Anxiety

Pretty sure I have screwed up.

replies: 7

Just got back from my psychologist appointment. I have been antsy all week about it, and pretty wound up the last few days, because we were all set to induce the panic attacks using hyperventilation. Breathing is a trigger of mine. And once in a pani... View more

Just got back from my psychologist appointment. I have been antsy all week about it, and pretty wound up the last few days, because we were all set to induce the panic attacks using hyperventilation. Breathing is a trigger of mine. And once in a panic we were using EMDR therapy to work towards ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy). So yeah I am kind of really drained and weirded out at the moment. Anyhow... I have my friend, the only person I have actual contact with, who is also my carer. We were introduced through a st vinnies program called Compère about 8 years ago. He is pretty much my only friend and support person. I have been seeing this psychologist for about 18 months now, and have had my friend in the session with me. As I have pretty chronic anxiety and agoraphobia he drives me to the sessions. I also have lived in his backyard in a converted pool house flat for 4 years just about. He is about the only person, family included, who has been there and been help to me over the time we have known each other. He has personal knowledge of depression and has had a panic on a plane previously so knows the depth of that fright. And I included him in the sessions as it is him who would take me to shops or appointments etc, out in public. So he could talk to my psych about support methods and such. He also has chronic pain and other health issues, and has not been in a good place himself for a long time now. I understand that, and have tried to not trouble him as ,ich with my own garbage. So. The point of this post. I have gotten a lot better at coping with the thoughts and sensations I get which would once have triggered a full panic. I know a lot of what comes out of me, thoughts and comments, are negative. I have a bad habit of setting myself up to fail. Like if we went for a walk around the block I would usually have an anxiety attack most of the way and I would try and prepare for that, but that came across as setting myself up for failure. I feel like I have failed if I am not able to do something without an attack. And the majority of what I say, I can’t breathe, I am going to die, am I breathing okay, my pulse is wrong etc etc is all repetitive. Regardless of whether I had done the same walk the day before, I will still come out with the same questions and comments etc. I know for a fact that is frustrating. And must be highly frustrating to hear the same thing again and again. Today, while in a panic, i barked back at him. I screwed up.

OCD and food

replies: 1

I have OCD around food. My problem is I can’t handle my husband cooking (we take turns) some thing he makes I can eat but he is the exact opposite of me. He eats expired food, handle raw meat and then rinses his hand (no soap) and I literally just ca... View more

I have OCD around food. My problem is I can’t handle my husband cooking (we take turns) some thing he makes I can eat but he is the exact opposite of me. He eats expired food, handle raw meat and then rinses his hand (no soap) and I literally just can’t put his food to my mouth. Which means because we have a limited food budget I’m basically starving every second week. He gets annoyed with me asking him questions about the meals, how he cooks them and intentionally cooks stuff I won’t eat because he says I’m being ridiculous. Get it, but I can’t change that right now. Is there any information I can give him regarding OCD and food so he will wash his hands properly?

How I handled most of my anxiety symptoms and only heart palpitations left to go.

replies: 7

Hello, some months back I posted how I didn’t want my anxiety to get worse because I was having symptoms like chest pain, headaches, blurry visions, back pains etc. And how I’ve had an ECG and heart Blood Test done and all came back fine. Well, I sta... View more

Hello, some months back I posted how I didn’t want my anxiety to get worse because I was having symptoms like chest pain, headaches, blurry visions, back pains etc. And how I’ve had an ECG and heart Blood Test done and all came back fine. Well, I started by embarking on my a research. I started reading on ways to keep my heart healthy and to relieve my anxiety. Please, before I continue. I don’t really know the particular food or exercise that started to reduce my symptoms. I’d like to think it’s a combination of everything. So during my research, i watched some videos and they mentioned “Dates”, so I started eating it, two per day. I started walking more because I heard walking helps reduce the likelihood of heart attacks and other cardiac events. I walk about 1 hour every day, about 5 to 6km competed every hour. Then I came across some article on the wonders of beetroots and how it helps to relieve blood pressure by relaxing your nerves, I started eating it and then started to eat at least 2 cloves of garlic a day, I read that it relaxes the hearts nerves. I mostly eat them at night. Also, at night, i make sure I eat at least one citrus fruit like orange or mandarin. I drink lemon water every 2nd day. Also, I added an apple, pear, kiwi , and some spinach to my nightly snacks and a cup of green tea. All these I heard are good for the heart. I now have strawberries, blueberries, almond and cashew nuts added to my morning cereal, added Mindfulness to my exercises. And for about 3 weeks now, I haven’t had any of those symptoms except for heart palpitations. I have also increased the number of my sleeping hours from 4 to about 5-6 every night. I used to be scared of sleeping cos I always feel like I’m going to die of a heart attack in my sleep. Also, thanks to the new ECG feature on the Apple Watch, I now check mine at least once a day. I keep track of my heart rates. And all of these helped in reducing my anxiety. Fingers crossed that soon, the heart palpitations would be gone. I hope this helps someone else.

