Have no idea what to do with my life

[Baileybasil]

I don’t have any passion or motivation anymore, not even for the things I used to like.

Bad things happened during highschool and that caused me to drop out before completing year 10, now years later I’m still depressed but now I have to get my life together, how can I do that when I have too much social anxiety to see my girlfriend or take a phone call?

I can’t study anything I want to because they all have a requirement to finish year 12 to enter. And I also have no idea what I want to do and no drive to fix anything either.

I think about the future and I only get upset, I don’t want to be forced to work a job I hate until I die or work until I’m old with no savings like my parents. I talk to people these days and I cringe at myself, dissecting what I said and telling myself it was stupid or lame.

[Baileybasil]

Getting better makes me anxious too because I’m going to forced to become a part of the world again and I hate that, I don’t know what I want to do and it’s gonna be so much work just to be able to start to do something like uni. I’m also scared of living a meaningless life like my parents who just work for us living paycheck to paycheck. How can they be happy and continue on? All I think about is how shitty the world is, all the people and systems that are out to get you. It seems like a waste of time. I don’t get satisfaction out of social things like everyone tells you to focus on if youre stuck. The regular answers people give to depressed and anxious people sound the exact same and none of it works for me. and I’ve seen a psychologist for 5 sessions and all the tactics are shitty breathing and writing exercises, and she didn’t do anything about my depression only focused on my anxiety with barely got better anyway

[Petal22]

Getting better is a really positive step Baileybasil……. Being part of the world again….. you already are a part of the world but you can make different choices to make your world a better place…..

You don’t have to do uni, there are a lot of other choices you can make with work I know people who didn’t finish high school and have very good careers………

Who said you will live a meaningless life? We are given a life and and it’s up to us to make it good or bad …… Your parents living pay check to pay check maybe they don’t see it that way….. they love their children and I’m sure you guys have enriched their life……. It’s what we have in our life that matters…….. love, friendship and family……… this is a very rich life if you have these things….

im sorry your phycologist wasn’t a good fit for you……., maybe try to find a new one who fits with you……

One of the biggest things in life is “ giving “ …….

look for the good positive things in life……. Believe me they are there you just need to look for them, the simple things are the best..

Here to chat

[Baileybasil]

I don’t want to work in a job that’s just mundane chores that anyone can do. And if I gave my mum enrichment in her life I don’t think I’d be the same person.

love friendship and family drains me, I can’t hang out with my girlfriend for more than a day without wanting to be alone. I just can’t accept anything anyone is telling me, I can’t see the little things, there aren’t any positives.

I haven’t washed any clothes or taken care of myself in a long time. I can’t talk to anybody about this unless it’s over text and even then I’m vague and it gives me trouble. I can’t just go and talk to someone

I’m just lost, there’s nothing to grab onto, nothing helps

[Baileybasil]

I don’t believe in myself at all. I have zero confidence, I doubt I’ll be able to do anything meaningful. everything I’m supposed to be good at it’s just surface level knowledge that people think is deeper than it is. I can’t even talk to co workers and be myself I’m just an awkward shell of a person who can’t be himself around people and end up looking silly

[Petal22]

Ok, I understand Baileybasil ……

I’m sorry you feel lost, it must be hard

Confidence grows within yourself over time, you could start to do positive things….. even if it is just looking after yourself…….just take things day by day I really hope things get better for you…….

im here to chat

[Baileybasil]

After years of feeling the same way with no improvement I don’t have drive to try anymore. I’ve tried doing little things like that. Lifeline chat doesn’t even answer me it just connects perpetually. I am out of options and hope

[Sophie_M]

Hey Baileybasil,

We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling out of options and hope right now, but we'd urge you not to give up. Please know that things really can improve with the right support, and we think you've shown so much strength in reaching out for help through this. We can hear how distressed you're feeling in this moment and we want you top know that we are reaching out to you privately to check in and offer some extra support. 

We'd also really encourage you to reach out to our friends at Kids Helpline- who offer support and confidential online and telephone counselling 24/7 for those under 25. PLease know you can call the understanding counsellors anytime of the night or day on 1800 55 1800 or you can also reach out through their webchat here: https://www.kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

It's also really important to keep safe when you're feeling this way, and we think it may really help to have a look into “BeyondNow suicide safety planning” if you haven't already: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning
If at any stage you feel unable to keep safe, it's really important that you contact 000 straightaway. 

We hope that you can find some comfort from our community here, and please feel free to talk more about what's on your mind.

[Petal22]

Hi Baileybasil,

So sorry you have been feeling this way, there is always hope…. With the correct help you can get better…

please call Beyond Blue

im always here to chat to you

[Baileybasil]

I don’t think there is correct help for me

[CalmCat]

Hi Baileybasil,

Thank you for being so open with us and sharing your feelings.

What are your pleasures in life? Do you like food or cooking? What about being a butcher?

Tell me more about your hobbies, I'd love to help find you a path in life that you'd enjoy. I once felt the same as you when I was younger and I found pleasure in looking after people, hence my career path.

Looking forward to hearing back from you.

Regards,

cc