Health Anxiety has ruined me.

[LilKiwi]

Not even two weeks ago, I woke up and had a pain in my right breast. The following week there was a small lump in my armpit but that had since passed. I had convinced myself I had breast cancer and went to see a GP, giving the all clear, I hoped all my troubles would be gone and things would surely clear up. Apparently I was wrong. Not even a day or two later, I started feeling pains around my neck and collarbone. The right side of my face started to feel swollen and tingly. So what did I do? Good ole’ doctor Google.

Breast Cancer. Meningitis. Brain Cancer. Dying. Cancer, cancer.

I was destroying myself. My partner watched me changed before his very eyes. For someone who has mild to no anxiety most of my life, I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I went to a new GP with my symptoms and he diagnosed me with Conjunctivitis and a bacterial infection in the right side of my face.

Hoping that would help, I’ve noticed now that it seems my antibiotics aren’t doing anything and I have this horrible sleep pattern.

Anytime I try to lay down, I feel tightness all around my neck and be back of my head. Sometimes it’s so bad, I can’t sleep. I’ll get two to three hours. Now I’ve just made myself so anxious and thinking something is wrong, I just can’t even think about sleep with out tensing up.

I keep researching and researching, thinking I have a brain tumor.

I’m not suffering from anything vision, movement or vomiting related. I’m literally tearing myself apart.

This sickness is ruining my relationship and mental health. I can’t believe how I’ve become in a matter of two weeks.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ll be returning to the GP again on Saturday.

[baet123]

Hey Kiwi,

That is great news that your GP sees you as a health adult. Awesome stuff.

It is unfortunate though that even despite you being in fairly good physical health you are still having some anxiety which is totally normal. I experienced the same thing. Go to the doctors regularly, get the all clear, go home and still be worries/paranoid and anxious something is "actually" wrong with me.

Here are a few things you can consider that may assist you on your journey:

- Consider seeking further assistance from a psychologist/psychiatrist. Medication prescribed from my psychiatrist in the past helped me and I had a similar condition as you. I am not saying medication will work for you but it has for me and millions of others in the past.

- Exercise is a great way to relieve stress, anxiety and clear your mind. When your feeling overly anxious maybe go outside and walk around for a while and see what effect this is having on you.

- When you are panicking and super anxious try and slow down your breathing and think mindfully and try and apply some rationale to the situation even though it can be super hard. Try telling yourself "my doctor has said I am healthy" and try and think and focus your energy and thoughts on that.

Hope this helped.

Look forward to hearing from you again.

Hope you feel better!

Nick

[SammyD100]

Hi lilkiwi and baet123 / Nick

I'm back on the forums today and have just read through all your posts - Nick has provided lots of great advice! I especially liked the suggestion to try and reduce the amount of googling you do and lilkiwi I'm so glad to read that you've cut this down significantly. The problem with relying on google is partly that it is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you type in specific terrible symptoms, it will come back with (potentially) terrible diseases based on those symptoms!

lilkiwi it sounds like you're having quite a lot of trouble getting to sleep, and having good quality sleep? I love Nick's suggestions re seeing a professional, getting some exercise, and practising helpful thoughts and deep breathing. I wonder if doing some mindfulness-based activities when you're trying to get to sleep might also help? I've recently started using the Smiling Mind app at bedtime and I really think it's helped my sleep quality. I settle into bed, turn on a meditation (they go for about 5 minutes on average) and just lie there listening to the app. I feel like I have been falling asleep quicker than usual as a result. It might be something to do with feeling really calm, breathing deeply (shallow breathing an increase anxious thoughts and feelings) and minimising any intrusive thoughts - all of which may be helpful for you too?

Perhaps you could try it out and let us know how you go?

SammyD