Health Anxiety and Contamination OCD

replies: 2

Hey everyone, Last year I developed some mild chronic health conditions that give me symptoms similar to a weak cold, and as they went undiagnosed for a long time, they ended up having a big impact on me (many COVID tests, frequent days off work, not... View more

Hey everyone, Last year I developed some mild chronic health conditions that give me symptoms similar to a weak cold, and as they went undiagnosed for a long time, they ended up having a big impact on me (many COVID tests, frequent days off work, not being able to participate in my hobbies, not socialising, etc.). As a result, I became so worried about getting sick that I developed health anxiety and contamination OCD (in addition to existing social anxiety and depression). Even though I now have a diagnosis for my health issues, I still struggle when I feel like I am at risk of getting sick or when I have any symptoms/body sensations that could indicate some kind of illness. I am lucky that my mental illnesses aren’t overwhelmingly difficult to deal with on a day-to-day basis, but there are times when specific situations can lead to me feeling very low, and I also acknowledge that the habits I rely on to avoid getting sick (e.g. declining social invitations, being suspicious of those around me, limiting the role/s I can do within my job, etc.) might not be sustainable or might lead to me feeling worse. I was hoping someone out there might be able to relate or at least just send some good vibes my way. Thanks, Willow Jude

Brain zaps

replies: 2

Hi I keep getting brain zaps since I stopped taking anti-depressants. Now I know it's supposed to be a short term withdrawal symptom but.... I stopped it in 2014. I got sick as a dog with super high temperatures and ended up in hospital a few times. ... View more

Hi I keep getting brain zaps since I stopped taking anti-depressants. Now I know it's supposed to be a short term withdrawal symptom but.... I stopped it in 2014. I got sick as a dog with super high temperatures and ended up in hospital a few times. Does anyone else have "brain zaps" years after stopping anti-depressants? Does anyone have any solutions or advice to help?

Anxiety impacting others?

replies: 4

Hi all, hope you are well Does anyone else find that their anxiety can impact other people? It makes me feel incredibly upset when this happens. It makes me feel like I don't want to exist anymore because I am bringing others' pain. It has just been ... View more

Hi all, hope you are well Does anyone else find that their anxiety can impact other people? It makes me feel incredibly upset when this happens. It makes me feel like I don't want to exist anymore because I am bringing others' pain. It has just been a low time for me at the moment. I met someone new recently and I really like them. I am very anxious around romance and I overthink a lot. I lock myself behind a wall and refuse kindness sometimes. I know I enjoy the romance between me and this person, because I miss it when it is not there. But I have now made this person feel worried because they're afraid of making me feel anxious. And I have made them feel bad with my overthinking. I have always had troubles with interaction. I worry about what other people think of me. So, I tell myself that I should be alone, that maybe I don't deserve to find happiness with another person because of the amount I would put them through. It just does not seem fair. Then I feel like I should lock myself away and stop interacting with people all together, it is very lonely. I do not want to do that. I want to keep talking to this person. I am not going to stop, because that would hurt more. I have someone I trust to talk to. They help me see situations clearer and help me find out what I am actually feeling. I realised I felt so sad about how I have impacted this person because I started crying. I said sorry again to this person I am interested in. They are very patient and understanding. This person tells me to take my time, which I really appreciate. But I just feel like I don't deserve it. I make simple things unnecessarily hard. I keep thinking to myself: I hate this, I hate my anxiety. I do not want to be this person. I want to be carefree and have fun. I am a young person who should be able to enjoy life and meet new people. But I feel so held back by anxiety and my past experiences. I start hating myself. I want to just stop feeling. I want it all to stop. I don't want to go to therapy again. I just don't know what to do. I feel hopeless. I don't really see any solution because I know I will be like this for the rest of my life. Anxiety has always been here, since I was a little kid. I have never had one break and I am honestly so sick of it. Someone told me to try and be kind to myself, but I don't even want to do that. I feel like I deserve to feel bad. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I want to thank whoever reads this. Take care & stay safe.

Being a first time mum (or mum in general) with anxiety

replies: 1

Being a mum is hard work. There's no clock off time. But don't get me wrong I wouldn't change it for the world! But when I start to feel unwell or have things with my body go wrong I go into full anxiety attack mode and worry myself silly because it ... View more

Being a mum is hard work. There's no clock off time. But don't get me wrong I wouldn't change it for the world! But when I start to feel unwell or have things with my body go wrong I go into full anxiety attack mode and worry myself silly because it always ends with me thinking the worst like what if something happened to me, I'd never see my boy again. It is so crippling. Does this happen to anyone else? Nothing has happened with my son yet, but I can only imagine I will be the same, if not worse if he ever had something happen!

