Employment and anxiety

Quivz · ‎19-04-2018

I have suffered anxiety most of my life, but was only diagnosed some years ago when the depression i developed got so bad i couldn't cope. I used medication for a while to help with the depression, but only until that went away. I only seemed to get depressed because my anxiety caused me so many problems and now i've come to terms with general and social anxiety i dont get depressed much anymore. I dont really like the medications so i cope without them.

I have been unemployed since i was diagnosed and its been relatively easy to cope, living with my parents and not having to deal with work stress. But i cant do this forever and want to be working so i can support myself. However i dont know what sort of work to do. Everytime i go through the job listings and try to picture myself doing any of the jobs i might apply for i get anxious enough that i cant keep looking at the listings. I wanted to try volunteering one day a week as a sort of exposure therapy, but haven't even been able to manage that.

I was on new start for a long time and not only did i not find a job, but the threat of actually getting one was terrifying. I would not have coped with the centrelink requirements without medication at the time and that was only looking for work, not even a job proper.. I tried going back to uni to change fields, but i couldn't deal with the pressure anymore. I did not qualify for the DSP at the height of my anxiety and depression. i've had a look at it and i doubt i could support myself on it anyway. I'm looking for independence, not some money while i continue to live with some sort of carer.

So does anyone have any recommendations as to types of work i could try? Let me point out that even with medication i was no less anxious about any job i imagined myself doing. So while i would be willing to start meds again, it alone is not the solution.

Birdy77 · ‎19-04-2018

Hi Quivz,

I can relate to your situation quite a bit.

What springs to mind is to ask what you enjoy doing, and to see if you can come up with a job related to that. For example my anxiety prevented me from working in the field for which I was qualified. I enjoy gardening and I feel really calm in the garden so I decided i could cope working in other people's gardens ... and it was perfect for me. I started out very simply, offering to weed, mulch, maintain for people who couldn't because of their age or time-poor etc. and it grew from there.

What do you like doing, or what do you see as a situation that would make you calm?

🌻birdy

Indigo_rose · ‎25-04-2018

Hi Quivz,

I'm not sure that my response will be helpful, but I just wanted to say that I can really relate to your story. I have had GAD since primary school and I struggle even with little things. I do have a job, but desperately need to get out as it makes me so unhappy and is beyond my "scope of expertise" (I was forced into a new role as store manger and I have no skills whatsoever in managing people, I prefer just managing myself and my own jobs). Whenever I look for work, I too get very anxious. I usually feel sick just writing application letters, let alone going for an interview. Which is why in still stuck in the same job. I don't know how people get though this process. It's hard. My only advice would be to start slow and not overwhelm yourself. My psychologist told me to make allowances for myself and respect that I am different from other people. Maybe people like you and I can't just hop into any job and "be happy". It may be a slow journey finding something realistic that doesn't make you sick with fear.

Sorry if this isn't helpful. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone with the feelings you have 😊😊

Thank you for sharing your story, it's been good for me to know in not the only who who struggles.

Quivz · ‎20-06-2018

Birdy,

This is generally the starting point for my many psychologists over the years. The things i like in order are sleeping, eating and computer games. The first doesn't lend itself to any jobs that i've ever heard of. With the second, the standard hospitality jobs are out of the question and anything involving actually eating is out of the question as i have to watch what i eat thanks to other medication. In fact, thanks to this other medication I'm even more depressed than ever because i can't even eat food i like anymore, which leaves me only options one and three as past times. And the third option, the only things i could maybe do require qualifications i cant get (i tried and couldn't cope). My psychologists tend to poke this bear for a session or two and then give up. It's hard to blame them when I've done the same thing.

I'm not trying to be difficult, but this is my situation. I've long since accepted that i will not find a job i enjoy, but maybe i can find something i can tolerate. However in the months since my original post i have yet to come with any ideas.

Birdy77 · ‎20-06-2018

Hi Quivz,

Sorry my earlier reply wasn't helpful to you.

What about signing up for paid online surveys? I have had friends earn quite a lot of money this way. There are a few you can join. It might suit you and be something you could tolerate?

🌻 birdy

JessF · ‎20-06-2018

Hello Quivz, it is difficult to think of what to suggest as it is likely you have already thought of many things, and to keep hearing suggestions that aren't suitable I imagine is going to make you feel even more frustrated.

So my suggestion is a bit of a variation on the 'poking the bear' that you have already experienced, which would be to start with what your needs are and work backwards from there. I would try not to put any limitations over the top when you do this part of the process, no "I can't do that because". Don't let your anxiety write this list, perhaps write it as if you were writing it for someone else.

