like it.Basically its an inflammitory condition which created white spots and blurred vision and flashy lights upon closing t... View more

Goodevening ,So a few weeks back i was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye issue called PIC.I had never heard of anything like it.Basically its an inflammitory condition which created white spots and blurred vision and flashy lights upon closing the eye. There is also a blood vessel behind my central vision in my left (affected eye ) which has created blurring and seeing through water vision.It has been so scary.i went and jadmy first eye injection last wednesday and i was so scared.i am also on steroids for inflammation.Its all so much right now..im feeling so sad..and defeated and whilst im doing everything i can to stay positive and keeo going in with life im finding it harder each day to get out of bed.Im crying alot..i feel.scared and so alone..even tho i have a partner and daughter.Im exerciisng ..meditating. doing breathwork. All the things that used t alleviate tension are barely working.Life is just uphill right now and i need some support.Thankyou for listening

Maxi2701 Spiking high blood pressure
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone For the past 3 weeks my anxiety has hit new highs. Literally. My blood pressure now has a mind of it's own and is causing me more anxiety on top of anxiety. I've had lots of tests and all clear. Doctors visits, ED visits and even a stay i... View more

Hi Everyone For the past 3 weeks my anxiety has hit new highs. Literally. My blood pressure now has a mind of it's own and is causing me more anxiety on top of anxiety. I've had lots of tests and all clear. Doctors visits, ED visits and even a stay in hospital. Has anyone else had this? I try deep breathing and counting backwards from 100 by 3's (that does work). I've tried meditation and acupuncture. Medication has too many side effects for me. Any suggestions would be good. I've just about had enough.

sera I need a place to offload all the stuff that i am carrying at the moment
  • replies: 12

Hello and thank you for all, It is difficult to get your thoughts down on the page when you are anxious and depressed. You lose your assertiveness and ability to say what you what to say. I'm Nick, guy who is middle age, and I have a diagnosis of soc... View more

Hello and thank you for all, It is difficult to get your thoughts down on the page when you are anxious and depressed. You lose your assertiveness and ability to say what you what to say. I'm Nick, guy who is middle age, and I have a diagnosis of social anxiety and depression, from my early 20s. I've just started a teaching placement which will go until the end of May, 4 days a week. Today is the second day and I've called in sick, but I'm not. I get stressed, emotional and anxious in any new situation, not just this one. I am very sensitive to criticism, and I have a history of getting fired from jobs, because of non-attendance and making mistakes. I feel deflated and sometimes will start crying when I think about my life. Luckily, I have a great Mum and Dad, brother and sister-in-law. My parents are both in their 80s, so I take this into account when talking about my mental health. To be clear, I will talk to them, and they will notice, when I am not well, but I think about their health and worry. The medication I take 'seems' to work at times, but my mood can be volatile and I don't deal well with criticism. I have used CBT to work through things, but it is not enough. I am not bipolar, I don't exhibit manic behaviours. I am not sure what else to say, as I feel sluggish in my thoughts, and want to rest now. I appreciate those who have read what i have had to say, and hope you are ok. Nick

1103 Lost
  • replies: 3

I lost my wife 8 months ago and my world has crashed down around me 

I lost my wife 8 months ago and my world has crashed down around me 

Guest_28135390 Needing advice on workplace bullying
  • replies: 1

Hi, I commenced a position as a cadet journalist earlier this year. Unfortunately I have experienced work place bullying by my boss. I moved 4 hrs away from my family and friends to start my dream career. Around 6 weeks ago I had a breakdown and left... View more

Hi, I commenced a position as a cadet journalist earlier this year. Unfortunately I have experienced work place bullying by my boss. I moved 4 hrs away from my family and friends to start my dream career. Around 6 weeks ago I had a breakdown and left my office half way through the day. I was exhausted from preparing myself for how my boss would treat me every day I really didn’t know if he was going to be nice or mean. My workcover claim has been rejected. I asked HR if I could be transferred to another publication with their media group but they said I had to make it work with my boss. I have submitted detailed statements with times and dates of each incident that occurred. I was made to feel humiliated, ridiculed and stupid on a regular basis. There was unrealistic expectations placed on me when I started the job my boss went away for two weeks and another senior journalist who was mentoring me went away on annual leave for 6 weeks. I was left on my own as a cadet and I felt thrown in the deep end. I have not resigned and I have been placed on unpaid leave. My psychologist is asking me to think about going back to my workplace as appealing workcover is not always successful. My boss denied everything to workcover and I had included two witnesses that were there when my boss publicly reprimanded me but they declined to make a statement which I fully understand. I have applied for conciliation through a union. Workcover are paying for my medical treatment but my weekly wage was rejected. What do I do?

Chestnut I feel like I have no friends
  • replies: 5

As long as I can remember I’ve always struggled to keep a friend for a long time. I’m 16, just left high school early a couple months ago to do nursing. I don’t talk to anyone I did sports with or went to school with. I’ve been waiting for that to st... View more

As long as I can remember I’ve always struggled to keep a friend for a long time. I’m 16, just left high school early a couple months ago to do nursing. I don’t talk to anyone I did sports with or went to school with. I’ve been waiting for that to start to make like minded friends but that’s just been pushed back another 4 months. I try talking to old friends from my high schools but I fall onto deaf ears, and I know it’s not necessarily me but the different positions in life we’re in and experiences so we don’t have much to talk about. I feel like I’m in such a hole, I don’t have the energy to go out and make friends- even if I did, I find myself shying away out of fear I’ll be “too loud” or “too much” as previous friends have suggested. I know I’m digging my own lonely hole, I’m 16- I feel like I should have more friends than just my mum( she’s 17 years older than me so she’s like a sister) though she’s awesome.. it’s just not the same. I want someone to hangout with, sleepovers, go out to the beach or stuff like that. I don’t know what I should be doing anymore tbh. So Im writting this, if anyone’s been there what did you do?thank you for spending your time to read