Poor memory?

replies: 3

There can be many reasons for a depleted memory. Medications over many years can be one reason, age, medical causes like dementia or even daily stress. What ever the reason one thing is certain- those you communicate with wont know your memory is poo... View more

There can be many reasons for a depleted memory. Medications over many years can be one reason, age, medical causes like dementia or even daily stress. What ever the reason one thing is certain- those you communicate with wont know your memory is poor and even if they do like a spouse would know, that doesnt mean it will sink in as to why you forget things. Of the many examples of a poor memory and the effect it has on our lives one stands out more than others for me. In conversation if I'm talking about a topic, say I'm about to list 3 reasons to visit my GP and I'm interupted half way through the first reason...then I will completely forget about the other 2 reasons. This places stress on me that even if I said "one moment and I'll finish" I would not be able to retrieve my thoughts. That has a ripple effect in that it becomes a clash. "Dont interrupt me" I'll react. To the other person all they are doing is carrying out normal conversation back and forth expressions. To the person with the leaking memory it feels like poor manners, disrespect or self centred thoughts i.e. more thinking about what they want to say rather than listening. Two sides to every story- I could be a "rambler" one who talks too much with little room for replies. You might forget the ritual of putting a notebook in your pocket. Ok, so you put a note up next to your bed "notebook"...but you forget to read the note!. A mobile phone alarm is a good option...can you remember how to set it? Remember to do AM or PM hours? Poor memory can lead to an increase in anxiety as you pressure yourself to remember anniversaries, birthdays and the like. Several years ago I told my family that birthdays are out for me...I'll only give gifts at xmas time. That way I'm not obliged to remember as if I forget, I could be frowned upon. I'm a classic case of a person that beats themselves up on these sorts of traditional expectations. No one would expect a paraplegic to walk but like all mental deficiencies everybody expects you to think normally. Our drawbacks are out of their sight so- out of their mind. That is normal- we cannot demand attention to these invisible disabilities, so what is the ideal remedy? A poor memory and impatience can result in conflict. We need to understand that repeating ourselves to others in a polite manner to remind them that we cannot remember is the main tool of our communication storeroom. "I'm sorry I cant recall" is better than "I have a poor memory REMEMBER"! TonyWK

Stressed!😩

replies: 2

Hi I’m new here. im suffering anxiety I think. I have left a narcissistic ex of a marriage of 20 years and now still 2 years downtime track fighting asset division. He believes he is entitled to 80% - 70% of it. I’m feeling sick as I had to see him i... View more

Hi I’m new here. im suffering anxiety I think. I have left a narcissistic ex of a marriage of 20 years and now still 2 years downtime track fighting asset division. He believes he is entitled to 80% - 70% of it. I’m feeling sick as I had to see him in a conciliation conference and he was so obnoxious and arrogant. He was not willing to compromise or budge, the whole conference was a waste of money. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat and my skin is breaking out in a rash. After the conference it’s looking like another 2 years of dealing with and going to court costing more money. My work has been cut back to 3 days and I’m struggling. This divorce is eating me up and cannot take it.

One little mistake at work and I might have lost everything I've worked for :'(

replies: 1

Long story short, just over one week ago I was working and had a member of the public verbally attack me and was so aggressive that I accidentally said 'F you' when I walked away. I spent the next two days beating myself up over how I responded and t... View more

Long story short, just over one week ago I was working and had a member of the public verbally attack me and was so aggressive that I accidentally said 'F you' when I walked away. I spent the next two days beating myself up over how I responded and things started to get better at work until yesterday. I was pulled into my managers office and handed a letter saying I am now under investigation because this guy (who yelled at me, waived his hands in my face, was towering over me and every time I took a step back he would take a step forwards to stay in my personal space) has put in a complaint about me and I'm at risk of losing a promotion to my dream job which I was just offered (they called me and said they had to retract the verbal offer whilst I am under investigation). I have worked my butt off and have never had any issues, have never had any confrontations in my life, but one little mistake and moment of weakness may have just destroyed my career. I don't know how long this investigation will take. I have a meeting on Thursday to respond to the allegation but I don't know what will happen next. And I don't know if this will mean I don't have a chance of getting re-offered the promotion. I haven't slept, my anxiety is through the roof, I keep breaking down in tears, and my partner and family keep telling me to stay strong and positive but I don't think I have any more strength left in me. I feel like I've been hit by a bus and am petrified that I will lose this job. I'm trying to stay positive but I am struggling so much right now and I don't know how I can keep going. I know that I might be overreacting and I'm hopeful that my manager will have my back and it will all work out, but I keep returning to the worst case scenario and I don't know how I can get through the rest of this week. How can I get through this?

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