You've mentioned that you need a job because you want to be independent and to support yourself. So what would that look like? How much money would you need to have a life you're comfortable with? (Start with the amount of money you spend currently, and think about the things you'd like to do but can't and how much those things would cost) What are all the possible jobs available that could fit in that bracket? (Not ones you think you could do, but all the possible jobs) I can recommend a book called 'What Color is your Parachute' that has been around for years and has some good tips to help you think outside the box about careers and how to go about the job seeking process.

For me a large part of anxiety management has been 'feel the fear and do it anyway' and 'fake it till you make it'. This means sometimes doing the exact opposite of what your anxiety is telling you to do, and doing things that don't feel comfortable if you know they fit your wider goal of work and independence. You are not always going to succeed at getting across the line, but the important thing is to keep pushing against it. With each little success comes a little more confidence and a little more motivation. It's a slow build, unfortunately, not an overnight solution, but as long as you keep making each little step small enough to climb, you will keep progressing toward the life that you want.

EllieC · ‎20-06-2018

Hey Quivz

As a practical thing as far as centrelink goes: have they ever offered you referral to a rehabilitation job agency? I was in the same situation as you and I ended up being sent to an agency called CRS who did this. They were amazing! The requirements when you're referred to them are different to normal newstart requirements, so instead of having to apply for x amount of jobs per fortnight you work with one of the counsellors there to set your own goals towards eventually finding work. They were also able to help me with working out what I wanted to do, and they have funding to offer some financial support if you want to pay for training etc.

They call it rehabilitation, but really they take people who could potentially be able to work but have an illness (including mental illness) that makes it really difficult for them. All I needed was a letter from my doctor to confirm that I had anxiety. It might be worth at least asking whether you would be eligible? Honestly changed my life, I don't know that I would have found my career (which I love) without them.

Ellie

Quivz · ‎21-06-2018

It was totally helpful birdy. It's ground i've covered, but you couldn't have known that and if all the psychs start there you were totally right to do the same.

JessF. Thats a variation i haven't tried. I don't need much. I've never had much so my needs are meagre. I've worked out before that anything over 600 a week would probably be enough. I forsee another small problem. Since my needs are so small, there are so many jobs that would fit the bill. Having only just read your post nothing springs to mind just yet, but i will write some things down and see if i can elucidate some options. The other thing is, that this value isn't much more than the DSP, so if i was on that and could find something for just a few hours a week i could live how i want, but as i've said i don't qualify for that.

EllieC. I haven't had a rehabilitation job agency. I have had a disability one. They were really good, but because they are so good there's never any spots with thier agency, so when i signed up for newstart i couldn't choose them again. You have to take someone who has a spot then and there. No one has ever told me that a rehabilitation style job services provider was a possibility. The last time i had things from my doctor for centrelink they gave me a 4 week break from requirements and assessed me for the disablity support pension. I didn't qualify for the DSP and once the 4 weeks were up as far as they are concerned i'm completely cured and fully work fit. I've asked about this and they told me that you can get up to 6 weeks with no requirements, but then you have to do 3 months standard before you can do that again. No one ever mentioned any other options except this 'sick certificate' or the DSP. I will look into it as my current JSP is awful. I have been there 3 times and so far I've only talked to the receptionist and filled in a questionnaire. No one has actually spoken to me about my situation and i've been with them for over a month. I've been with them before and i wrote centrelink a long letter describing how bad they were and how little they seemed to care that i have a disability. Centrelink replied with "You have failed to meet your requirements and your payment has been suspended."

Some good bits and pieces for me to work on here. Thank you all. Wish me luck.

Birdy77 · ‎21-06-2018

Hi Quivz,

I just had another idea, you could sign up with "airtasker", you choose random jobs that people need help with, assemble furniture, weed a garden patch, pick up &deliver their groceries, take their dog for walk .... you choose, they pay.

🌻birdy

Quivz · ‎20-09-2018

So i'm back on newstart and have my medical conditions all accounted for which is good. I am seeing a new therapist who was a job coach before going back to study, so that's also helpful. But i still cant think of any suitable work types. I go down the job lists on seek and get 50 -60 pages deep and dont see one thing i could cope with. I also realized that there's no way i could cope with working more than part time and did some quick calculations which tells me i will probably still never be able to afford to move back out of my parents house without roommates which i will not do again. I'm not going to be able to get anything that pays enough without doing full time hours, which I'm unlikely to ever be fit to do again. Knowing that even if i achieve everything i can hope for, i will still be unable to support myself is really depressing. So my only motivation to work at all is now gone. Why would i push myself to the limits of what i can take to not even get near what i want?