I'm living in fear

pommy1964

My heart is breaking I'm a mum of a son of 31 who's struggling after a break up.

My son dated someone for 13 years and brought her nephew up from birth sadly they broke up few years ago.

Started dating a new woman from a domestic abusive husband he seemed in love with her but she's messed him about asking for space but yet contacting him and still sleeping with him.

His head been all over the place I think harrasing her wanting explanation of split.

He's gone to her house when told not to 100% should not of gone he gets there 5 people waiting for him her new boyfriend and my son ended up fighting he's now in trouble with the police with possibility of prison.

He was on suicide watch I'm terrified he's going to kill himself or he's going to prison I can't explain the fear I'm having.

He's going away next week I'm so scared as going to stay at favourite resort for 1 night 3 hours from home where he has loved all his life and been with his ex.

I've told him my concerns but brushes it off as just going to relax.

Croix

Dear Pommy1964~

Welcome back to the Forum, I hope the time since you were last here has been kind to you. I'm afraid you are now going though a very hard time. To see your son having two huge problems and worrying he will be jailed or take his life is about as bad as it gets for a loving parent.

I would think you son may feel everything is hopeless however one thing that might ease his mind a bit is to get the best lawyer possible and listen to them. If the woman in question has consistently given him mixed signals, even going so far to be intimate, this may may be very significant in his defense

To be with someone for 13 years and rear a child, only to have it all taken away is heart-breaking, then to have this relationship fail without understand why would very much make him feel worse.

I know you have told him of you worries and he has downplayed them, nevertheless I would expect that counceling would be in order to help him see there is a future and there is no reason why it might not turn out well in time. If you cannot persuade him to see one can his brother help?

As things are so stressful at the moment can I suggest that you to need assistance to cope and for that counseling for you might be a good idea. Being in the best emotional state possible can only help your son.

A counceling service I can recommend is Relationships Australia (1300 364 277). If they do not have a service near you they may be able to recommend a suitable one in your area.

You know you will always be welcome here

Croix

pommy1964

Thanks his long term relationship finished few years ago it's the one together a year I can't explain the fear I have but I've an appointment booked to see someone end of may hopefully get in sooner also my son is already talking to somebody.

Croix

Dear Pommy1964~

I'm very glad your son is seeing osmeone and that you are taking steps to look after yourself. I hope it gives you as much relief as it has given me. One visit was not nearly enough for me but over time I became stronger and had more perspective, in other words coped.

By the sound of it your son does not understand why that later relationship came to such a messy an end, though for some people, such as his partner, being in an abusive relationship can sour subsequent ones if not extensively professionally assisted.

This can be very hard on persons such as your son who are given mixed signals and are subsequently left.

If it might help to return here you are always going to be welcome, particularly around court time.

Croix

pommy1964

We have the the letter from the lawyer of what can happen I'm so scared so god knows how he feels he could go to prison for 7 years and nearly 60 grand in fines .He did wrong and I understand actions have consequences but he had a fight the lad ended up with a bust lip and he did walk towards him with a hammer after he returned to his car but turned back to his car.The sentence seems very extreme for the crime but I'm no judge .I'm in a spiral in my head.

Croix

Dear Pommy1964~

Your lawyer's account is most probably the maximum allowed under each offense and may not be what actually happens when he is sentenced. If one is a first offender and has taken steps to rectify anger then together with him receiving mixed signals may well result in something less heavy. I can't promise that it but it is possible.

I expect you have already though of this but the person you have booked to see at the end of this month may have a cancellation list giving you some chance of getting in earlier

If you would like let us know how you are getting on that would be great

Croix